Life Coach Issues Stories

Tell me an incident which makes you believe in god

I keep on taking nonstop wrong decisions even though at the time of taking them I don't realise the potential cons everytime. Some decisions I surely know that were wrong and some I am confuse that whether it was right or wrong. But I am never make decisions which are absolutely right for me ( or so I think).

I get anxiety attacks due to this.

At this point I think I should take any decision that I think are right, and out of say 3 decisions, if atleast 1 is right then I would be satisfied.

what makes being too good or being too evil a bad thing?

i had a therapist for 5 years who last year was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. initially they said it was really abnormal and slow growing and they were confident they could perform a whipple and chemo and hed be saved. 2 months later post whipple the cancer had spread to his liver and he was diagnosed terminal.

all of this was devastating of course, im familiar with his family, something we bonded over was our children and how similar we were as parents and the way we cared about people. watching him be torn away from his 2 young girls is so awful and i feel so deeply for his partner.

2 weeks ago i had sent a regrettable message raising the awkwardness of the time we met because i was completely emotional and i didnt want him to think i was falling apart without him, because despite devastation 5 years of therapy gave me some great tools to accept emotions as they come no matter how large or overwhelming.

this message was something that stressed him out and his partner then stepped in and said she would be a communication bridge. happy for that i obliged only asking once to apologise realising the mistake id made. she had told me as he deteriorated i would be invited to say goodbye, and in the interim she would reassess whether me and said therapist could reestablish contact. given that now that i could recognise that i asked her whether it would be okay to message him some more, she said no as he was in hospital and i replied that was okay but i was more meaning in general as this is not how i wanted to remember him. i was happy to leave is as he was recovering and needed rest. i made a comment in reference to her recognising how hard it must be not having contact by saying yeah i dont know any other relationship where not only am i not allowed to visit but not even talk to someone whos dying. somewhere in the message sent she replied saying that the relationship was to be terminated as the ethical boundaries are clear in that once he stopped being my therapist our relationship ended. she stated they had tried to be accomodating of my needs but how i wasnt able to be appropriately boundaried and that i am no longer ever be able to contact my therapist again.

not only had she said about a reassessment of boundaries but my therapist the last time i saw him told me that was likely not going to be the last time i saw him, she has also stated about me seeing him when he was close to the end for closure. the level of betrayal here is massive. i feel lied to, disrespected and above all else heartbroken i may never get to say goodbye to my therapist. he hasnt contacted me either.

it not just this that infuriates me. for the last 5 years i have been in almost a constant communication with my therapist. i was lucky enough to message him day to day to establish rapport and safety and a sense of trust i do not hold in alot of people from childhood as most adults did not care to care. as an adult now with my own kids i struggle to see how anyone could treat their kids that way and still struggle with closeness with other adults as i constantly think theyre going to leave.. ironic.

i have had multiple letters from my therapist every time he went away to bridge any abandonment feelings as most times he had holidays it was around key events of trauma. he has continuously told me i am worthwhile, how much he cares about me, offered hugs (sensory regulation) and sessions like walks in the local park to ease the feelings that came up with being in rooms.

ethics dont begin to cover the gray areas he stretched to help me heal and throughout this by no means have i felt like he did anything wrong as i truly felt a sense of safety and ease and like i could manage without him because he believed in me.

that was up until his partner messaged me. we are 2 months after his terminal diagnosis, and after research the 2 year wait of ethics is technically in a gray area because he is dying. its a bit late to pull the ethics card.

now i know likely all of her message is because she is struggling to let go too of her partner, as would i be. i hold such a great compassion for her situation right now and of think about her very fondly.

this however has been handled so poorly. there have been constant moving expectations, and boundaries and i feel as though over the years i have put up with many instances where maybe as a client i shouldnt have had to. (a medical proffesional telling me once that its completely innapropriate the expectations that have been out on me.) all because i pushed to have it mimic a real relationship so i could learn how to navigate.

i have cried so much these past few months and before the terminal diagnosis was considering leaving therapy as i felt hugely capable without him.

this is such an abrupt was to end this half decade of my life trusting this man who in his dying days seems not to give a shit. or is maybe just running with his partners mistake in support. im not sure. but this is so devastating to have it end like this. its such an awful memory of him and now a shame because everywhere reminds me of him because of his involvement in my life. im sure later on this will be lovely but right now its painful. there was no goodbye.

its crazy to me because there was one time we had a fight because i said i cared more about him and he was going to reply, later told me,that i didnt know that so i couldnt say that to him.

this whole thing is fucked i know. but not even a goodbye after 5 years. like that is so shit. just so sad. its all so unfair.

if i was your daughter, what would you say so that she doesn't keep on thinking of self-harming more than she has so far and give up on life? i'm starving for someone's love and it doesn't matter if i sound overly desperate anymore. pls?

My intelligence is in decline, and it shows through my dropping grades and my sudden inability to form a single thread of rational/coherent thought, nonetheless converse properly with others. This might have been because I withdrew myself for the past few years, isolating myself from all social contact like a fool because I couldn't handle relationships anymore and pitied myself for being part of a broken home---it might've been because all the pain I felt back then messed up my brain.

I can't think clearly anymore, and my head feels stuffy all day every day; it doesn't stop. I've said so many hurtful things to this girl I recently came to care about, because I didn't realize what I was saying as my brain short-circuited every second and automatically rushed to the first (and often inappropriate) thing that came to mind. I'm so frustrated with myself right now. Before my withdrawal I used recognize and manage people's emotions really well and be able to navigate my interactions with others with a degree of emotional intelligence; now I'm simply an airhead who's too stuck up in the clouds to concentrate on her words.

I also used to excel in school and was basically the "smart kid" in class. Now I've built up a reputation of holding her head in front of the whole class, crying, "I'm sorry; my brain is short-circuiting"; stupidly staring at her textbook with a blank stare when the teacher asked her to answer a question about what we read; and responding to "What American history topic do you want to write a poem on?" with "Bloody Mary."

I went to a doctor last November in search of answers, and it was confirmed that I had an iron deficiency (but not anemic yet). I took pills regularly afterwards, but even now that my iron levels are in normal range, I still experience brain fog. I told my doctor about this, and it just seems everything points to a mental problem. Yet I can't check with a psychologist because of circumstances that can't be helped. I can't do this anymore. I feel like an utter failure and feel so alone right now.

Claiming someone else’s work isn’t just unfair—it’s deeply indoctrinated in our society as morally wrong. Whether it’s copyright infringement, theft, plagiarism, or cultural appropriation, taking credit for something that isn’t yours is something everyone has confronted. But why are parents excluded from the equation? Why do they violate the very first rule they teach into their children?

I owe a lot to my parents; not just for clothes, food, and education, but also the opportunities they’ve given me. There’s much to appreciate, and even more to give back. All my life, they’ve given me the resources I needed to thrive. A prominent example is school. I was privileged enough to be driven in bad weather, and to own a bike on sunny days. My desk was always fully stocked with calculators, notebooks, and computers, granting me access to a limitless world of knowledge. I owed them all my happiness, success, and achievements. Until now.

A single Google search on one unparticular afternoon shattered the illusion I had lived in for a decade. “Tiger Parenting”, coined by Amy Chua (an American author and law professor), prioritizes the academic performance of a child over anything else. As I scrolled down the article, puzzle pieces that seemed to fit teared themselves apart and rearranged themselves into a grotesque, rancid truth.

Suddenly, all the words and phrases and speeches my parents gave had a new meaning. I didn’t own my life. They did.

Here are a few examples:

School.

I’m high achiever at school. That’s something I can state confidently and without doubt. My short-term memory was close to photographic, and I could spell Erlenmeyer without having a stroke.

The grade was 73%. On that Tuesday, I had written a narrative essay and had an upcoming biology test (which I received 100% on). The quiz was on quadratics—something I could do in my sleep with one left hand. Yet when I received the results, the entire second page was bleeding with red ink.

My parents were outraged, to say the least. Mind you, this was the beginning of the second semester, and the second quiz we’ve had (the first being a review). Last semester, my average was an unweighted 98%. But my parents were having none of it. Bad day? Just an excuse. You are unworthy of college, and don’t even think about university. You’re going to end up homeless like those kids who vape at your school.

No joke. This is the direct translation from Chinese-English to full English. It didn’t matter what I said. The message was repeated for two hours. It discussed everything from carelessness to selfishness to lack of responsibility to lack of time management to stupidity to my future to other classmates. The purpose was clear: degrade me into never thinking about below a 95% ever again.

Robotics.

I participated in the FIRST Robotics Competition, an unforgettable experience that inspires students through competitive robotics, emphasizing teamwork, innovation, and real-world engineering skills. One of its most prestigious honors is the Dean’s List, awarded to ten individuals who demonstrate outstanding dedication to FIRST. I was nominated as a Dean’s List semi-finalist for my commitment and leadership within my team.

I earned this recognition on my own. My parents weren’t involved—I applied myself, wrote my own essays, and highlighted my own achievements. To advance to the finalist stage, I was required to complete an interview at an upcoming event about two months later.

Somehow, through a connection (probably another parent), my own folks heard about my nomination. And suddenly, it felt like they were the ones preparing for the interview. Every evening, I was pressured—forced to answer practice questions, take notes, and rehearse over and over again. Whenever I pushed back, things escalated.

"Write it, or you’re not going out with friends tomorrow."

"Prepare for it. Your grades aren’t enough, and this is something you need to succeed in life."

"You need to stand out from your classmates.”

"Why don’t you rehearse during your school lunch break? You don’t need the break anyways.”

It all had the same message: if you don’t prepare for this interview, you’re not worth anything to me or anyone else.

I hated the pressure. My reasoning was simple and clear: I found this opportunity myself, and I’m going to prepare for it myself. I’m not doing this interview for you—I’m doing it for me. So, I don’t need to prepare on your schedule or drop everything to do it.

And then came the counterarguments:

"If I hadn’t driven you to robotics every Saturday, you wouldn’t have had the opportunity in the first place."

"If I hadn’t paid for your lessons, you wouldn’t have had anything to write on your application."

“If I didn’t drive you to school every day, you wouldn’t have had good marks to brag about.”

Again, the message was the same: You owe me this, and you’re going to do it my way.

That’s not the end. At our first event, I was nominated as Safety Captain, responsible for promoting a safe working environment in the venue. I did not mention this to my parents. There was one award at stake—The Safety All-Star. It may have seemed small and insignificant, but the idea of having one thing that I could truly call my own, something I had earned through my own effort, was tantalizing.

Through my own hard work—hand-drawn safety signs, networking, and carefully prepared responses to interviews from the safety managers—the moment when my name was announced was nothing short of unbelievable. My cheeks ached from the grin that stretched across my face, and I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled so widely, so genuinely. At last, I had earned something all on my own.

But a few days later, as we drove home, that sense of accomplishment quickly deflated. Through another parent, my mom had heard about the award and, once again, tried to take the significance from me.

“If I hadn’t driven you to those lifeguarding lessons, you wouldn’t have been able to demonstrate those skills and win.”

“Without me signing the consent form, you wouldn’t have gone in the first place.”

“It’s only because I paid for your art classes that you could’ve made those signs so well.”

Again, the same message: You’re only worth who you are because of me.

Conclusion.

So, this is my haunting question. If everything I accomplish—achieve, contribute, design, make, write, or win—belongs to my parents and was only possible through them, what is my own life worth? If I don’t own anything, even my own life, then who am I?

This is not the first existential crisis I’ve had, yet every time I’m able to answer what the meaning of my life is: I’m going to make an impact on this world, whether I like it or not, so I’m going to make it better than it was a minute ago.

But this time was different.

What are you supposed to do when your own meaning of life is stripped away from you, by the ones who supposedly love you the most?

I’m struggling a lot with life I think, and finding myself thinking or fantasizing what the world would be like without me in it which I’m really worried about. It started in Nov of 2023, when I got this certification for my field of work. I felt really proud of myself as it was a really big deal, and thought that things would only go up from there. Fast forward a couple of months, me and my ex, my first really serious relationship, split up. Without going into too much detail, we both had issues with the other person, both did crappy things (probably moreso me), and knew it wasn’t healthy to continue. We agreed to still live together as roommates, as neither of us can afford to really live on our own, and felt we were still friends at the end of it all. At first I think I just suppressed it, tried distracting myself with activities, work, playing games with online friends, etc. I didn’t start realizing how I really felt until about 5 months later, when I just kinda realized I wasn’t over her. I told her how I felt and she agreed to work on it but that it was going to take some serious time. Over the next few months I tried working it out and fixing things, albeit going about it the wrong way and lovebombing, becoming exhausted and putting me in a really bad spot mentally. She text me one day when I was at work saying she couldn’t reignite feelings and she didn’t want to continue trying, and that I should’ve figured myself out sooner (but also not? idk I still can’t wrap my head around that one). To her credit she would come check in on me at first, and I guess I missed the hint as I had been under the impression that she wanted nothing to do with me relationship wise ever again. I felt crushed I think, and in a way led on but I knew that really wasn’t her fault. I told her I also didn’t have feelings anymore being a lie, moreso I just don’t want to have feelings anymore. Since then I’ve been in a limbo, it’s felt downhill ever since. On top of all of this going on, work was really demanding over the last year as my supervisor was absent for maybe a collective quarter of the year to the point that I couldn’t remember the last time he worked a full work week consecutively (which is uncommon in my field), which mentally and physically drained me even more. My online friends also turned out to not be who I thought they were, and started talking to them less and less. I tried therapy for awhile, but that wasn’t really working. Fast forward to now, I’m constantly in a deep depression. Hearing her laugh in her room playing games with friends and knowing she now has a boyfriend is almost like a constant punch in the gut. I’m getting back into my hobbies which is helping a little bit, but like i’d mentioned I still think about the world without me in it, and even though I think about something else almost immediately, I’m thinking about it more and more lately. I know I need to get out of this house, but I don’t know where to go, plus for better or worse I still care about her and don’t want her to struggle finding a place either. I feel trapped and alone I think. Sorry for the long post, been holding onto this one for awhile.

So, I was dating my ex, and my ex bsf told my ex I was cheating on him (I wasn’t and she had no proof she was genuinely mad that I had a very healthy relationship.) and when she tired saying that she was “only trying to help and protect my relationship with a tuff conversation.” But then she chose my ex boyfriend over me, and I put my foot down because he was super toxic and also mentally abused me and used me, so I dropped her. She knows this all so I’m not sure why she dated him, but he didn’t like her (me and him worked things out and are now friends and chill with each other) so I helped him break up with her because why not? She wasn’t my friend anymore so no point. After I broke them up she was only after me. Told my mom I still was okay with my ex, told my mom that I had a boyfriend (she didn’t know because I didn’t think I should’ve told her yet so I didn’t) and she made my life a living hell. She bullied me, said things about me, even told everyone I was a whore and would do anything to get male attention (which she can’t talk, she dated a 53yr man and she stayed with him for months till I told her mom.) I didn’t go to school for weeks because I was so depressed that I couldn’t even get out of bed. But now I’ve gotten revenge. She started smoking, copying my style, and even ended up dyeing her hair the SAME color as mine. Before all of this she never even wore make up, she was trying to one up me. So, I told the school she was selling weed in the girls bathroom (She was dont worry) and I watched officers search her house and so did her mom for the weed. They found a LOT of weed. Almost 2 pounds, i was outside her house with the biggest smile I’ve ever had. And now, she’s been posing as me online and when I got a email (weird social. But ok) from HER boyfriend asking me out and if I’d get with him so ofc me being a decent person, I told my ex bsf about it. She then went around saying I went after her boyfriend and that I stole him from her, which I ended up doing because if she’s gonna say stuff it might as well become true. I then told the school she was bullying me and saying all of this stuff, she even body shamed me, (I’m 155 and she’s like 109, I’m at a healthy weight. She is not (she’s younger than 15 so she’s extremely underweight and she’s always been really insecure about it)) they didn’t do anything. But now she’s begging me almost everyday to be my friend again. (Everyone’s dropping her because she’s always playing the victim and now she’s spreading things about other people as well so their dropping her. She now only has one friend who doesn’t like her but is putting up with her.) they obviously didn’t do anything and so I gave up. She’s still begging for me to be her friend and she’s even tried giving me gifts and money just a bunch of stuff and every time i drop it on the floor, making her pick it up telling her to stop giving me things.

okayy so I was preparing for this competitive exam , JEE. yesterday the results were announced right. and its fine. i got what i expected. it wasnt an extraordinary result but i was prepared for this. or so i thought. yk i really thought nothing would bother me, cause i honestly didnt give a fuck about this. so it was fine ,i talked to some friends as well. and the i looked at someone's story. he posted hi result cause it was quite nice. what took me by shock was that this guy, and i swear he's the worst person i've met in my entire life, this complete idiot who i didnt even know was appearing for this exam scored way better than me? when i gave about two years to this, and he...actually i dont know if we was preparing for this but he probably was.....but how COULD HE EVER SCORE BETTER THAN ME? anyonessssssss's result i can believe , but this guy? nooooo wayyyyy. my chest started to hurt, it was that bad. AND bdw we sorta dated a few years back it was an on and off thing, really messed up but the one thing i had an upper hand in was this! studying scoring good blah blah blah being smart in general yk? and this guy was your typical school dumb playboy who was extraordinarily ,well an idiot. THIS IS NOT FAIR. i almost dont believe his result. i have been thinking maybe he cheated or edited his result or something but idk. he seems to lazy for that kinda effort. anyways this is definitely not me being a bitch and thinking that people cannot have an academic comeback. no this is really not that. i strongly believe anyone can score good in any exam with enough effort, BUT this person attended every concert in our state , he was always out , he was always wasting his time like hell, ad tbh he realllyyy wasnt someone who could pull this off. and bdw total loser and cheater , in life and as a bf. but thats besides the point. well if he really put in the effort than, props to him ig? but i made me go into a spiral. i have not been this unhappy in a long time i hae not felt such immense hatred for anyone, and my god i could just...idk. i am trying to deal with this and i am telling myself i can always do better in my umcoming tests, but this has made me question everything? am i so dumb that i couldnt eeven ace a test that a random below avg student aced without even trying? IDK man . idk.

I have major mental health and anger issues! I’ve tried to seek help online and people always try to patronise me and fix me until things get difficult and negative or “toxic”. It honestly just pisses me off! Suck people should be in no position to help me

Hi, just call me X. This is my first time venting. I found this online space in my desperation to find somewhere I could just shout everything out. At least, even if it’s virtual, it feels like a release. I’ll also be honest—I’m using ChatGPT to refine my sentences so they’re clearer for anyone who might read this and find it relatable. I might be posting more, who knows?

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try to change, no one around you notices or cares? It’s exhausting to keep adjusting yourself, hoping to meet their expectations, only to have them keep seeing you as the same person you were before. Even the people you trust the most—the ones who should understand—seem stuck on who they think you are. It’s like they’ve decided they know you too well, so every action you take gets misinterpreted through that lens. You’re out here making all this effort to grow and meet their needs, but it feels like no one even acknowledges how much you're trying. It’s draining, and honestly, it makes you wonder if it’s even worth it.

i want to hit my head against a wall until my brain spills out. i'd bend over, crumpling down to the floor with a newfound lightness. my hands would reach out, towards the lump of misshapen meat on the carpet, grasping at the stem. i'd pull. and pull. and pull and pull. it would unwind in my hands, onto the floor like a spool of red thread. decorated along the pink tissue would be miniscule lines. microscopic letters; descriptions of events and people and places decipherable only by the innermost part of the self -- the heart.

and so, i would dig my fingernails in deep. deep. and deeper. deeper and deeper still. and then, my fingers would grasp the weakly pulsating bloody mass. i'd pull. and pull. and pull and pull. it'd tear out of my ribcage in a satisfying manner, with a sickly sweet squelch. blood would spill out of my concave chest and stain the white carpet. my thumbnails would find purchase in the surface of the organ, peeling it open like one would an orange, splitting open at the aorta and downwards past the purkyne tissue. inside, what is inside? i peer in. i wish i hadn't. there is no answer. none. none at all. none of this matters. i tear and tear and tear into myself for nothing. i drive a blade with practiced precision into the supple flesh of my skin in an attempt to peel it away and gain even a glimpse at the person i am within, naked and bare for none to see. there is no substance. i fall. no one hears. there is nothing to hear. for i am nothing, and everything at once. i have no substance to myself, but i mimic fragments of what others do. fragments. shards. a million glass shards when glued together don't form a mirror. engraved into my subconscious. an effort to please. to be neutral. to be perceived.

and then i receive it. an answer. an answer! at last, at last. i see it. i see it all. so clear. so clear indeed. i am a grotesque, misshapen amalgamation of everything and everyone i hold dear. a summation of everything equalling to nothing of substance. nothing of value. i know what i am.

i smile as i bleed out onto the red carpet.

I might be stepping on some toes here, but there’s an unavoidable issue we need to address regarding life coaching. While it may seem controversial, I believe that the concept of coaching another person's life raises several ethical concerns.

Firstly, let's acknowledge that individuals with a diverse and challenging past might feel motivated to offer advice based on their experiences. This intention, typically stemming from a desire to help, is largely well-meaning. I'm not accusing life coaches of having malicious intents. However, it’s imperative that they approach coaching with a sense of humility, openly discussing their own faults and failures when guiding others. Omitting these personal struggles can come across as arrogance or even condescension.

Many life coaches are exceptionally intelligent, possess great public speaking skills, and are adept at marketing themselves through books and seminars. These talents, while commendable, can sometimes lead to a superiority complex where they seem to imply, "Look how I succeeded, you should emulate me". This attitude, characterized by a lack of humility and an unwillingness to acknowledge personal flaws, doesn't inspire respect but may border on narcissism.

It’s more impactful when someone admits to ongoing struggles, such as saying, "I have a tough time with this even today". This kind of honesty fosters connection and trust more than the often-hollow appearance of having a perfect life.

From an outsider's standpoint, the best approach for a life coach is to embrace imperfection and stop projecting an image of flawlessness. I've observed that not all life coaches exhibit an egoistic attitude, but it's prevalent enough to raise concerns.

Just to be clear, I'm no saint myself. I tend to overthink, I can be quick-tempered, and my organization skills often leave much to be desired. I look forward to possibly contentious replies that may just prove my point, or perhaps some reflective responses that consider the value of genuine self-disclosure in life coaching.

Imagine if I voiced these opinions on a reality show. The reaction would likely be polarizing – some might praise the candor, while others could criticize it as being overly harsh or unsupportive of individuals working in the life coaching industry. How would the viewers respond to such blunt critique in a setting known for drama and heightened emotions?

We've been divorced for a while now, and we only interact because of the kids. The less I have to deal with her, the better. She's always been full of drama and negativity. Recently, she's been acting differently. She says it's because she's been seeing a "life coach" or something like that. I guess that's just another term for an unlicensed therapist lol. I couldn't care less.

Last week, she called me and asked if I would join her for sessions with this life coach. Oh, and she had the life coach on the call too. I tried not to laugh. It felt like a bad joke. Obviously, I don't believe in that nonsense. She claimed she had "unresolved trauma" that she needed to work through with me so she could become the person she was meant to be.

I started laughing.

I told her if she wanted to waste her time with quacks, that was her choice. But she should leave me and our kids out of it.

Her life coach said I was being "aggressive," so I told her she was just one step above a phone psychic and should be ashamed of herself for preying on lonely, bored women.

Then I hung up.

I sometimes wonder how people would react if this was all on a reality show. Would they see the absurdity of it, or think I'm the bad guy here? The drama would be off the charts, that's for sure.