I May Have Old-Timey Disney Princess Syndrome
The story
I know the title is silly. It's my attempt to lighten what is bound to be a pretty depressing situation to write out.
So I'm autistic, but autistic in the way where it's almost -ALMOST- not a problem. I can speak well, I can go out in public and not visibly stand out if I try not to (unless I open my mouth), I'm smart and kind and not prone to outbursts. I keep myself and my surroundings clean enough. HOWEVER. I still need help. I can't open cans or use can openers, I can't hold a bag for long or it hurts my stupid oversensitive hands, I never got the hang of folding clothes or tying shoes. I'll forget to eat sometimes, forget to shower sometimes (though never if I have somewhere to be), and I'm totally nocturnal on account of the only friends I have being digital and overseas. People in real life don't stay, or worse, they do and they bully me. My diet is almost entirely beige, I can't use a bus without getting lost if the route is unfamiliar, the list goes on and on. The things I can do are many, and I love my hobbies no matter how unprofitable they are, but the few things I can't outweigh them by societal importance. Jobs reject me because I can't answer the phone or stand up for the whole shift, and I need to do only one or two tasks, not eight.
This is where the title kicks in - I like to joke I have Old Timey Disney Princess Syndrome, in that there is literally no solution for my problems that doesn't involve waiting for someone else to please, please swoop in and fix it for me:
Want my own house? Wait for someone with money to agree to live with me.
Want a job? Wait for someone to say yes to an application AND they have to agree to my limited scope of things I can actually do.
Want to go out somewhere? Wait for someone to be available to take me.
It's crushing me. I'm doing everything I can to try and move along - I want SOMETHING in my life to change, but it's like I'm on a treadmill. It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try, nothing changes. If anything, the situation gets worse year upon year. I've recently turned 24, so my job prospects are now the lowest they've ever been because I'm now competing with fully-able people my age who who finished university, and I couldn't even go because I got bullied so hard everywhere else.
I know a lot of people who will look at this story and go "wow. what a whiny victim, no such thing as 'can't', just get up and DO IT." and to that I say, "don't you think I've tried?"
Every single thing I have listed for you here, every single item, I have attempted to change or struggle through. I have wasted months or years trying to do things I'm simply not built to be able to do. I have worked myself to breakdown and therapy again and again. I have tried every option available, from self-employment to placements to toughing-it-out. I have tried left handed can openers, electric can openers, ring pulls. I have tried pre-bagged veggies in my diet, differently prepared almost every way you can think of. I have been on so many courses that my work coach has run out of courses to send me on. That is how hard I have tried, and still I have no results. I am exactly where I've been for the past six years.
I am still stuck at home with my borderline abusive father, doing all the chores as best as I can with very little praise for the effort while he comes home and passes out, and I have to accept that, because at least he's worked hard to feel so exhausted. I barely do anything except job applications and chores.
I had thought perhaps the answer was my boyfriend, eventually moving out to America to be with him, but uh...not anymore! thanks politics.
So now I just don't know what to do. I've run out of things to try, and I don't want to be another example of an autistic person driven to the Worst Outcome, but I don't know how much longer I can bear being like this without any change.
I'd appreciate any suggestions from anyone who's been where I am and managed to scrabble out of the pit.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there! First off, I totally get where you’re coming from. Life can throw us curveballs that make us feel like we’re in a never-ending cycle, like Sisypus pushing that boulder uphill only for it to roll back down again every time. It seems like you're facing a lot of challenges, and you've been putting in a monumental amount of effort without seeing the changes you hoped for;
But have you considered that maybe it's not all about waiting for others to swoop in and fix things? Sometimes it's a matter of tweaking our perspective or approach. I once felt stuck in a dead-end job that I despised; I thought I had tried everything to change my circumstances, but one day I decided to look at the smaller victories rather than focusing on the big picture all the time. Those tiny steps made the journey feel just a tad more bearable.
Also, with the job market, sometimes it's not just about fitting into the existing roles but finding or creating a niche where your unique skills can truly shine. Honestly, it seems like you’ve been trying so hard, which is commendable, but perhaps there's a more unorthodox approach that you haven’t explored yet? Maybe networking with people who understand neurodiverse individuals could open doors to opportunities you haven't considered.
What about volunteering or engaging in community projects; they can sometimes lead to paid gigs down the line that fit better with your abilities while also letting you meet new, supportive folks? Anyway, hang in there; you've come this far, and I bet there's a breakthrough waiting around the corner. Keep us updated, yeah?
hey there, I get that you're feeling overwhelmed, but is it really about waiting for someone to 'swoop in' and fix everything? 🙃 life doesn't always work like a fairytale, and sometimes change comes in small, incremental steps rather than big, dramatic rescues; have you ever considered that maybe the key is in making one small change at a time, rather than tackling everything all at once?
i once felt trapped in my career too – always thought I needed a mentor to guide me out of my rut. but then I realized that shifting my focus to learning a new programming language, one tiny step at a time, opened up new possibilities for me!!! sure, it took time, but those little achievements added up to something big.
and when it comes to jobs, have you considered remote work? the online workspace is growing and can be more accommodating. it's like the quote "do not wait to strike till the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking." ever thought of that??? you never know what opportunities might arise when you least expect it. you might just surprise yourself with what you're capable of! 🌟 keep your chin up!
sounds like you're having a rough time. seems like you're feeling stuck, but maybe there's another way to look at it? 🤔 everyone has challenges, but focusing too much on what we can't do might not help; ever heard the saying, "focus on what you can change"? life isn't always about waiting for rescue. sometimes we gotta create our own opportunities.
have you tried connecting with local support groups or online communities that understand what you're going through? could be helpful. also, not trying to be critical, but maybe setting small, achievable goals could make things feel less overwhelming.
i know things seem tough now, but you might discover strengths you never knew you had. remember, lots of folks out there face similar challenges and find ways through; keep trying, you got this.
i hear your frustration, and it's quite evident that you're in a tough spot. navigating life's challenges with autism can indeed present obstacles that many neurotypical individuals might not fully comprehend. it seems like society's expectations often disregard the diverse capabilities and needs of individuals like yourself, focusing instead on a narrow definition of productivity and success within the workforce.
while you have made substantial efforts to adapt and overcome these barriers, the reality remains that the systemic issues you're dealing with are not easily fixed. without societal change, the prospect of shifting your situation independently seems bleak at best. it feels like you're caught in a web where the constraints of society and personal limitations intertwine, creating a rather disheartening atmosphere; who can blame you for feeling stuck?
however, wallowing in this dissatisfaction, while tempting, serves little purpose. consider, instead, the avenues where your unique strengths could be leveraged. working remotely, for instance, could offer a more flexible environment that aligns with your neurological patterns. but let's be honest, immediate transformations are unlikely. system-wide change is essential, but painfully slow.
so, while I sympathize with your situation, the reality is harsh: significant shifts need more than individual effort—they require widespread change. only then can a more inclusive landscape for employment and social inclusion become a reality. 😐
hey, i totally get where you're coming from!!! living with autism in a world that often doesn’t cater to different needs can be super tough. it's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, right? 😟
autistic individuals often face challenges that are overlooked by society, but that doesn't mean those challenges aren't real and valid; you're right in pointing out how society doesn't make it easy. it's just frustrating how many barriers there are!!!
it's really important to find spaces and people who get your situation. you deserve recognition for everything you're going through and trying. keep advocating for yourself and those in the same boat! 🙂
hey, i really feel you on this one. seems like you've been navigating a seriously tricky landscape, and it's exhausting when society isn't built to accommodate different neurotypes. it's like you’re constantly "trying to zoom in on a map that's never clear enough", right? i completely agree with how you're feeling!!!
sometimes, people just say "pull yourself up by your bootstraps," but they don't realize that for some of us, the bootstraps are missing or just out of reach. it's frustrating that so much of this world doesn’t recognize or appreciate the diverse spectrum of abilities out there, and it feels like everything's stacked against you.
finding a way forward can seem impossible, especially when barriers keep popping up. maybe looking into new avenues like remote work could help ease some of that pressure, but let's be real, it's a daunting task; and you're right in saying that the solutions often feel out of reach. it's a tough spot, but your perseverance is commendable!!! hang in there. 😊