Horrible emotional attachment
The story
[Translated from Spanish. Reminder: IIWIARS is English only]
Good night, people....
How horrible is attachment to people, especially if you believe you can ever have a relationship.
8 months ago, I met a man 15 years older than me. From the first day I saw him, I was smitten, I loved his smile and how good he smelled.
The bad thing is that he was the boyfriend of a friend of mine.
I think I manifested everything because I imagined everything happening. I looked for the opportunity when he was fighting with his girlfriend so I could talk to him. Her number was given to me by her, who was his girlfriend, for some loans he made. Honestly, people, I know karma is going to fall on me, even though I've already shut up, but it was
stronger than me. It wasn't that difficult to interact with him (First red flag)
But we started seeing each other. No one can imagine how gentlemanly, attentive, and all around he was with me (love bombing, second red flag). The truth is, since he's so many years older than me, I didn't think he could be the same as everyone else. He was very different from the last person I'd been with. I felt like we were on the same page, but the truth is, we weren't.
Well, to all of this, I'm clear that he didn't want anything serious, but people proved the opposite. We went on a trip and had a great time until one day his ex found out we were seeing each other. She talked trash about me, and he believed her. The girl looked for me to hit me, exposed me on social media, and he asked me to break up because "I didn't really know what I wanted."
I cried for 3 days because that anguish came back from all the times my ex left me crying days and nights (third red flag).
Those three days, he slept with her, she posted stories, and they reached me.
I felt super humiliated and sad because that's when he showed his true colors. I WAS DISAPPOINTED. He asked me to talk and told me he didn't want to stop seeing me, and that was when I was LOVE BOMBED.
He would do things like eating together, going for walks, jealous scenes, sending good-morning messages every day, and commenting on every single thing I posted.
That was until he got tired of me because the attention was getting less and less.
I started to realize there was another girl besides the ex, and that he treated all three of us equally, with trips, concerts, meals, walks, jealousy, details, etc.
At one point, he started not answering me, or he would only do so every 3 or 4 hours, and the fear started to set in again. I don't know what the fear is, but it drove me crazy. They kept ringing the phone to see if he'd talk to me, and if he didn't, tears would automatically fall. I don't understand why, but it's something that develops on its own, and sadness sets in. Until finally, he spoke to me and his soul returned to my body.
The day came when I got married, and I put him to the test. I exaggerated a little, but I was sure I wanted to get out of there no matter what because anxiety was eating away at me.
I blocked him from everywhere because I believed that would work my attachment and at the same time, I would see his reaction.
I couldn't last a week. During that week, I was in bed for two days, vomiting for three, and feeling very ill. My body spoke volumes. I asked him to talk, and his response was that he was going on a trip and that he would call me that night. I waited until 1:00 in the morning by the phone. He never called me back.
I can't explain how bad I felt. He rejected all the attention I had paid him, even though I hadn't done anything wrong. He had gone off with the other girl. He destroyed every hope I had, and he never called me again.
(I don't know how many red flags I'm throwing)
I couldn't stand not being able to talk, not being able to see him. I needed him, until I called him crying, telling him how bad he made me feel.
His response was: "I apologize, but I don't have any feelings for you. That doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore."
And I accepted their feelings just to be there. I can't express the ups and downs of emotions I'm going through. I can't get out of there, and I'm not having a good time either. I feel like if I walk away, I'll go through that whole painful process again, and I don't want to. Today, they haven't spoken to me all day, and neither have I. But I'm the one who maintains the connection because I'm always the one who makes the first conversation and the one who asks to meet up.
How do I get out of here, God? Sometimes I really pray to meet someone else, but nothing calls to me.
I know that no matter what they say, it's going to be a nightmare. I just want to skip the sad part.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Wow, that sounds like a real whirlwind of emotions!!! Getting attached to someone only to realize their true colors can be such a painful journey; I totally get how attachment can have you feeling stuck in the chaos. I've been there too, and it's crazy how one moment you're feeling on top of the world, and the next, you're questioning everything. Your strength to share this is amazing 👏 I hope you find a way out that brings you peace, whatever path you choose! Remember, it's okay to put yourself first even if it feels tough at first; you deserve someone who genuinely respects you without causing this rollercoaster of emotions.
man, that's a massive mess!!! can't believe the drama some people stir up. "I apologize, but I don't have any feelings for you"—that’s pure nonsense and brutal. i've seriously seen enough people get led on like this; the guy seems like a player with zero respect. attachment? it's a killer, right? once got stuck in a toxic loop myself, like a never-ending cycle of crap. just think: do you wanna keep getting dragged around by someone who sees you as convenience?? life’s too short for this nonsense, dude. it hurts now, but sometimes walking away is the best freedom. hang in there!
Bueno Yo también estoy atrapada Y pienso mucho en como la voy a pasar y no Quiero pero a su vez de todos modos la paso mal.
Gentle reminder (second one :-)): use only English here please!
I see where you're coming from, but it feels like ignoring some important red flags here. it's easy to get swept away by emotions and affection, especially when someone seems attentive and generous. however, considering this guy had a girlfriend—plus how he treated you and the others—should raise serious concerns. accountability is key; it's crucial to recognize when someone is just stringing you along. self-awareness is your best ally in navigating these tricky dynamics. you deserve more than being someone's second (or third) choice; this whole situation seems to stem from a place of hoping for the best despite the evidence. remember, sometimes taking a step back provides a clearer perspective on what you truly want and deserve ❤️
While I empathize with your situation, it seems crucial to acknowledge some overlooked aspects. Entering a relationship that began with deception often leads to complications. It's important to reflect on the role we play in such dynamics; I once found myself in a similar situation, and it taught me the value of self-respect and boundaries. Remember, genuine connections are built on trust and transparency. Focusing on personal growth and healing can open doors to healthier relationships in the future. Stay hopeful, as the right person will appreciate you for who you are.
I understand the emotional turmoil you've experienced, but it's vital to maintain perspective. Relationships that arise amidst deception can often lead to complex emotional situations. As the saying goes, "actions speak louder than words," and this relationship seemed fraught with red flags from the outset. It's important to prioritize self-respect and acknowledge the possibility of healthier connections elsewhere. Personal growth and introspection can pave the way toward more fulfilling relationships. Be hopeful for the future, and remember that you deserve a partner who genuinely values and respects you.
wow, your story is a real rollercoaster!!! it's messed up how some people can be so manipulative, huh? like really, this dude seems to have mastered the art of playing with people's feelings, and that's just not cool. seriously though, why do we let ourselves get dragged into such emotional chaos; are we searching for connection or excitement?? while it's natural to get caught up in the whirlwind when someone shows initial affection, it's crucial to recognize when things are taking a toxic turn. there is hope for better things ahead, my friend. have you thought about focusing on what brings you joy and fulfillment outside of this chaos? take care and remember brighter days are on the horizon 😊💪!!!
I hear you, and it sounds like you've been through a lot, but I've got to be real with you—jumping into something with someone who already had a history with someone close to you is a risky move. It's like playing with fire, you know? There's always this underlying dynamic of distrust and chaos. The guy seems to have been spreading himself too thin among multiple people, which doesn't scream stability or reliability. It might be time to take a step back and reassess what you truly want from a relationship and whether this situation aligns with those desires. Keep in mind, you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect and genuine connection, not one that feels like a constant emotional rollercoaster. Stay strong and maybe try to focus on what makes you genuinely happy and fulfilled, outside of these tangled emotions ❤️.
i completely understand where you're coming from and can totally relate to your experience!!! dealing with attachment is no joke, especially when there's a whirlwind of emotions involved. it's tough when someone gives mixed signals and keeps you tangled in a web of uncertainty. i've been through similar situations, and it's like a rollercoaster that never seems to stop. it's totally human to hold onto hope when someone shows you bits of attention or affection. your feelings and reactions are valid, and realizing you've been love-bombed can be a wake-up call. remember to take care of yourself first, and don't forget to lean on your support system; finding clarity and peace in these messy situations is key. keep your chin up, and know that you're not alone ❤️.
i get you, but it sounds like you're missing a few key things here. diving into something with someone who’s already entangled is tricky business and bound to cause heartache. "I can't explain how bad I felt"—this screams warning signs; chasing after someone who's not fully available usually leads to trouble. you deserve genuine affection and focus from a partner, without the chaos of love triangles and mixed messages. really, it's all about building a solid foundation with someone who values transparency and honesty. maybe it’s time to think about what you truly want from a relationship and hold out for that person who’ll give support and respect. brighter days are ahead if you focus on growth and stay optimistic about love 😊.