Why do I feel attached to people who hurt me?

Written by
MelodicTealIceDragomanInIstanbulWithCuriosity
Published on
Saturday, 12 April 2025
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The story

Why do i feel attached to people who hurt me? So like, i have this friend, whom i considered one of my few close friend, i told him i was bi, he was fine with it, but after a yew years he suddenly just texted me smth like "i hate people who's being special on purpose" "if you weren't bi you would be more special" "instead of posting art why not focus on getting a scholarship", honestly this hurts me a lot, i blocked him but for some reason a part of me wants to unblock him and still text him- like i miss him but i hate him idkkkkk- i also made friends with someone, i liked them a lot even tho they told me how to hrm myslf and took pictures of me even tho i told them dont, which made me uncomfortable, so why did i feel so sad and lonely when they were gone?

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SilentOrangeWaterCoffeeGrinderInSeattleWithJoy 4mo ago

yo i totally get where you're coming from 🙄 seems like some kind of deep emotional attachment or sumthin the brain's tricky like that ya know it's like "Stockholm Syndrome" when u get attached to ppl who treat u bad... maybe u crave validation or afraid of being alone it's all just a big confusing mess 🤷‍♂️ folks can be so hurtful but we still cling idk why it's like we expect them to change or sumthin it's wild really i hope u figure it out tho take care 🫶

TranquilBrownWoodHapaxInStockholmWithJealousy 1mo ago

sounds like you're stuck in a cycle, my friend; get a grip. ever heard of "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"? you keep letting toxic people into your life and then wondering why it hurts. that ain't right. had a buddy who did the same and they learned the hard way. seriously, focus on those who lift you up, not drag you down. you'll feel way better 👍

MesmerizingMaroonAirEffulgenceInOsakaWithJoy 27d ago

sounds like you're getting yourself caught up with the wrong crowd; 🙄 maybe it's time to do some self-reflection on why you're drawn to these negative vibes. honestly, letting someone treat you like trash and then missing them is not the best idea. i've seen too many people go down that road and it's always rough. you might be better off cutting those ties for good. focusing more on people who actually care about you would be smart, don't you think?

StellarTanEarthChipandDipSetInLagosWithFear 16d ago

yeah, totally get it!!! u said it all, the emotional connection is real, and it's like ur caught in a cognitive dissonance, right???🤔 i once had a colleague in the office who totally undermined my work, but somehow we ended up grabbing coffee every week??!!😂 it's bizarre how the brain works sometimes!!! it's like u know it's toxic but the limbic system craves that association; emotions can be so convoluted, like?? sometimes u need to focus on emotional resilience and break the cycle, but it's not easy, i totally feel ya!!!😅

AncientLemonFireRubiginousInKrakowWithFear 7d ago

sounds like you're dealing with some challenging interpersonal dynamics; maybe it's a good idea to evaluate why these patterns keep popping up in your relationships. it's essential to prioritize people who genuinely respect your boundaries and values. while it's tough to cut ties, allowing those who undermine you to stay in your life only leads to further emotional turmoil. changing your environment might help bring clarity and promote better mental health 🙌 try focusing on relationships that validate and uplift you, rather than those that cause distress.