For over a decade, I've been married to my husband, and throughout our marriage, his parents have been a continual source of stress. Recently, their intrusive behaviors escalated. Originally living in another state, they moved closer, positioning themselves midway between us and my husband's sister, making spontaneous visits a regular occurrence. These unannounced stopovers, where they would arrive at our doorstep expecting to stay several days, have always been a major inconvenience for me.

Preparing our home for guests is no small feat, especially with children. I've asked my husband numerous times to request that his parents inform us ahead of their visits or consider staying at a hotel, but he dismisses my concerns. Since he's usually occupied with work during their stays, the bulk of host duties—and accompanying stress—falls squarely on my shoulders.

Religion adds another layer of complexity to our interactions. My in-laws are devout Christians, while I identify more loosely with my Catholic upbringing. This difference in beliefs often puts me in uncomfortable situations, especially when they insist on overt religious practices like praying before meals and engage our children in discussions about faith that I find premature and imposing.

Beyond the personal intrusions, they also depend heavily on me for technical assistance—from updating their devices to handling online forms—since they recently sold their home and moved even closer, under an hour away. Their reliance on me has grown, disrupting my schedule and personal life even further.

Fed up, I told my husband that he needs to take on more responsibility in managing his parents' needs. This led to arguments and tension, as he faced the reality of balancing work with family obligations. Recently, when his mother requested immediate help with an online bill, I set a boundary, offering to assist on a specific day. She was not pleased, and their demands continued, leading to further conflicts between my husband and me, culminating in him outrageously suggesting divorce over these disputes.

Now, imagine if my scenario were showcased on a reality show. The cameras would capture every tense interaction and dramatic family dinner. Viewers would likely be split—some empathizing with my desire for boundaries, others perhaps viewing me as unreasonable. The pressure of public opinion might even force us to address these issues more constructively, or it could escalate the drama even further. How would my husband and his parents react to the world scrutinizing their every move? Would the added visibility bring us closer to a resolution, or push us further to the brink?

I am not his parents' keeper and refuse to be treated as such. It's time for my husband and his siblings to step up and share the responsibility.

Was I wrong for setting boundaries with my in-laws?

How should I handle the in-law visits?