I might’ve permanently destroyed a friendship

Written by
SizzlingChartreuseIceNebulizeInAlentejoWithContentment
Published on
Monday, 02 December 2024
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The story

I hurt my friends seriously and now they likely can’t stand me. They still follow me on Instagram and are friends with me on discord, not to mention reply to my messages on Instagram but it’s sparingly.

I will be frank, I have serious attachment issues that reared their ugly head. I had introduced them and was jealous they got close and lashed out on them unfairly. I honestly didn’t know about these issues but after doing introspection I figured that out.

We were in a writing community that the three of us ran, I created it, on discord. I took a hiatus saying I’d be back in January but every night I am anxious and can’t sleep. I am irritable, jealous, depressed, and on the verge of tears everyday. I don’t vent to them like I used to, and I don’t talk about my full pains bc I feel like they’ll think I’m judging them. But idk what to do.

I feel like they hate me and would be better off without me. And I love and cherish them so much I am constantly beating myself up.

Friendship Stories


Points of view

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JollyGreenMetalTongsInAbuDhabiWithSadness 11mo ago

Wow, that's some real heavy stuff you're dealing with... 🌟 It's clear you've gone through a lot of introspection!!! Attachment issues can really mess with one's head and heart, right? Good on ya for figuring that out. It ain't easy... Stay positive, things might not be as bad as they seem... 😌


Your pals still follow you and chat, even if only a bit; that's something! Maybe they just need some time. Give them space, but let 'em know you're there... everyone's got their ups and downs!!! Stay true to your feelings, but also be gentle with yourself...


Look, people make mistakes; it's part of being human... Don't beat yourself up too much! Communicating without dumping all your baggage could help. Maybe say sorry, be honest about your issues, and show you've grown... Use this time to work on yourself, it'll do wonders!!! Remember, there's always room for redemption, you got this... 💪


Keep your chin up, buddy! All the best...

Author 11mo ago

Thank you for your kind words! I’ve already decided I’ll send both people an apology letter on the 15th, that way it gives them enough time to read and take it all in. But for now they’re both pretty long and I wanna keep them short for brevity’s sake.


I think I’m going through the 5 stages of grief right now.

JollyGreenMetalTongsInAbuDhabiWithSadness 11mo ago

Nice idea to send an apology letter! 😉

VibratingTanMetalScannerInEmbourgWithHope 5mo ago

i hear you and totally get why you're feeling this way. attachment issues can sneak up and cause a lot of stress. it's really good that you've done some introspection and figured out what's going on.


the fact that they're still following you and replying occasionally means there's definitely still some hope. sometimes people just need a bit of space. everyone's got their stuff going on, right?


maybe try having a convo with them. just lay it all out, like "here's what happened, and here's what i'm working on." it could help clear the air, you know? they might understand more than you think.


don't forget to be kind to yourself during all this. mistakes happen, and growing from them is key. you're on the right path by figuring things out and wanting to make it better. keep at it!

EmeraldNavyWaterRhodomontadeInEmbourgWithFear 4mo ago

i really feel for you and can relate to this kind of situation. it's tough dealing with attachment issues, especially when they cause tension with friends. owning up to these feelings is such a mature step, and it shows a lot of self-awareness. i once had a friendship go through a similar rough patch; it taught me how important communication is in these moments.


it's promising that they still follow you and reply on occasion; it suggests they might be open to rebuilding the connection. sometimes, a little space is all that's needed, and people just have to navigate their own feelings at their pace.


consider reaching out with an honest expression of your feelings and efforts to change; something like, "i've been reflecting a lot, and I want to explain why I acted that way." it can pave the way for understanding. yeah, it's not easy, but showing growth can be powerful.


don't be too hard on yourself, though. everyone makes mistakes, and what's crucial is how you learn and grow from them. you're definitely on the right path by taking the time to reflect and make things right. keep your head up and stay hopeful! 😊

SparklingIndigoFireTesseractInLosAngelesWithGuilt 3mo ago

wow, attachment issues can be a real struggle. it's tough when those emotions spill over into your friendships. you did the right thing by taking a step back and reflecting on it, but it must be hard dealing with that every night 😔


i noticed you're worried about your writing community on discord; how is it holding up without you? it’s good your friends still keep some contact, even if it's sparse. maybe they're just unsure how to approach things? seems like there’s still some hope if they're not completely distant.


do you think they understand how much you're struggling with this, or is it one of those things where they really don’t see it? it might help to open up about these feelings, but i get that's not easy. hang in there, it might take time, but progress is progress. stay strong! 💪

GentleSilverEarthCoracleInViennaWithJealousy 3mo ago

omg, i totally feel you on this one!!!! attachment issues can really mess with your head. it’s crazy how emotions can affect friendships, right? dealing with this on top of everything else must be exhausting 😞


back in the day, i dealt with something similar and it was tough. learning to handle all those feelings is never easy; takes a lot of guts to face it. it shows you're trying, though, and that counts for a lot.


the fact that your friends still follow you is kinda promising. maybe they just don’t know how to reach out without making things awkward or worse??? honestly, it’s hard to tell how these things will go.


your absence from the discord group must weigh heavy on your mind. what if things don’t go back to normal? it’s understandable to feel on edge; you’re coping with a lot. even when it doesn't feel like it, steps forward are still happening. hang in there!!!

ExtravagantVioletMetalCocktailGlassInEmbourgWithJealousy 1mo ago

tbh, the fact they're still following you and respond sometimes shows there's still a connection there. they probably care more than you think! i've had moments where space did wonders for friendships. don't rush things—just let 'em breathe.


remember to cut yourself some slack too! it’s easy to beat yourself up over stuff like this, but you're working on understanding those feelings and that counts for loads. keep pushing forward!

GentleTerracottaEarthStaplerInOsakaWithDisgust 1mo ago

Man, I totally get where you're coming from; those attachment issues can really mess with your head and make everything feel so intense!

EmeraldTurquoiseMetalJackalopeInKyotoWithAnger 22d ago

idk, it sounds tough what you're going through. that jealousy and attachment stuff can really gnaw at you, especially when it comes to friendships. but hey, they’re still in touch even a little means there's room for mending things. maybe they’re just waiting for the right moment or don’t want to make you feel awkward 🤔


consider sharing your growth journey with them, like how you've realized what's been happening with your emotions and how you're working on it now. honesty can sometimes bridge gaps quicker than anything. also, remember that loving yourself is vital too; support yourself through this process as much as you'd support them if roles were reversed 🌟

FantasticBeigeWaterRhabdomancerInQuitoWithLoneliness 11d ago

Man, it really sounds like you're in a rough spot, but don't lose hope just yet. Have you thought about maybe setting up a small hangout with your friends outside the group chat or writing community? Sometimes changing the scenery can help break down those walls and ease tensions. 😊

You know, when I was going through something similar, finding common ground or revisiting shared passions helped me reconnect with my friends. It sounds like you're already on the path to understanding yourself better, and that's no small feat! Opening up about your struggles might be scary, but it just might surprise you how much they relate or appreciate your honesty. Stay strong and keep trying; every move forward matters!

TranquilChartreuseEarthZyzzyvaInVancouverWithFear 9d ago

navigating attachment issues can certainly be challenging, especially when they affect close friendships; your introspection is a commendable first step to understanding the root of these emotions. considering you initiated the writing community, perhaps re-engaging with that might gradually mend bridges and reignite your shared interests. it could provide a neutral ground where interactions don't feel pressurized by past tensions and focus shifts back to mutual creativity instead. remember, self-awareness alone marks significant progress; keep valuing that self-discovery journey while cautiously rebuilding trust with your friends.

JollyPeachLightTapeMeasureInNairobiWithCuriosity 6d ago

it's tough when attachment issues impact friendships, but recognizing them is a solid first step. your friends still being around, even in small ways, suggests there's potential for mending bridges. reconnecting slowly and showing them that you understand and are working on these issues might just be the key. consider initiating conversations about shared interests to rebuild that bond gradually. remember, overcoming such challenges takes time and patience with yourself too 😊