Life Coach Issues Stories

Is it normal to just have siblings who you can’t run to? For years, I’ve relived my mom and grandmother’s funerals. It pains me that God took away all the people that truly showed up for me. I don’t know how to get over this loss and my life isn’t getting better. I thought I’d finish school just to get a better job but Surely maybe I was born to not have anything. I can’t seem to get used to a life filled with delay. I hate everything about myself. There’s nothing valuable about me or my life. How does one take away their pain? What’s the easiest way to ease it? I have been trying but no luck. I just want someone to give me a solution to everything

I just wish there was a way of dealing with delay, grief and unemployment other than committing suicide. I’ve spent the last 5 years being suicidal. I can’t even get a proper job and still didn’t get anywhere in life. All I am is living by the day, depressed, unemployed and everything in my life seems to be going wrong. Whatever I have been trying to get me somewhere, I failed terribly. Not I don’t know how to go on?

For years I've always been... "different"

The tallest girl in class, the biggest girl in the room, the darkest girl in school, the girl with the deepest voice, the girl with a fiery temper, etc. Ive never found myself fitting into one mould or having someone that I can totally relate to. Even now I find myself lost as the only person in my circle of friends that does not want to uptake medicine or STEM subjects in general. It's always me... I feel like I'm cursed to always be the "odd one out" I feel inferior to others. Like as if I don't matter or I'll never be good enough because I'm not like "them". I'm not pretty, I'm not as smart, not as ambitious or studious, not as gifted. I'm just me but here's the case... what do I even have to offer to the table? Who am I even? What am I? What was I made for... what was I made to do. What does my future even look like... All these questions and yet I'm met with no answer. Just doubts piling on my brain like a bunch of incomplete assignments. Am I even worth it as a person?

idk wht category to choose for this

I am the 2nd youngest in a family of 6 siblings. ik i can be somewhat clumsy and forgetfull. but that doesn't make it okay for my mother to predetermine my future. i have things i like. coding, architecture, arts, musics, throw me whatever i like, i will somehow able to cram and learn. but hello???? why you're forcing me to take artificial intelligence course like ur life depended on it???? i mean, there's a lot whole of other things that i can willingly pursue?? in fact, i also excell and honestly love chemistry and physics. sure sure ai will prevail in the future etc. but i swear to god, i have wide range of interest and you gotta force me to take something out of that range????? this is a silly story honestly. but still the way my mom talk stressed me??? also the fact that she started to talk shit bout my school??? you see, i am kinda admitted into a gifted school that measures ur iq etc etc. and she's saying like "oh you're not gifted, in fact, the students in ur school are mentally unstable. that's why you're blablabla because you're exposed to them" YE I KNOW. but why you gotta phrase it like that? it pisses me off so bad bcuz some of my friends, no honestly, most of my friends have adhd, polar etc etc mental unstability. in all honesty, they're all very good friends. its just that they have radical thoughts and way of thinking. but they truly make me learn goddamn lot of things. i love them. so don't shittalk them on my face!!!!! gaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

aight thats all from me :)

They say

You can heal

You will heal

What is the meaning of a scar

It never goes away

Truth is we never heal

We just turn what we're going through into a scar

And all our life we will attract broken

Things and find peace in them

Because we are going through the same thing

Learn to be in pain

Appreciate it

I am going through something ryt now

My clothes are stolen

All these emotions came flowing into my life 😪

Yeah

At the end of the day I know life is not about being happy at all times

But the question is

why me ??

That's the question

Okay fine

You had to go through it in life

It just concludes that we came her to suffer

if I say I don't deserve this

Who do I think deserved it

But I have been going through a lot tlhe already

I am tired 😫

Noo

Look at the good things too

Yeah

They are good cause they came after I struggled

My first bond with my mom came after I thought she didn't care about me

I am in tertiary

That's cause I had to read for it

Okay God was around paving the way

And I want him to continue 😢

I need him 😩 to keep me strong

Cause at this point

Now I know I have to go through bad things

I have to feel I am not worth it

I have to grow up without a father,

I have to not trust men

For the rest of my life

I have to believe I don't deserve

Cause when it comes

I feel I can't be too happy

I mean I am used to feeling all this

It feels weird when things go smoothly

I am not complaining or anything 😏

I just wanna acknowledge that

It had to be me

If not me

Then who

It's life

That's why I am listening to sad songs now acknowledging the fact that I am hurt and there's nothing I can do about it 💔 😔

Is it wrong to be happy??

Tell me an incident which makes you believe in god

I keep on taking nonstop wrong decisions even though at the time of taking them I don't realise the potential cons everytime. Some decisions I surely know that were wrong and some I am confuse that whether it was right or wrong. But I am never make decisions which are absolutely right for me ( or so I think).

I get anxiety attacks due to this.

At this point I think I should take any decision that I think are right, and out of say 3 decisions, if atleast 1 is right then I would be satisfied.

what makes being too good or being too evil a bad thing?

i had a therapist for 5 years who last year was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. initially they said it was really abnormal and slow growing and they were confident they could perform a whipple and chemo and hed be saved. 2 months later post whipple the cancer had spread to his liver and he was diagnosed terminal.

all of this was devastating of course, im familiar with his family, something we bonded over was our children and how similar we were as parents and the way we cared about people. watching him be torn away from his 2 young girls is so awful and i feel so deeply for his partner.

2 weeks ago i had sent a regrettable message raising the awkwardness of the time we met because i was completely emotional and i didnt want him to think i was falling apart without him, because despite devastation 5 years of therapy gave me some great tools to accept emotions as they come no matter how large or overwhelming.

this message was something that stressed him out and his partner then stepped in and said she would be a communication bridge. happy for that i obliged only asking once to apologise realising the mistake id made. she had told me as he deteriorated i would be invited to say goodbye, and in the interim she would reassess whether me and said therapist could reestablish contact. given that now that i could recognise that i asked her whether it would be okay to message him some more, she said no as he was in hospital and i replied that was okay but i was more meaning in general as this is not how i wanted to remember him. i was happy to leave is as he was recovering and needed rest. i made a comment in reference to her recognising how hard it must be not having contact by saying yeah i dont know any other relationship where not only am i not allowed to visit but not even talk to someone whos dying. somewhere in the message sent she replied saying that the relationship was to be terminated as the ethical boundaries are clear in that once he stopped being my therapist our relationship ended. she stated they had tried to be accomodating of my needs but how i wasnt able to be appropriately boundaried and that i am no longer ever be able to contact my therapist again.

not only had she said about a reassessment of boundaries but my therapist the last time i saw him told me that was likely not going to be the last time i saw him, she has also stated about me seeing him when he was close to the end for closure. the level of betrayal here is massive. i feel lied to, disrespected and above all else heartbroken i may never get to say goodbye to my therapist. he hasnt contacted me either.

it not just this that infuriates me. for the last 5 years i have been in almost a constant communication with my therapist. i was lucky enough to message him day to day to establish rapport and safety and a sense of trust i do not hold in alot of people from childhood as most adults did not care to care. as an adult now with my own kids i struggle to see how anyone could treat their kids that way and still struggle with closeness with other adults as i constantly think theyre going to leave.. ironic.

i have had multiple letters from my therapist every time he went away to bridge any abandonment feelings as most times he had holidays it was around key events of trauma. he has continuously told me i am worthwhile, how much he cares about me, offered hugs (sensory regulation) and sessions like walks in the local park to ease the feelings that came up with being in rooms.

ethics dont begin to cover the gray areas he stretched to help me heal and throughout this by no means have i felt like he did anything wrong as i truly felt a sense of safety and ease and like i could manage without him because he believed in me.

that was up until his partner messaged me. we are 2 months after his terminal diagnosis, and after research the 2 year wait of ethics is technically in a gray area because he is dying. its a bit late to pull the ethics card.

now i know likely all of her message is because she is struggling to let go too of her partner, as would i be. i hold such a great compassion for her situation right now and of think about her very fondly.

this however has been handled so poorly. there have been constant moving expectations, and boundaries and i feel as though over the years i have put up with many instances where maybe as a client i shouldnt have had to. (a medical proffesional telling me once that its completely innapropriate the expectations that have been out on me.) all because i pushed to have it mimic a real relationship so i could learn how to navigate.

i have cried so much these past few months and before the terminal diagnosis was considering leaving therapy as i felt hugely capable without him.

this is such an abrupt was to end this half decade of my life trusting this man who in his dying days seems not to give a shit. or is maybe just running with his partners mistake in support. im not sure. but this is so devastating to have it end like this. its such an awful memory of him and now a shame because everywhere reminds me of him because of his involvement in my life. im sure later on this will be lovely but right now its painful. there was no goodbye.

its crazy to me because there was one time we had a fight because i said i cared more about him and he was going to reply, later told me,that i didnt know that so i couldnt say that to him.

this whole thing is fucked i know. but not even a goodbye after 5 years. like that is so shit. just so sad. its all so unfair.

if i was your daughter, what would you say so that she doesn't keep on thinking of self-harming more than she has so far and give up on life? i'm starving for someone's love and it doesn't matter if i sound overly desperate anymore. pls?

My intelligence is in decline, and it shows through my dropping grades and my sudden inability to form a single thread of rational/coherent thought, nonetheless converse properly with others. This might have been because I withdrew myself for the past few years, isolating myself from all social contact like a fool because I couldn't handle relationships anymore and pitied myself for being part of a broken home---it might've been because all the pain I felt back then messed up my brain.

I can't think clearly anymore, and my head feels stuffy all day every day; it doesn't stop. I've said so many hurtful things to this girl I recently came to care about, because I didn't realize what I was saying as my brain short-circuited every second and automatically rushed to the first (and often inappropriate) thing that came to mind. I'm so frustrated with myself right now. Before my withdrawal I used recognize and manage people's emotions really well and be able to navigate my interactions with others with a degree of emotional intelligence; now I'm simply an airhead who's too stuck up in the clouds to concentrate on her words.

I also used to excel in school and was basically the "smart kid" in class. Now I've built up a reputation of holding her head in front of the whole class, crying, "I'm sorry; my brain is short-circuiting"; stupidly staring at her textbook with a blank stare when the teacher asked her to answer a question about what we read; and responding to "What American history topic do you want to write a poem on?" with "Bloody Mary."

I went to a doctor last November in search of answers, and it was confirmed that I had an iron deficiency (but not anemic yet). I took pills regularly afterwards, but even now that my iron levels are in normal range, I still experience brain fog. I told my doctor about this, and it just seems everything points to a mental problem. Yet I can't check with a psychologist because of circumstances that can't be helped. I can't do this anymore. I feel like an utter failure and feel so alone right now.

Claiming someone else’s work isn’t just unfair—it’s deeply indoctrinated in our society as morally wrong. Whether it’s copyright infringement, theft, plagiarism, or cultural appropriation, taking credit for something that isn’t yours is something everyone has confronted. But why are parents excluded from the equation? Why do they violate the very first rule they teach into their children?

I owe a lot to my parents; not just for clothes, food, and education, but also the opportunities they’ve given me. There’s much to appreciate, and even more to give back. All my life, they’ve given me the resources I needed to thrive. A prominent example is school. I was privileged enough to be driven in bad weather, and to own a bike on sunny days. My desk was always fully stocked with calculators, notebooks, and computers, granting me access to a limitless world of knowledge. I owed them all my happiness, success, and achievements. Until now.

A single Google search on one unparticular afternoon shattered the illusion I had lived in for a decade. “Tiger Parenting”, coined by Amy Chua (an American author and law professor), prioritizes the academic performance of a child over anything else. As I scrolled down the article, puzzle pieces that seemed to fit teared themselves apart and rearranged themselves into a grotesque, rancid truth.

Suddenly, all the words and phrases and speeches my parents gave had a new meaning. I didn’t own my life. They did.

Here are a few examples:

School.

I’m high achiever at school. That’s something I can state confidently and without doubt. My short-term memory was close to photographic, and I could spell Erlenmeyer without having a stroke.

The grade was 73%. On that Tuesday, I had written a narrative essay and had an upcoming biology test (which I received 100% on). The quiz was on quadratics—something I could do in my sleep with one left hand. Yet when I received the results, the entire second page was bleeding with red ink.

My parents were outraged, to say the least. Mind you, this was the beginning of the second semester, and the second quiz we’ve had (the first being a review). Last semester, my average was an unweighted 98%. But my parents were having none of it. Bad day? Just an excuse. You are unworthy of college, and don’t even think about university. You’re going to end up homeless like those kids who vape at your school.

No joke. This is the direct translation from Chinese-English to full English. It didn’t matter what I said. The message was repeated for two hours. It discussed everything from carelessness to selfishness to lack of responsibility to lack of time management to stupidity to my future to other classmates. The purpose was clear: degrade me into never thinking about below a 95% ever again.

Robotics.

I participated in the FIRST Robotics Competition, an unforgettable experience that inspires students through competitive robotics, emphasizing teamwork, innovation, and real-world engineering skills. One of its most prestigious honors is the Dean’s List, awarded to ten individuals who demonstrate outstanding dedication to FIRST. I was nominated as a Dean’s List semi-finalist for my commitment and leadership within my team.

I earned this recognition on my own. My parents weren’t involved—I applied myself, wrote my own essays, and highlighted my own achievements. To advance to the finalist stage, I was required to complete an interview at an upcoming event about two months later.

Somehow, through a connection (probably another parent), my own folks heard about my nomination. And suddenly, it felt like they were the ones preparing for the interview. Every evening, I was pressured—forced to answer practice questions, take notes, and rehearse over and over again. Whenever I pushed back, things escalated.

"Write it, or you’re not going out with friends tomorrow."

"Prepare for it. Your grades aren’t enough, and this is something you need to succeed in life."

"You need to stand out from your classmates.”

"Why don’t you rehearse during your school lunch break? You don’t need the break anyways.”

It all had the same message: if you don’t prepare for this interview, you’re not worth anything to me or anyone else.

I hated the pressure. My reasoning was simple and clear: I found this opportunity myself, and I’m going to prepare for it myself. I’m not doing this interview for you—I’m doing it for me. So, I don’t need to prepare on your schedule or drop everything to do it.

And then came the counterarguments:

"If I hadn’t driven you to robotics every Saturday, you wouldn’t have had the opportunity in the first place."

"If I hadn’t paid for your lessons, you wouldn’t have had anything to write on your application."

“If I didn’t drive you to school every day, you wouldn’t have had good marks to brag about.”

Again, the message was the same: You owe me this, and you’re going to do it my way.

That’s not the end. At our first event, I was nominated as Safety Captain, responsible for promoting a safe working environment in the venue. I did not mention this to my parents. There was one award at stake—The Safety All-Star. It may have seemed small and insignificant, but the idea of having one thing that I could truly call my own, something I had earned through my own effort, was tantalizing.

Through my own hard work—hand-drawn safety signs, networking, and carefully prepared responses to interviews from the safety managers—the moment when my name was announced was nothing short of unbelievable. My cheeks ached from the grin that stretched across my face, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled so widely, so genuinely. At last, I had earned something all on my own.

But a few days later, as we drove home, that sense of accomplishment quickly deflated. Through another parent, my mom had heard about the award and, once again, tried to take the significance from me.

“If I hadn’t driven you to those lifeguarding lessons, you wouldn’t have been able to demonstrate those skills and win.”

“Without me signing the consent form, you wouldn’t have gone in the first place.”

“It’s only because I paid for your art classes that you could’ve made those signs so well.”

Again, the same message: You’re only worth who you are because of me.

Conclusion.

So, this is my haunting question. If everything I accomplish—achieve, contribute, design, make, write, or win—belongs to my parents and was only possible through them, what is my own life worth? If I don’t own anything, even my own life, then who am I?

This is not the first existential crisis I’ve had, yet every time I’m able to answer what the meaning of my life is: I’m going to make an impact on this world, whether I like it or not, so I’m going to make it better than it was a minute ago.

But this time was different.

What are you supposed to do when your own meaning of life is stripped away from you, by the ones who supposedly love you the most?

I’m struggling a lot with life I think, and finding myself thinking or fantasizing what the world would be like without me in it which I’m really worried about. It started in Nov of 2023, when I got this certification for my field of work. I felt really proud of myself as it was a really big deal, and thought that things would only go up from there. Fast forward a couple of months, me and my ex, my first really serious relationship, split up. Without going into too much detail, we both had issues with the other person, both did crappy things (probably moreso me), and knew it wasn’t healthy to continue. We agreed to still live together as roommates, as neither of us can afford to really live on our own, and felt we were still friends at the end of it all. At first I think I just suppressed it, tried distracting myself with activities, work, playing games with online friends, etc. I didn’t start realizing how I really felt until about 5 months later, when I just kinda realized I wasn’t over her. I told her how I felt and she agreed to work on it but that it was going to take some serious time. Over the next few months I tried working it out and fixing things, albeit going about it the wrong way and lovebombing, becoming exhausted and putting me in a really bad spot mentally. She text me one day when I was at work saying she couldn’t reignite feelings and she didn’t want to continue trying, and that I should’ve figured myself out sooner (but also not? idk I still can’t wrap my head around that one). To her credit she would come check in on me at first, and I guess I missed the hint as I had been under the impression that she wanted nothing to do with me relationship wise ever again. I felt crushed I think, and in a way led on but I knew that really wasn’t her fault. I told her I also didn’t have feelings anymore being a lie, moreso I just don’t want to have feelings anymore. Since then I’ve been in a limbo, it’s felt downhill ever since. On top of all of this going on, work was really demanding over the last year as my supervisor was absent for maybe a collective quarter of the year to the point that I couldn’t remember the last time he worked a full work week consecutively (which is uncommon in my field), which mentally and physically drained me even more. My online friends also turned out to not be who I thought they were, and started talking to them less and less. I tried therapy for awhile, but that wasn’t really working. Fast forward to now, I’m constantly in a deep depression. Hearing her laugh in her room playing games with friends and knowing she now has a boyfriend is almost like a constant punch in the gut. I’m getting back into my hobbies which is helping a little bit, but like i’d mentioned I still think about the world without me in it, and even though I think about something else almost immediately, I’m thinking about it more and more lately. I know I need to get out of this house, but I don’t know where to go, plus for better or worse I still care about her and don’t want her to struggle finding a place either. I feel trapped and alone I think. Sorry for the long post, been holding onto this one for awhile.

So, I was dating my ex, and my ex bsf told my ex I was cheating on him (I wasn’t and she had no proof she was genuinely mad that I had a very healthy relationship.) and when she tired saying that she was “only trying to help and protect my relationship with a tuff conversation.” But then she chose my ex boyfriend over me, and I put my foot down because he was super toxic and also mentally abused me and used me, so I dropped her. She knows this all so I’m not sure why she dated him, but he didn’t like her (me and him worked things out and are now friends and chill with each other) so I helped him break up with her because why not? She wasn’t my friend anymore so no point. After I broke them up she was only after me. Told my mom I still was okay with my ex, told my mom that I had a boyfriend (she didn’t know because I didn’t think I should’ve told her yet so I didn’t) and she made my life a living hell. She bullied me, said things about me, even told everyone I was a whore and would do anything to get male attention (which she can’t talk, she dated a 53yr man and she stayed with him for months till I told her mom.) I didn’t go to school for weeks because I was so depressed that I couldn’t even get out of bed. But now I’ve gotten revenge. She started smoking, copying my style, and even ended up dyeing her hair the SAME color as mine. Before all of this she never even wore make up, she was trying to one up me. So, I told the school she was selling weed in the girls bathroom (She was dont worry) and I watched officers search her house and so did her mom for the weed. They found a LOT of weed. Almost 2 pounds, i was outside her house with the biggest smile I’ve ever had. And now, she’s been posing as me online and when I got a email (weird social. But ok) from HER boyfriend asking me out and if I’d get with him so ofc me being a decent person, I told my ex bsf about it. She then went around saying I went after her boyfriend and that I stole him from her, which I ended up doing because if she’s gonna say stuff it might as well become true. I then told the school she was bullying me and saying all of this stuff, she even body shamed me, (I’m 155 and she’s like 109, I’m at a healthy weight. She is not (she’s younger than 15 so she’s extremely underweight and she’s always been really insecure about it)) they didn’t do anything. But now she’s begging me almost everyday to be my friend again. (Everyone’s dropping her because she’s always playing the victim and now she’s spreading things about other people as well so their dropping her. She now only has one friend who doesn’t like her but is putting up with her.) they obviously didn’t do anything and so I gave up. She’s still begging for me to be her friend and she’s even tried giving me gifts and money just a bunch of stuff and every time i drop it on the floor, making her pick it up telling her to stop giving me things.