I'm not like that gentleman who thinks he's my friend
The story
I feel like my coworkers have been excluding me from the group they were in for a long time; in fact, everyone did. They all try to hide the fact that I'm on the outside, silent. I feel like it's not fair. It can't be that I'm excluded within my own work group. I feel like I like a girl. Could this be the same thing happening to her? It bothers me that they sometimes let me know when something is published for others and when it's not.
Yesterday they had a meal and in front of the others they left me alone. I was starving, I didn't have a spoon, and my coworkers knew it, and they continued after I was given a spoon and they didn't. I feel like my coworkers left me behind, and it's not fair. How can I not sell my head to someone else? I haven't felt anyone with me for a long time. I admit it, I feel alone. Since my treatment, I feel alone. I'm provoked by a gentleman who's bothering me and making a scene to see if they really care about me, but it's no use. I'd be exposing myself, something I might not be able to get out of later.
Why am I ostracized at work? Why is it that my coworkers and I aren't one and the same? It's just them and me, it's that simple. In fact, once I was eating alone, they saw me, my boss didn't even appreciate my meal, and he and a coworker were eating on their own. Why isn't there any desire to be with me? Why is there no desire to be with me? Why is everyone ignoring me? What's wrong with me, for God's sake? What's going on here? Why can't I share these kinds of stories on Facebook? I had so many things to express, and the page censored me. That made me so angry. I hope I don't use this website; I really need it to vent. Why can't I be with a person like any other human being?
Why can't I count on anyone around me, my God? Why is it them and me on my side? Why do we pretend nothing's happening? Why am I so weird? Why am I so strange? I feel like I'd really like to get into trouble just to get attention. I admit it, I feel like I'm weird. I don't like being disrespectful, I can't stand disrespect, I demand respect for my work, I like to respect my health at all costs, I'm more modern than them, I reject academic degrees, but despite this, I act as if I have the requirements for obtaining them, I'm not attached to my family, and despite everything, since all of that defines what I think about myself, I do things well. Otherwise, it would bring me problems, that is, people would say that I don't do them well, and here it's the opposite, and that's exactly what makes them embrace me, but not stay there in the long run, given such characteristics. They tolerate me, however, they use those free moments to stop the effort, and frankly, I understand them; I would do the same.
I feel that a man I know has a life that is too disdainful and hasn't known what to do with it, undoubtedly because he doesn't face the events of his past and present. That is, he dwells in them without leaving them, and bases his life solely on fleeing from such issues, from such feelings. In fact, that's why his routine is structured; we agree that we both want to protect our routine, but the foundation and the people are different, that is:
- I'm somewhere between good and bad because my colleagues and I don't quite gel, so there's no extreme. On the other hand, I'm fair, because it clashes and at the same time he tries to keep himself from going deeper, even though he doesn't succeed, which is a huge burden on his life because he feels like his life is always going downhill. I used to feel it, but it was a sensation I had to navigate, given that there is a structure that sustains me.
I base my routine on the freedom to generate ideas for myself and give myself context regarding my surroundings; in his case, however, it's based on remaining on the run from his feelings. My routine seeks confrontation, while his, absence. Indeed, we both flee the consequences of worsening disasters, given that the same path is followed, only mine leads to a favorable course of action, while his leads to a dead end, resulting in despair, which in my case results in nothing but tranquility.
That gentleman and I are superficially similar; however, deep down, we are radically different people. We have no business together. Another difference: I seek to be cautious when getting involved with another, allowing for open spaces within the timeframe that allows; he, for his part, doesn't take that timeframe into account. We can't be together, given that we will enter into a debate of ideas regarding how to do things in a constant manner. Our relationship is impossible. Besides, I choose to take the consequences into account and he doesn't. Such a relationship would go towards a Take me by his side, because of his blindness, because on my part these are issues I would have to explain to him, and he simply refuses. That is to say, the validity would be on his grounds and not mine. Because of mine, I am a developed entity, unlike him, and he ignores it. Therefore, it results in a toxic friendship, in that it would lead to my depersonalization, and the idea is for it to remain valid.
I have to say it. It's a shame that a person similar to me—in terms of, in my opinion, intelligence, interest in writing, learning methods, loneliness, turbulent past, research, sacrifice, and difficulty in life—cannot be with me. We can relate. However, it is a superficial similarity because the aforementioned are means, and the same as a whole, as we have seen, embrace dealing with one or fleeing from one, and therein lies the difference, and in which a necessary distancing is warranted. Indeed, these means are my refuge to recover, as is your case, however, the issue between him and me also lies in the effects on the environment as well, in your case these effects result in a way of staying the same, in your routine, in my case too, however, in the expression of feelings, that is where maturity lies and hence the above: We are simply going to tend to fight together. It is reiterated what was said: It is healthy to separate it, to separate would only settle on unhealthy ground.
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Points of view
it's never easy to feel like the odd one out, especially in a place where you're supposed to collaborate and feel part of a team 🙃. i've definitely been in similar situations before, and it can make you question everything about your workplace dynamics. sometimes it's all about finding the right approach to connecting with your colleagues; maybe try initiating casual conversations or suggesting team activities that everyone can get involved in. remember that it's not just you; people can get caught up in their own routines and might not even realize how their actions affect others. what's important is that you maintain your individuality and focus on your strengths, no matter what anyone else is doing. keep being yourself, and you'll find your tribe eventually; always remember that it's perfectly okay to acknowledge these feelings and let them guide you towards new opportunities for better connections.
man, that really sucks!!! feeling left out at work is rough 😕. why can't people just act decent??? seriously, it's like they don't even see how they're making you feel isolated. gotta stand up for yourself, you know??? like, maybe just tell them straight up how you feel; people are sometimes clueless and need a wake-up call. don't take it personally though; weirder shit happens at workplaces. keep your chin up and stay true to yourself; you'll figure this out!!!
man, i totally feel your situation. it's tough when you find yourself on the outside looking in. it sounds like your colleagues are missing some basic courtesy; like, come on, everyone deserves respect, right? "no man is an island," as they say, and it seems like they're forgetting that. i get you're feeling alone, but hang in there; it's important to keep your cool. sometimes folks don't realize their actions affect others. gotta speak up for yourself, though—you know like how they say "the squeaky wheel gets the grease"—because staying silent won't change a thing. hope things improve for you soon. 🤞
hey, I get that feeling excluded at work is tough, but maybe there's a way to look at things differently. it seems like you're really focused on how others are treating you, but sometimes it's also worth considering how we might be contributing to the situation. "we see things not as they are, but as we are;" perhaps trying to openly engage with your coworkers or showing interest in group activities could gradually change the dynamics. it's not always easy, but small steps can create a more inclusive environment over time. remember, every workplace has its quirks, and learning to navigate them with patience and positivity can sometimes lead to unexpected friendships and understanding. hang in there, and don't lose hope that things can improve.
feeling like you're the odd one out at work can be incredibly disheartening. it sounds like there's a real lack of cohesion in your team dynamic, and that can really affect your day-to-day experience. sometimes, it can feel like no matter what you do, you're constantly excluded from the loop; have you thought about talking to a trusted colleague or supervisor about how you're feeling? workplace culture can be tricky to navigate, especially with subtle exclusions and informal cliques that seem hard to penetrate. remember, it's important to assert your presence and ensure that your contributions are acknowledged. keep pushing forward and stay positive; maybe make an effort to engage with others and see if that changes anything. don't lose hope, things might get better with time and some proactive steps. hang in there!