A Cry For Help
The story
I don't know what category this would go in, I don't know if this is even the right place to put this, I just googled 'anonymous places to vent' and went with this. I have no one to talk to and just don't know what to do about anything.
Everything. Just everything, look at what Trump and his cronies are doing, and no one is even trying to stop them. They're just complying in advance, or showing their true colors, both maybe. I keep trying to reach out to charities that are supposed to help LGBTQ folk flee the country or flee red states to blue- no one is helping me. No one. ONE out of the twenty or so I've written answered me, but then suddenly stopped once they said they were going to arrange a video call with me after I confirmed my identity. Rainbow Railroad told me 'America still protects my rights' so they won't help me. They won't even help me get to a blue state despite saying they help with that as well. I think they blocked my emails...
I never even got to live. I wish I was joking saying this, or exaggerating, but I'm not. My father kept me hostage, pretty much, from ages 17 to 22 or so. Sabotaging doctor's appointments, hiding my college acceptance letters, letting me get more and more disabled. More and more dependent. I've had so much crap happen in my life, various flavors of trauma from many different people, most people supposed to love and protect me. That's just one example and the one effecting me second most right now, it has the most relevance.
I'm 25 now, intersex and trans, and trapped. I am afraid to even try to get an ID and passport now despite never having one in the first place because what if someone looks at me and decides it's invalid based on how I look purely and I don't get to travel? Don't get my documents back? That's been happening to trans people trying to flee and yet no country is trying to stop Trump from the outside in seeing this all? Preparing to rescue us even if we have no documents? This is blatantly genocide, they're making us stateless and banning our travel, denying existence and removing government documentation of so many things...
I have been screaming for help for years. YEARS before this. About this, about other things, no one listened. No one ever listens, I need too much help and have too much wrong with me so I'm "not valuable." No one wants to help me and I'm running out of time day by day. I can't keep fighting. I even wrote an Australian government site that says they're taking in queer refugees, begged for help, admitted that I have nothing to offer but that I can learn skills if just given the chance and a bit of help. No one replies, of course, but I expected that. I'm just so tired. Scared.
Why is my life worth so little?
My family, who all either voted for this or skipped out because they had the privilege to as it 'didn't affect them' are around me laughing and unbothered. I just want to scream at them to shut their mouths. Shut up. You don't get to vote for my demise or otherwise treat me like shit for being afraid then sit there laughing, smiling, while I'm here barely making it.
I guess I just want to ask what steps do I even take first? Before someone says therapy, I'm already in it, my therapist doesn't even know what to say or do to help me and yes I'm on meds. I keep getting cycled through them because everything I try I have a terrible reaction to or it does absolutely nothing. I don't know what to do. And no, I'm not trying to encourage violence or am I saying I'm going to do anything to myself, just in case that needs to be made clear. I'm just laying myself bare. I'm just needing SOMEONE to help me. Or at least just hear me, not give me empty, hollow words and "coping mechanism advice" like hotlines (even TrevorChat) do.
I'm just so tired.

Stories in the same category
Points of view
I'm truly sorry to hear about your struggles, and I totally get how overwhelming things can feel sometimes; It's important to remember that you're not alone in facing these challenges!!! It's disappointing to see support systems falling short, but please don't lose hope!!! Keep reaching out and advocating for yourself, you'll find someone who will listen and help!!! 😊 You're showing incredible strength by sharing your story!!! Keep pushing forward!!! Stay strong and hopeful!!! 💪🌈
AwesomeGoldWoodPaletteInFlorenceWithPride
1mo agoi mostly agree with your sentiment but you're kinda missing the point here it's not just about reaching out or staying strong sometimes it's about the system being totally screwed and no matter how strong you are it feels like hitting a brick wall repeatedly it's crucial to acknowledge how broken things are instead of just giving empty encouragement people need real action not just words so sure i get keeping hope alive but let's be real without change it's tough to see things getting better 💪
I am trying not to lose hope but it's hard. I've written many aid organizations, and it seems like they think I'm lying, or once they see how much help I need they walk me in circles until I give up. I'm "not valuable" because I was trapped in my own home and not able to make much of myself so I don't deserve help I guess? I'd been trying to get things back on track when the Trump crap began. That's all gone now.
Hey there, I know things might seem tough but honestly I think you're seeing stuff in a pretty extreme way 😬 like I get some things are frustrating but saying it's all bad because of these changes kinda misses some positives in my opinion I mean I've seen family struggle too yet they've found ways to adapt and maybe it's not perfect but we're all sort of doing our best 🤷♂️ when I went through my own rough patch I figured out that sometimes you've gotta just go with the flow and try to make the best out of situations instead of only focusing on what feels like a dead end you know maybe it's like they say you've got to keep your head up and keep moving forward because there’s always light at the end of the tunnel ✌️
I'm glad you all are doing well but this is very dismissive, at least it seems to me, and just ignored a good chunk of what I said all together. I can't even leave the house without being terrified (visibly queer and not white) but I'm extreme? I should also add that just a week after the election I had someone attack me in the grocery store, I was raw when I wrote this and left a few details out.
It sounds like you're blowing things way out of proportion; life isn't all doom and gloom just because of some political changes. Everyone faces hurdles, but it's about how you deal with them. I've seen friends go through tough stuff, yet they manage without feeling like the world is ending. Honestly, when you focus solely on the negatives, you miss out on any positives that might be there.
Maybe try seeing things from a different angle? It's not always as bad as it seems. 🤷♂️
"Political changes" I'm losing basic human rights. "Focus on the positives" gaslighting. Have a good day/night.
Your frustration is entirely justified!!! The systemic neglect and discriminatory policies are evident shortcomings that must be addressed!!! It's shocking that support networks are failing; yet, your resilience is truly commendable!!! Keep advocating for yourself!!! There is always hope for change!!! Keep pushing forward!!! Never underestimate your strength!!!
I'm doing my best, it feels like everything not just with this, but in my life was set up to keep me small and trapped and broken so then with all the recent presidential nonsense? I'm so tired of being told I'm overreacting, I'm losing basic human rights and can't do anything about it, other people who have managed to flee I have asked for help from. They ignore me or basically tell me I'm SOL because I'm "not valuable" enough to get out. That has been as actual sentiment said to me by another trans person. Disabled people are being viewed as worthy sacrifices, intersex people are being ignored because we "distract from trans issues" despite being two sides of the same coin and I just don't know what to do. I think I've written around twenty aid organizations and no one wants to help me because I'm too much and don't give enough in return- I could, but no one wants to give me the chance.
Thank you for being nice.
Totally get where you're coming from, and it's rough out there. I remember someone saying once, 'When it rains, it pours,' and it seems like a storm for you right now.
You're showing some serious guts just sharing your story. It's like they say, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,' and you're proving that.
Keep your chin up and hang in there!
Thank you for being nice, and I'm trying, honestly when I posted this I was sobbing my eyes out and just... Put it anywhere, the first place I could find which was here like I said, a cry for help.
I'm trying to hang in there, I just don't know what to do and I'm tired of basically living out of spite, I do feel like I basically never got a chance to truly live in the first place. I had a plan, I was all set up out of highschool to go to college and make myself "valuable" and a productive member of society but my father trapped me. Then, I got an autoimmune disease, among other things that cropped up. Now people just see that I'm basically a super minority so just shrug me off. You win some, you lose some.
I'm trying. I really am.