Why do I want to suffer?

I can relate to that but know that your not alone in this! I know it's confusing and hard when you are the person that pushes other people and I can't really tell you why either but I had the same thing too. I think is also because your dealing with your own problems and sometime you just don't want to tell them what's happening and so just push them aside. I know it can be hard but try talking to them about all that...

It feels like you're locked in your head doesnt it. Like you dont know how to exist in any other way but you hate the cage thats been built. I know how it is. Its ok to feel like you cant really feel beyond this. But the fact that you recognize that you want to is a major step. And yes slipping back is the worst. Progress is unfortunately not linear. I wish it was. But please know that wanting to keep getting better is you still fighting. You are fighting for yourself and I am proud of you for that.

Hey there, I totally get where you're coming from. It's like this never-ending cycle that just loops over and over again, right? Sometimes life feels like it's on a constant rollercoaster with endless ups and downs… just when you think you've reached solid ground, the floor crumbles beneath your feet again. I've been through a similar phase myself: as if my troubles defined who I am… but that's not true; we are more than just our struggles or past behaviors.

Remember, acknowledging the problem is the first step towards change, so kudos for introspecting and realizing how you might be pushing people away. People make mistakes. I've done it too (unintentionally hurt those around me) but openness can pave the way to healing both internally and socially; even if words don't come easy at first, having honest conversations can help bridge gaps between you and those you care about. Keep focusing on small positive steps forward! sometimes that's all it takes to regain control! and know that we're here to support you along this journey! 😊

man, i totally get where you're coming from. it's like sometimes we become prisoners of our own mind. ever heard "old habits die hard"? that's what it feels like when old thought patterns creep in again 😒. why do you think your thoughts started coming back? could anything specific be triggering it? sounds like you’re battling between wanting to connect with people and feeling stuck in your own headspace. believe me, admitting that is already a big step!!! but it's also a pain to deal with that constant inner conflict. hang in there, life’s way more complicated than we imagine it at times!

It sounds like you're really reflecting on your actions and feelings, which is a big step forward. It’s tough to feel like you’re slipping back after making progress. But remember, healing isn’t linear—setbacks happen and they don’t erase the progress you've made. You’re aware of patterns in your behavior, which means you have the power to change them. Reaching out for help again from friends, family, or professionals might give you that extra support you need right now 💪.

i hear you, it's like you're caught in this cycle and every time you try to break free, it feels like a setback pulls you back in. one thing i've noticed from personal experience is that self-awareness, which you've got in spades by the way, can be both a blessing and a curse. 🤔

hey, sounds like you're going through a tough time again; i get the feeling that when things slip back like that it can feel overwhelming. i totally get how tempting it is to put up walls and push people away, especially when you’re scared of being vulnerable or judged. but don’t be too hard on yourself… nobody has it all figured out. sometimes just taking small steps, like expressing your needs or feelings bit by bit, can start making a difference 😊 also, remember what david foster wallace said: "you’ll worry less about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they do." maybe give therapy another shot if you've considered it before—but either way, keep pushing forward. we’re rooting for ya!

It sounds like you're going through a difficult time, and I think it's important to recognize the progress you've made in the past year; sometimes it’s easy to overlook how far you've come. It's okay to feel emotions that are conflicting or confusing because healing isn't always linear. It might be helpful to find ways to express what's going on inside without feeling the pressure of being a certain way, perhaps by seeking some support or creating a judgment-free space for yourself; remember that acknowledging these feelings is already a brave step forward.

You know what? It sounds like you're overthinking the hell out of this; maybe you're not slipping as bad as you think. Life's a wild ride, and sometimes we all feel like we're just acting out roles we don't quite fit into, right? Ever thought that maybe your self-awareness is actually a strength? Sure, it doesn’t feel great now, but being able to see where you’re messing up is the first step to pulling yourself together! becoming who you want to be. Why can't you just talk straight with people instead of pushing them away? Saying you can’t is kinda an excuse: like when Ross in "Friends" says, 'We were on a break!!!' Look into finding genuine connections; they might help lessen that jealousy or emptiness feeling. Have you considered talking to someone about this cycle; like a therapist or something????

Hey, reading your story really moved me 😢. It's like carrying a heavy backpack full of rocks that you can't just put down, right? It’s so brave of you to open up about feeling like you're slipping; not everyone can do that! And while it might feel overwhelming, remember that every chapter has its ups and downs... Have you thought about any small things that bring even a tiny bit of joy or relief? Maybe starting there could help create a light at the end of the tunnel 🌈. You're recognizing these patterns in yourself, that's huge!! Building genuine relationships is possible when you're ready...baby steps are still steps forward 😉! Stay strong and keep pushing through!! it might be tough now but there’s always hope for brighter days ahead!

ah, mate, it's wild how sometimes you just feel like you're slipping down that same old rabbit hole again and can't quite shake it off, isn't it?

hey, it sounds like you're going through a real tough patch right now. maybe it's worth thinking about what triggers these feelings for you and if there’s a pattern to when they come back’. sometimes figuring that out can help manage them better! remember, you've managed to get through this before; don’t doubt your strength. reaching out even just a little bit could make a difference; who knows where it might lead, right?

Hey, I gotta say it's impressive that you're acknowledging your feelings and the impact of your actions...takes guts to be that real with yourself! 🤜🤛 From what you’ve shared, it feels a bit like you’re stuck in this loop where you can see what's happening but feel powerless to change it. You mentioned wondering who you'd be without your problems; maybe exploring new interests or skills could be eye-opening? You'd discover facets of yourself beyond what's weighing you down currently. Relating to others is tough, especially when you feel trapped inside your head, but try seeing interactions as opportunities for growth rather than threats. Like my old buddy used to say, "It's not about being perfect, it's about progress." Maybe look into joining some communities or groups where people support each other through similar struggles? they can offer fresh insights and genuine connections you might find comforting 😌

yo, i get that feeling of slipping and it’s rough, but sometimes it’s like you're your own worst enemy with those thoughts, right? 🤔 maybe instead of focusing on the negative side of things, try looking for small wins; like a friend in "bojack horseman" (nice show!!!) says: "'you gotta do it every day. that's the hard part. but it does get easier.'" ever tried keeping a gratitude journal or noting down tiny achievements? sounds cheesy, but it might help shift your mindset just a bit; hang in there!