just gonna say everything that's on my mind
The story
I'm not ok, I think. I haven't slept in three days, haven't eaten a thing today except for some Smarties and don't plan to eat anything else. I just feel like I'm sinking in the deep end. All my friends are changing and I'm left behind, the same as I've always been, wondering where everyone else went. I just need to grow up, people tell me that all the time, sometimes to be reassuring and sometimes to be insulting, but I can't, I don't change even when everyone else does. I'll always be me, the one who hides everything inside and only shows people what they want, but yet I'm still hated and ridiculed because I did something wrong, because I refused someone's help, because I forgot to be who they wanted me to be. I just wish I could show them the person inside, with no fear that they'd hate me more than they do. Everyone around me only tolerates me, and barely at that. Maybe I'm being a drama queen, people often say that I am, but I'm just so sick and tired of being misunderstood. They see me as an attention seeker when I try to hint at the fact that maybe I need more help than I'm letting on. Everyone's tired of my crap. I constantly give people issues, I start fights, I don't deserve to be here. People would be better off without me. Don't worry, I have something to remind me that death is never the only way out of things. But that reminder hasn't been working as well lately. Nobody really even likes me. I'm a hypocrite, and idiot, a weirdo, and nuisance, a burden on this world. I'm hanging on but barely. I keep stumbling through the tunnel but the light is getting dimmer. The clouds are coming back. The sun is gone. I am unlovable and unloved. No one wants to even try with me anymore. And it's not like I can tell anyone this. They'd never understand.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
dude, you need to eat something healthy and sleep... that's the base in life ,you can't get better if you don't start with this!
it's like you're screaming inside and no one even bothers to notice??? and let's face it, trying to fit into everyone else's mold is exhausting... i've definitely felt like the outsider in my own friend group too, like everyone evolves and you're still stuck in the same spot??? it's a tough spot to be in... and the whole being labeled a drama queen thing?? sooo relatable... people think they know what's up from their perfect little pedestal, but they just don't... life can seriously feel like you're running in circles just trying to catch up, right??? it's those days when you can't even force down a decent meal or catch a decent amount of sleep that hit the hardest... just know you're not alone in this, you know??? but hey, maybe one day people will finally take us seriously and not just shrug it off... we gotta hang in there, even when it feels like you're barely holding on... hope things get brighter on your end, fingers crossed!!!!
hey, i read through your story and really appreciate you sharing it... it's clear you're going through a lot, but i kinda see things a bit differently??? we're all on our unique pathways and sometimes those paths look a bit shaky, you know??? i get the whole pressure of feeling left behind when friends seem to be moving on and changing... but isn't it possible that growth can happen in ways that aren't visible at first???? sometimes it's the internal shifts that count the most... i've been in situations where i thought everyone was ahead of me, but turns out, they were facing their own hurdles too... what they show on the outside isn't always the full story, right??? it's frustrating to feel misunderstood, but maybe talking things out directly with those around you could help??? transparency might bring unexpected support!! i once assumed nobody got me until i opened up and realized that people were more understanding than i gave them credit for... hang in there, and maybe consider that people might surprise you when you least expect it... just some food for thought!!!