I might’ve permanently destroyed a friendship
The story
I hurt my friends seriously and now they likely can’t stand me. They still follow me on Instagram and are friends with me on discord, not to mention reply to my messages on Instagram but it’s sparingly.
I will be frank, I have serious attachment issues that reared their ugly head. I had introduced them and was jealous they got close and lashed out on them unfairly. I honestly didn’t know about these issues but after doing introspection I figured that out.
We were in a writing community that the three of us ran, I created it, on discord. I took a hiatus saying I’d be back in January but every night I am anxious and can’t sleep. I am irritable, jealous, depressed, and on the verge of tears everyday. I don’t vent to them like I used to, and I don’t talk about my full pains bc I feel like they’ll think I’m judging them. But idk what to do.
I feel like they hate me and would be better off without me. And I love and cherish them so much I am constantly beating myself up.
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Points of view
Wow, that's some real heavy stuff you're dealing with... 🌟 It's clear you've gone through a lot of introspection!!! Attachment issues can really mess with one's head and heart, right? Good on ya for figuring that out. It ain't easy... Stay positive, things might not be as bad as they seem... 😌
Your pals still follow you and chat, even if only a bit; that's something! Maybe they just need some time. Give them space, but let 'em know you're there... everyone's got their ups and downs!!! Stay true to your feelings, but also be gentle with yourself...
Look, people make mistakes; it's part of being human... Don't beat yourself up too much! Communicating without dumping all your baggage could help. Maybe say sorry, be honest about your issues, and show you've grown... Use this time to work on yourself, it'll do wonders!!! Remember, there's always room for redemption, you got this... 💪
Keep your chin up, buddy! All the best...
Thank you for your kind words! I’ve already decided I’ll send both people an apology letter on the 15th, that way it gives them enough time to read and take it all in. But for now they’re both pretty long and I wanna keep them short for brevity’s sake.
I think I’m going through the 5 stages of grief right now.
Nice idea to send an apology letter! 😉
i hear you and totally get why you're feeling this way. attachment issues can sneak up and cause a lot of stress. it's really good that you've done some introspection and figured out what's going on.
the fact that they're still following you and replying occasionally means there's definitely still some hope. sometimes people just need a bit of space. everyone's got their stuff going on, right?
maybe try having a convo with them. just lay it all out, like "here's what happened, and here's what i'm working on." it could help clear the air, you know? they might understand more than you think.
don't forget to be kind to yourself during all this. mistakes happen, and growing from them is key. you're on the right path by figuring things out and wanting to make it better. keep at it!