I'm so effing done with my life (mental health)
The story
(this post will be all over the place, I'm so sorry in advance) M17, I'm a failure. Point blank and simple, I can't seem to do anything right. I always forget stuff, simple or not, like hitting the send button sometimes or I leave something at my house whenever I go somewhere. It's so frustrating. And that's not all; My grades are like B's, which isn't that bad, but I am always told that "you're a smart kid" so then why tf am I making straight B/C's? (Anything below a 70 is not accepted in my house btw) I honestly just hate myself, who I am, what I look like, how I act. It's all just, eff me honestly. I'm the class clown, so I'm loud, obnoxious, annoying, and other such. I have a girlfriend, but I am starting to feel like she's drifting away, which makes me so upset, I don't want to lose her, she's been the best thing to happen to me in a long time, but I always try to be supportive, kind, loving and there for her, but I just, idk. I have Narcolepsy and Anxiety, so I'm often tired and stressed about too much. I just want a frickin' break, like seriously, I can't win at anything anymore. I'm so done. I won't k!ll myself because I'm too scared of dieing, but sometimes it's so hard to just exist. Like I just want to escape it all sometimes for like a week or two, that's all I ask, but I know I won't get that. Also college and my career scare me, I have a year left and I still don't know what I want to be, and I feel this pressure that I have to know soon, it's just all so much. If you've made it this far, thank you, I appreciate you wasting your time on me and my emotional prison. I hope you have a good day
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey there.... I read through your post and honestly, it sounds like there's a bit of overthinking going on!!! sure, it’s tough, but it’s not as catastrophic as it seems??! research shows that “negative self-perception” often skews our view of reality, making things seem worse than they are... those grades? B’s aren’t that bad, especially when learning styles differ so widely!! every educational psychologist would tell you that overemphasis on perfect scores isn't the real indicator of success!! maybe “self-imposed pressure” is just adding to your anxiety??? anyway, college fears are super common — career trajectories don't have to be set in stone right now!!! maybe just take a breather, yeah!
I get where you're coming from... feeling like a failure is tough and it sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now! narcolepsy and anxiety definitely complicate things 😔 being the class clown can sometimes hide how you truly feel inside! your frustration with grades is valid even though bs aren't terrible... the pressure from home makes it feel worse...
i get your worry about your girlfriend drifting away: relationships can be complex!! keep being supportive and communicate openly: it's okay to not know your future career yet!! you're not alone in that fear, hang in there 💪
i just read your stuff and honestly it’s not all that bad 🤔 you say you’re a failure but i don’t really see it dude Bs in school ain't the end of the world and class clown just means you got personality 😅 your girl might seem distant but that happens sometimes! doesn’t mean it's over!!
and career worries yeah... that's normal but u got time to figure it out, no need to stress too much! hang in there!!!
listen, ur being kinda hard on yourself… life ain't as bad as you think 😅 like Bs in school are totally fine not everyone needs straight As to make it; and you being a class clown that's just you being you! anyways, if your girl is drifting maybe just chat with her: openness is key! the future can seem scary but as the saying goes: don't worry about things you can't control! you got this, keep your head up! things will get better