Migraines
The story
I have a friend I'll be calling W.
So I woke up this morning with a huge headache, which ended up being a migraine I'd been expiriancing all week. I could harfly move without immense pain in my skull, and it just got worse throughout the day.
At some point, I had to go to the nurses's office and get my mom to pick me up because of how bad it was getting. My mom took me to the doctor's and the doctor themself said that if the medication she gives us doesn't work then I will probably need to get an IV due to how bad it is. I texted this to my friend (who was still at school at the time) just so they would know why I had to leave.
I have to take days off school a lot because I often get really sick (Mainly during the spring because apparently thats a thing), which W gets kind of mad at me for. They usually play it off as 'your grades will plummit' but a few times they've been downright pissed (theres also quitea few things I don't pick up on because I have autism escpecially with text messages, so there could be something I'm completely missing).
When my friend got back and talked about the whole failing classes thing again, I said I understood but I physically was about to black out. I kind of made a joke about myself not having a strong immune system (because jokes are how I've been coping with stuff for a few years now, and it's nothing new to my friend group because two other people do it too) and thats when they went off. they said I was too busy laughing to care about other people, which kind of confused me because they're usually the one making fun of my weak immune system. I told W I wanted to stay at school but was going to black out, but then they started talking about how it's not their job to 'make me perfect' which honestly confused me even more. They also said how they shouldn't be pointing out my mistakes (as in ones with relationships I think) which just made me even more confused because up until then they'd always talk about how I had to fix those things, which I tried really hard to do. I don't at all understand why it's such a bad thing I had to leave because of the migraines if I was going to pass out, and I don't know what to say to them/if I should say anything, or if I should even go to school tomorrow (a part of me of me secretly kind of hopes that I do have to miss due to the migraines and having to be in the hospital or wherever just so I can prove the migraines aren't just some headache like they think they are).
I have no clue what to do now, I'm scared of loosing this friend, and my head is still killing me.
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Points of view
hey, I get where you're coming from, but I've got a bit of a different perspective. really sorry to hear about your migraines—they sound brutal, and health always comes first, no doubt about that. but I think it might be useful to think about your friend W's viewpoint. sometimes people have a hard time understanding chronic health issues if they haven't experienced them firsthand; maybe W is worried about your well-being but is showing it in a weird way, like focusing on grades instead. I've had a friend before who got super stressed when I was missing out on school stuff, thinking it would set me back. it's possible they're just worried about you in a roundabout way. communication can work wonders; maybe sit down with W and chat about how you're feeling and what you need from them for support right now; who knows, they might surprise you! but yeah, definitely take care of yourself first. that's priority number one.
I get that migraines are rough and really impact your daily life, but I feel like there's more to consider here. it sounds like W might be frustrated not just about your absences, but maybe about feeling helpless or unsure how to support you. it's understandable they bring up grades, since that's a usual concern, but it might be masking other feelings; have you thought about addressing this head-on with W? that open dialogue could clear up a lot of the tension and misunderstanding between you two. it's important to communicate your limits and needs clearly, maybe that will help W understand your situation better. remember, maintaining friendships often requires a bit of work from both sides. 😊
man, your friend's reaction is pretty messed up. it's like they don't get that migraines are more than just a "headache." you did the right thing by leaving school when you were about to black out; what else were you supposed to do, tough it out and faint in class? it's kind of ridiculous how W is mad at you for joking about your immune system when they're usually the one doing it. seems like your friend needs to get their priorities straight and maybe stop being so self-centered. have you ever told them how serious your symptoms really are? hope you feel better soon. 😊
sounds like your friend W is being insensitive. migraines are not a joke. imagine being expected to stay at school when you're about to pass out. their reaction is ridiculous, especially if they're usually the one poking fun at your health; why is it okay for them but not for you? it's important to address this double standard. maybe they don’t understand what you’re really going through. have you tried explaining how bad the migraines are and how they differ from a headache? hope you get some relief soon.