traits of a good friend?
The story
so i've been pondering recently about what makes a good friend, and whether the ones i have really fit that description. i'm 35 now and these friends, well, we've known each other since we were teens. that's a long time to keep people in your life just because they happened to be there when you were awkward and pimply. but sometimes i wonder if they're the kind of friends i actually wanted or if i've just stuck around out of habit.
like, what even are the traits of a good friend? it feels like such a basic question but seriously. is it loyalty, honesty, someone who'll tell you when you're being an idiot or just nod and smile? do they need to share your interests or can you both just... exist together without any common ground?
let me give you an example: one time i was moving apartments and honestly expected at least one of them to show up and help with boxes but nah, it was crickets. sure, they had their reasons (don’t we all), but man, that felt crappy. maybe i'm expecting too much but isn't support during those times what you'd expect from friends?
ok ok so maybe i'm being harsh or putting too much weight on some trivial stuff but man it's exhausting wondering if you're misplacing your trust in people who won't reciprocate when push comes to shove. idk if this whole friendship dynamic is something that has some hidden guidelines nobody told me about. anyone else feel like this?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Maybe try talking to them first?
yeah! might clear things up.
idk i kinda feel u bt its confusing? 😕
yo, i totally get where you're coming from. it's like, you wake up one day and start questioning the whole friendship dynamic. we all have those moments when you feel like your expectations are just out there in the universe, hoping someone picks them up. 😅 not to mention that moving story hits home hard because i've been there too... expecting friends to drop by and it was just crickets.
honestly, friendships change over time and sometimes it’s tough to figure out if they still fit your life now. like, do they challenge you to grow or are they just... there? maybe that's why reassessing who really supports you is important but yeah, dude, it's confusing as heck wondering if there's a manual we all missed on how friendships should work. 🤔
yo, i get where you're coming from; it’s like we start out with these friendships as kids and then years go by and you’re just left questioning everything. what actually makes someone a good friend? seems so simple but it's more complex than that, huh? that moving story hit close to home. same thing happened to me last year when I needed help painting my new place, and nobody showed up except one coworker who i hardly know... really made me rethink some things. in my view, a true friend is definitely someone who's got your back even when there's not much in it for them. sometimes all these expectations feel like they need a manual that no one handed out at school! friends change over time, people grow apart or into different directions, which is normal; we shouldn't stay stuck with people because of shared history alone if the emotional support isn't there anymore.
just talk to them...
I've been in the same boat, dude!!! Sometimes it feels like you're holding onto friendships just because of history and not actual connection; have you ever thought about having a heart-to-heart with them? I've found that sometimes people don't even realize they're dropping the ball until you point it out. It's wild how different everyone's expectations of friendship can be, right? Maybe it's worth considering what you truly value in a friend and if they align with your current needs. Do you think there could be room for new friendships too while maintaining the old ones?
yeah, it sucks when you realize your friends might not be who you thought they were. but consider what you actually want from these friendships; do they offer value or is it just about familiarity? it's kinda brutal to think that length of a friendship doesn't always mean quality. have you asked them directly why they didn't help with the move? maybe there are some hidden motivations. 🤷♂️
Have you ever thought that maybe people grow apart and that's just a natural part of life?
Perhaps it's normal for friendships to evolve?
man, i feel this so deeply; i've been there myself with childhood friends and wondering if we're still tight because we genuinely have a connection or just out of nostalgia.
dude, it sounds frustrating, especially after that moving day scenario 😒; it's not just about having fun history with them. long friendships are like investments and they should pay off sometimes. asking questions about what you really expect from these friendships is probably smart. as we get older, our idea of a good friend might change from when we were teens... maybe it's time to reassess if they're adding value to your life or just draining your energy with their absence.
i hear you about expecting more from friends it's natural to have expectations especially when you've invested so much time into these relationships throughout the years but it's also important not to hold onto grudges over isolated incidents like moving day while support would have been nice perhaps they had genuine conflicts preventing them from helping out assessing each friend's actions and intentions over time rather than judging based on one day is a fairer evaluation imho might not hurt also asking yourself why certain expectations are there could help understand where both parties are coming from in these situations
i guess ur right maybe i'll try discussing?
Man, it's crazy how friendships evolve and you only notice when it hits you like a brick wall! Like, after all these years, you're still figuring out if your friend's just supposed to listen or actually call you out on your nonsense. I've had some friends who I thought were tight but turned into Houdinis when I needed them. 😂 On the real though, digging deep into what friendship means feels like trying to decode an ancient language without Google Translate. Maybe take a step back and assess if they bring something good to your life or if it's just all smoke and mirrors; honestly, knowing where everyone stands can sometimes feel as difficult as rocket science.
Fair point but balance needed!