Outsider
The story
I'm in culinary school.
First semester still, but already sidelined during group projects because my inability to catch-up or get along with my classmates. We're girls in dorms. Call me a pick-me, but the boys are easier to deal with because a) I don't live with them and b) they actually do kinda listen more? I guess that's just the perk of pretty much having the same personality as some of them. I wouldn't say this is strictly a girl issue - but my GOD, do they get rowdy at night (the girls) and I'm suffering from lack of sleep. Should I even be telling them to quit, because it should be common sense not to cackle and disturb others at night? I live in one room with only one roommate. I've had psychotic episodes and I've had to pull out of class early today because they were making offhanded comments about me, which I get that they make about each other - but I'm not okay with it.
Imagine having to live with this for pretty much all semester, it just gets worse because they just swipe by the boundaries. And being hyper-sensitive to change of atmosphere and situation due to trauma, it makes me feel even more stressed and alone and I was seriously considering SUICIDE and self-harm. I feel like due to my anger, I view it as the best "TAKE THAT" option. See how much I hated them and how much they were the cause of my stress that I'd kill myself because of them. Let the memory of my bloodied body haunt them forever.
I don't wanna hurt anyone. I don't wanna be an inconvenience. My brain hurts. I don't think I can keep going.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
hey, i get you're having a tough time, but i kinda think there's more to it ??? teamwork in culinary school is crucial, you know? “too many cooks in the kitchen” isn’t just a saying; each of us has to learn to adapt !!! sleep can be hard in dorms, but learning to manage that chaos is just part of the gig... =) remember that famous chef who said, "success is best when it's shared"??? it wasn't about perfection, but collaboration take it step by step... burnout in the culinary world is real so be careful! but don't rely too much on blaming others for the pressure ;-)
totally get you're stressin'! but you gotta chill a bit!! 🤔 dealing with dorm life is part of the whole college experience ya know; everybody's got their own things and it ain't always easy... but like they say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"... maybe try earplugs or talking it out with 'em?
living with others is always a mix but you learn a lot from it; focus on the positive and keep pushing forward!! tough situations teach resilience and you'll come out stronger at the end ✌️ just do your best and take care of you!!