SOOOOOOOOOOO recently, my friendgroup has split into kinda two "halves", the Kpop fans and what I tend to call The Freaky Peeps. We're all still really good friends, it's just people stick with their respective halves rather than hang out a lot with the other half. it's just kinda the way we naturally split the friendgroup since it's so big.

I "belong" to the Kpop half of the group, and in our half, we pretty much simp over every single guy in the Kpop universe (Han from SKZ is literally SO cute, change my mind!), and The Freaky Peeps just ignore our fangirling (or, in one case, fanboying) and do their own thing, which we don't pay much attention to.

My best friend, K, is on the other half of the friendgroup, and he sees my crushes on Kpop guys as really weird. He calls me "parasocial" a lot, whatever that means, and today, we were having one of those goofy friend arguments and he actually said, "At least I don't simp over real people!" and I didn't show it but it actually hurt a bit. It felt like he was judging me, like he was saying "Oh, this is different from me, so it's weird and therefore wrong" and I know he didn't mean it like that but I just can't help but feel like he did. And now, sitting in homeroom a few minutes after he said that, I feel like he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore.

I would talk to him about it, but I've never been good at communicating my feelings and I'm scared that if I tell him how I feel about this I might accidentally reveal my trust and abandonment issues and that's the last thing I want him to know about. I just don't want him to worry. Also, I don't want our friendship to end over this.

Another thing: I feel like he only really complains over MY crushes on Kpop guys, not any of the other Kpop fans'. Like I'M the only one he sees to be a problem.

While I do love K (platonically), it's really starting to piss me off how much he judges me. I actually don't judge him as much as he's ever judged me. He's constantly commenting on something I'm doing, or someone I like, or a fandom I'm in. The closest I get to judging him is when he was OBSESSED with Dandy's World and I said, "You know, I actually genuinely hate this game" because I thought he cared more about his stupid Brightney mastery or Vee or whatever than me.

He's also made me mad in other ways: He doesn't know when to back down from a fight. Metaphorically and literally. He picks fights without even thinking about what he's saying, and when someone tries to start something with him, he bites the bait and makes the situation worse. He's gotten so many detention hours for it and no matter how many times I tell him "Just ignore them, they'll go away, don't respond to them" he just never listens, saying that he'd rather stand up than stand down but he doesn't know that sometimes, it's best to stand down.

He also defies the rules even more than I do, which is *SERIOUSLY* saying something. He's also gotten a fair share of his detention hours from that as well.

I love K with all my heart but I'm honestly wondering two things: whether he's going to stop being my friend, and whether or not our friendship is even the best thing for me.

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