Friends call/ask me join them in calls, only to be ignored
The story
I just want to clarify that I love my friends. I've actually talked to them about this. This is just one thing that has been bothering me about them, and I know they just want me around. But I think I've had my patience run thin this week ever since a new game came out. My friends all complain when someone else does this to them, but THEY'VE BEEN DOING IT THEMSELVES. It's been grating me, like my brain is perpetually hearing nails on chalkboard and I just want to let it out.
I know hanging out in silence or parallel playing is a thing in group calls, I do it too. But don't fucking call me or ask me to join a group voice call, only for you to do something else entirely to the point of ignoring me. One example is my friend always asking me to join a call, then just out of the blue decides "OH I need to go on a bit of a walk, brb!" one fucking minute after calling me. They don't even hang up and call later, they just fucking leave me in the call for 30 minutes to an hour to wait for them (I know because one time I stayed to see how long they're gone for, I hang up on them now when they do this).
Another example is one friend asking me to hang out with them, but when I come in, they're all playing a game together. They'd ask me about my day, but when I do tell them but then they're too fucking busy playing that they don't even respond to me. It's one thing if I came in, fully knowing you guys are playing and I just want to see you play a game. It's another to outright ask me to make time for you guys, and just flat out not even acknowledge me. What was the point of calling me here in the first place?
It takes a lot out of me, too, since I get easily tired with social interactions (I love socializing, my energy level is just very low). It's even more exhausting when they specifically ask for my attention, and they just outright fucking ignore me even though THEY asked me to join them.
I don't know, I know it's not that serious. But sometimes, it just feels like they're not respecting my time at all when they do this, and it gets so exhausting.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey mate chill out a bit 😅 maybe your friends are just busy multitasking & it's not like they're ignoring u on purpose?!
I know they're not intentionally ignoring me, and usually it's not a big issue. I think it's more of a pet peeve that has been boiling over. It's just been such a frequent thing this week that I'll wait minutes, turning into hours, and I'll try to at least make a comment or talk when I know they're not in a stressful part of what they're doing. But I'll get no response on their end, not even a throwaway comment.
it seems like you're experiencing cognitive dissonance with your friends' behavior 😊 perhaps their actions are unintentional and not indicative of a lack of respect; i recall similar instances in my own social circles and have found that open dialogue often rectifies the situation! engaging in metacommunication could foster mutual understanding: prioritize elucidating your sentiments constructively in time… i believe you'll find that expressing your concerns might facilitate a more gratifying interaction ❤️ it's crucial to maintain equanimity and optimism throughout the process
Hello! Yes, I have talked to them about this. As said, I usually try to communicate how I'm feeling, and I do appreciate that they're always looking out for me. Looking back on it now that I've calmed down, I think I just felt overwhelmed since it's been a frequent thing for a week, and I just can't help but feel awful when I get invited over and I get no responses for hours at a time. I usually never join in when I know they're busy, but I've thought since they invited me over, they would be more attentive. I'll try to be more understanding.