my insignifiant life(I'm braziliam.My english is bad. Sorry)
The story
[Translated from Portuguese. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]
Hi guys. Well… to start, I am (m). I prefer not say my age but I am very young. What I want to say, and also ask for advice, is about something that is bothering me a lot in the last months. Since February actually.
Like I was saying, I am a boy, I really like rock music in general. My favorite band is Linkin Park. I am learning keyboard for about one year. I have actually some talent for music in general. Since I was little I was always good with it. Because of that, some time ago I made a band with some friends. I am the vocalist and keyboard player. We never really did anything. But the band exists.
This was just a superficial presentation of me. Nothing very important.
But the real question is that, like I said, in the last times I am having kind of bad thoughts. Things like being unmotivated with life, having to see other people becoming better than me and also having to hear words of less value against me. This is routine. My parents always raised me to be the best in everything I do. And in some way this is right. I also always wanted to be the best. And this is not an egoist thought. If there are people better than me, ok. I really don’t care. But I have to stay quiet and hear many things my parents say that end up hurting me. They don’t say it with bad intention. I know that. They love me and want my good. But I always feel inferior to everyone. Sometimes I hear things from my parents like: “are you dumb?” or “you always make the same mistake”. Things like that. I ended accepting a reality that I am useless. If I disappeared, maybe others would be happier.
This is not just a teenager nonsense talk (I know, every teenager would say that). But I really need advice or help. Because if I really am a burden or just useless, there is no reason for me to continue existing and disturbing others. I always manage to make my parents sad or angry. Even without wanting and trying to improve. I love them a lot and I admire the patience they have with me (it’s not little).
Another thing that affects me is the feeling of emptiness that I feel all the time. Things that made me happy before or that I liked to do became just… common things. I don’t feel pleasure doing anything I liked. Playing videogames, playing instruments like before. And listening to some Linkin Park songs, I realize a bit of what I am talking about. In parts like: “In the end, it doesn’t even matter” from the song In the End. Or “who cares if one more light goes out, in the sky of a million stars”, from the song One More Light.
I feel that even living, being successful, working with something I like, getting married and being happy, even then I will not be complete. Because everything is very temporary. One day everything will end and… then? All of this was for nothing? I lived for nothing?
I simply lost the will to live. It doesn’t make me happy anymore to think about tomorrow. About what I will do.
I am kind of giving up. Because living until 70, or 80 with this disgust of myself. This daily self-deprecation that torments me. I can’t take supporting this alone anymore. And I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t want to be labeled as weak. Or things like that. I wanted someone that really understands me and doesn’t say: “ah but this is age. Soon it passes.”
My conclusion about life is this. Something that I don’t know why or for what it exists.
Sorry for possible bad orthography and for the text being kind of confusing and tiring. But I would appreciate anyone who could read this vent and try to give me advice.
Sorry too if I marked the wrong tag. I am new here in the community.
But anyway, thank you everyone.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there, I totally hear you. It’s tough when expectations feel like they weigh a ton and the stuff that used to bring joy just feels meh now. You're not alone in feeling this way, even if it seems like you are – lots of us hit rough patches, and it's okay to admit things aren't great right now. Maybe talking to someone who gets it could help, even if it's just a start. Stay strong! 🤘
Hey, I totally get where you're coming from and it's tough when expectations are high and self-worth feels low...
I can sense where you're coming from, and I completely understand how challenging it must be to constantly feel inferior; It's tough when the expectations of others weigh so heavily on your shoulders. Music is a powerful outlet!! it's great that you have that passion for rock and Linkin Park. While those lyrics can resonate deeply with feelings of emptiness, remember they are expressions of emotions that hopefully inspire you to channel your own through your music.
When it comes to personal growth, comparing yourself to others isn't always beneficial. It sounds like you're caught in a loop of self-depreciation reinforced by external pressures. Trust me, I've been there too. There was a time when I felt stuck in my job despite my efforts and ambitions. Over time, I realized redefining success on my terms helped me find peace and purpose. Finding someone trustworthy to talk these feelings through might provide much-needed relief... whether that's a friend or a professional.
It’s okay not to have all the answers yet; you're still young and figuring things out. The journey is just as important as where you end up! 🤘
it sounds like you're going through a tough time and feeling overwhelmed but maybe focusing on small daily wins or things you enjoy could help shift your perspective a bit.
It sounds to me, young boy, like you're dealing with quite the mental overload there; feeling inferior despite your talents is baffling. Your parents' intentions may be good, but their words seem to clash with how they affect you emotionally. If you ask me, it might help to communicate with them about how you're feeling: sometimes even those closest to us don't fully grasp our internal struggles!!! As for the emptiness and lack of motivation in things that once inspired joy, it might be worth exploring new ways to engage with your passions or seek out supportive communities!!!!!! Remember, these feelings can pass; hanging onto hope and seeking perspective could illuminate a brighter path forward 🙂
Hey there! 😊 First off, mad respect for diving into music and forming a band. That's pretty cool and takes some guts. I hear you about those feelings of emptiness and being hard on yourself: totally get that it must be tough hearing those comments from your parents. But remember, every rock star you admire faced similar challenges... 🤘
It's awesome you're reaching out here; it shows strength, not weakness. Have you considered sharing these thoughts with a counselor or therapist? They can help unpack all this in a professional way. And hey, life might feel temporary now, but moments are what make it worthwhile. There’s always potential for happiness again: it just takes time to find the right rhythm for you. 🎶 Keep jamming on that keyboard and know there's support out there!
Honestly, man, I see where you're coming from, but you gotta shake off this mindset that your life has no meaning. It sounds like you're caught in a cycle of negativity and letting the words of others define your worth. "Comparison is the thief of joy," as they say. It's crucial to shift focus away from what others think or say about you. You have talents and interests (your music and love for bands like Linkin Park) that can bring you fulfillment. Surround yourself with people who lift you up instead of dragging you down, even if it means stepping outside your immediate circle a bit. Life isn't just about reaching some magical state of happiness; it's about finding moments that make it all worthwhile, even if they're few and far between sometimes. 🤘
unfortunately, it seems you're caught in a difficult cycle of expectations and self-critique. it's essential to remember that life isn't solely about being the best but about embracing growth at your own pace. for instance, i found peace when i shifted my focus from external validation to personal milestones that truly mattered to me. perhaps consider redefining what success means for you individually; this can be empowering and fulfilling. you possess musical talent and passion: those are gifts not everyone has. utilize them as an outlet for your emotions; they may pave the way to finding meaning again amidst uncertainty ✨
You know, reading your post made me think of my own days when I felt like nothing was ever enough despite giving my best shot; isn't it crazy how we sometimes let expectations sneak up on us and steal our joy?
Hey dude, it sucks to feel lost like this, especially when you're busting your ass but still feel stuck. Something similar happened to me: felt like a hamster on a wheel and nothing mattered. But sometimes just shaking things up helps. Have you considered trying new music genres or different creative outlets? Exploring something unfamiliar could spark that passion again and give you some fresh air. Ever thought about what else could light a fire under you besides music? 🤘
Mate, it's a real kicker when everything feels bleak and the stuff you once enjoyed just doesn't hit the same. But here's a thought: maybe it's time to switch things up a bit; explore something outside your routine that could reignite some passion or surprise you with new interests? The truth is, life's not always about being the best or meeting others' expectations!! it's more about finding what truly makes *you* tick. Don’t let anyone define your worth; life can feel like one endless grind, but who says it won’t lead to something unexpected down the line?!? Keep rocking on your own terms and keep looking for those sparks! 🤘
It's tough when you're in a loop of self-doubt and feeling like nothing matters, but perhaps trying to find purpose beyond societal norms could be a game changer; have you considered that fulfillment might come from experiences and connections rather than achievements?
hey man, i totally get where you're coming from; the pressure to be the best can be such a heavy load to carry. i've felt that too and what i found helpful was realizing it's okay not to have it all figured out right now. sometimes just allowing yourself space to explore what truly makes you happy without the weight of expectations can open up new paths. ever thought about jamming with your band more? music's an awesome way to express all those emotions you got pent up inside; plus it might even bring back some of that joy again 🙌 life's definitely more than just ticking boxes or meeting standards set by others; it’s about finding and creating your own unique rhythm 🌟
hey, i totally get how tough it must be to feel that pressure and like you're not measuring up. been there myself at times. 😅 have you ever thought about journaling or writing songs about what you're experiencing? might sound cheesy but sometimes putting feelings into words can help sort out thoughts and find clarity. remember, music is a powerful tool for expression; maybe try channeling those feelings through your band or solo projects. finding meaning in small victories can slowly build back that motivation; even if life feels heavy now, it's often the little things that make a difference! 🤘
i get where you're coming from. it sounds like you're in a tough spot, but have you ever thought about how music can be a powerful tool for expressing what you're going through? 🎶 even chester bennington from linkin park used his struggles as fuel for his songwriting, and it resonates with so many people. maybe channeling these feelings into your band's music could be therapeutic; it'd give voice to what you're feeling while creating something meaningful out of this experience. ever tried writing your own lyrics or composing tunes that reflect your journey? it's amazing how art can transform pain into something beautiful!
Hey there, I really feel for you. It can be tough when the things that once brought joy start feeling meaningless. Your love for music shows you've got a creative soul 🎹! Have you thought about exploring songwriting or expressing your feelings through lyrics? Sometimes channeling emotions into art can be incredibly healing and might help you find clarity. What does the process of creating music mean to you personally? Maybe reflecting on that could offer some insight. Hang in there, mate! 🌟
hey man, i feel you. it sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight from those expectations. sometimes we get so caught up trying to meet what others want that we forget our own voice in the process. maybe it's worth taking a step back and asking yourself what *you* want out of life, beyond just pleasing others? 🤔 a buddy of mine once suggested keeping a journal; jotting down thoughts and ideas can be super helpful for figuring out where your heart really lies. plus, hearing your own words can sometimes provide clarity or even remind you of paths you'd forgotten about. give it a shot! peace ✌️