why am i ugly?

So I've stumbled across an old high school photo of myself recently, and it dredged up a lot of mixed emotions. Looking back at that awkward kid with hair that seemed impossible to tame and braces glimmering in the fluorescent light, it's surprising how much those insecurities still cling to me today, despite everything that's changed since then. Fast forward to now, and you'd think personal achievements or learned self-confidence would've smoothed out those jagged edges of self-perception. Yet here I am, flicking through old shaky selfies and current polished shots alike, wondering why I'm still tangled up in the belief that I'm somehow not good-looking enough by some unspoken standard.

It's baffling how even after ticking off boxes on life's many checklists (graduating college, getting a decent job that satisfies both my wallet and passion projects ) that nagging voice doesn't seem to fade. Intellectually, I know these external accomplishments should validate me beyond mere appearances, but feelings don't always align with logic... they rarely do. Maybe it's the pervasive beauty culture whispering its distorted ideals constantly or just remnants of teenage angst lodged deep inside my psyche. Either way, they fuel this relentless echo calling me 'ugly,' continuously casting shadows over momentary bursts of confidence. So here I question if the shackles of these past judgments will ever loosen their grip on me.

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