"friends"
The story
This is where it began, I guess.
So I was classmates with this one guy (calling him EC) back when I was in grade 2 and we were really good friends back then, though over time our friendship wasn't as tight as before. Honestly, I get why it wasn't. We couldn't meet as much due to us being put in different sections.
Anyway, fast forward to the point where I was grade 6.
Still was in the same school but made more friends, and I was the "smartest" (I'll rant about that some other time) in my class. Tried running for class president because the teachers convinced me to, but I lost the election for it. "It's fine," I thought to myself. And to be fair, the person that won the election (calling him BA) deserved that spot. Really nice and kind to anyone he could see.
Minded my business for the most part after that, except when my classmates asked for help on how to do some homework or clarify instructions the teachers gave (which I gladly did for them). Surprisingly, BA was one of those people, and kept asking me frequently. Couldn't refuse, so I just sucked it up and offered a hand. Over time though, I started to like him. I don't know why. I just did.
Near the end of the school year, our homeroom teacher asked what we were gonna do after graduating. BA then started talking about going abroad with his close friends to me. I asked who was going with him, and he said EC and a couple others who I don't know.
BA and I got into the same all-boys high school for grade 7, but got put in different sections. Didn't bother us both, though. We'd meet somewhere inside the library and he'd keep asking for help. To be honest, that school year was too boring without him by my side. What I didn't tell him however (and still haven't told him) was that I'd be transferring to another school for grade 8, so he still thinks I'll be by his side. I tried convincing my parents to let me stay, primarily because I want to still be with him, but I can't get them to budge.
Up until then, I still didn't tell him or anyone that I like him. I want to ask him out someday, but I can't. First, I don't know if he's just as interested in me as I am to him. Second, the students in this high school dislike the idea of dating the same sex. Most of the students there openly make homophobic remarks and shame others outside school and I don't want him to be treated like that. Third, I don't think we can work a long-distance relationship if he does like me back, and I don't think he'll drop everything to be with me cuz all his friends, especially EC, are still in that high school.
Grade 8 is about to start soon. I have his DM's but I don't know what to tell him. I don't know what to do.
Sorry if my rant was too long, please drink enough water, get enough sleep, and bye!❤️
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Points of view
It sounds like you're going through a really tough and confusing situation. It's clear that you have strong feelings for BA, but it's unfortunate that circumstances, like transferring schools and the social environment you're both in, make it so complicated. It's difficult when you're in a place where expressing your feelings could lead to negative consequences, especially with the environment being as you've described.
Trying to maintain a connection with BA through DMs could be a way to keep your friendship alive, even if you can't share everything you're feeling right now. Sometimes, just keeping that line of communication open can help bridge the gap that distance and time create. As for your feelings, it's understandable to feel hesitant given the potential challenges. It's tough to predict how someone will react, and the fear of risk is totally valid.
Remember, it's okay to take your time to figure things out and prioritize what's best for you. This is a delicate situation, and feeling this uncertainty is completely reasonable. Hang in there, and I hope things become clearer for you over time.