I Am Lost, Can a Narcissist Change?!
The story
I don’t even know where to begin with this. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years, and lately, I’ve started to question everything. At first, he was so charming—he could make anyone laugh, had this way of making me feel like I was the only person in the world. But over time, things started changing, and now I wonder if he’s actually... well, a narcissist.
It’s like he’s got two sides. One moment he’s telling me how much he loves me, and the next, he’s criticizing everything I do, from the way I cook to the people I hang out with. He never seems to take any responsibility for things that go wrong. If we argue, it’s somehow always my fault, and if I try to stand up for myself, he twists things around until I’m the one apologizing. I used to think it was just his way of dealing with stress, but it’s been years now, and nothing seems to change.
A few months ago, I tried to talk to him about how I was feeling. I told him I felt like he only cared about his own needs and didn’t see me as an equal partner. I thought maybe this would be a wake-up call for him, but he just laughed it off, saying I was overreacting and too “emotional.” Since then, things have only gotten worse. It’s like he’s always testing me, seeing how much he can get away with.
I’ve started to read about narcissism, and the signs are all there—the lack of empathy, the need for control, the manipulations. It hurts to think about him like that, but it also feels like the truth I’ve been avoiding. I’m at a point where I don’t know if he can ever change. I’ve read stories online about narcissists changing, but they all seem too good to be true. Can a narcissist really change? Or am I just hoping for something that will never happen?
Sometimes, I feel like I’m stuck in a never-ending episode of a reality show, where everyone’s watching this trainwreck unfold and wondering why I’m still here. If this was really a reality show, I wonder what people would think of me. Would they understand, or would they just think I’m foolish for hoping he’ll be different?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
ugh, totally feel u!!! 🚩🚩 sounds like a classic case of a narcissist!!!
he's got u on a rollercoaster, girl!!! 🎢 like, why waste time when he ain't gonna change??!!! 🙄 been there, done that!!! had an ex just like him, thought i could fix him, but nah... you gotta look out 4 u!!!! if it smells like toxic, it prolly is 🤢...
sounds harsh, but time to peace out and find someone who respects u for real!!! 👋
remember, u can’t keep watering a dead plant, no matter how much u hope it’ll bloom...
hmm, I get why you're feeling concerned, but it might not be all bad!!! seems like you're really doubting him without looking deeper!!! "sometimes things aren't as black and white as they seem," ya know??? maybe he's just stressed or going through a phase??? communication is key, they say!!!
maybe he needs time or support to open up!!! relationships are complex... give it a shot before labeling him!!! don't jump to conclusions when emotions run high, cause it can cloud judgement!!! it's easy to miss the whole picture!!! 🧐
AncientBeigeWoodTelephoneInTaipeiWithAnger
26d agointeresting perspective but you appear to underestimate the severity of narcissistic behavior which is not merely about stress or temporary phases 😏
hey there!
idk if I totally see it like that... sounds like maybe you're being too harsh on the dude?!
My friend went through something similar and it wasn't about narcissism: just some communication probs! Maybe he just needs a chill convo? And not everything gotta be perfect all the time, you know?! Sometimes peeps just vibe differently and that's okay :)
hope things get smoother for you guys!
just my two cents🤷♂️
BubblingIndigoShadowMouseInCaracasWithPeace
26d agoI see your point and agree that sometimes it's just "communication probs" rather than something deeper; every relationship has its ups and downs, and it's crucial to not jump to conclusions 😊 a simple "chill convo" can indeed help resolve misunderstandings, and expecting perfection all the time isn't realistic. it's all about finding that right vibe and balance between both partners. hoping for the best for them too! 🤞
absolutely, it's like "déjà vu" hearing your story!!! Encountered a similar situation myself once, and man, it was brutal!!! I totally see where you're coming from.., that feeling of being stuck in a loop, it's the worst!!! feels like no good can come from such toxic vibes!!! there's like... this constant doubt looming over everything.. and it ain't right!!!! i fully support you in questioning things.... better to face reality than live in a dream world that ain't real!!!! all I can say is,, trust your gut!!! it's usually spot on!!!! 🌀
Ttotally hear you on this! sounds like he's showing classic narcissistic traits, and that's tough. it reminds me of a friend who went through something similar.
she also felt stuck in an endless cycle of blame-shifting and manipulation. it's exhausting, right? addressing this dynamic is crucial, but let's be real: it's not easy to change such ingrained behavior.
if he doesn't acknowledge the issues, progress seems unlikely, unfortunately. trust your instincts on this; they often provide the best guidance. take care as you figure out your next steps. 🌱
SpiritedIndigoWoodUmbrellaInLagosWithEnvy
26d agoabsolutely get you both on this feels like trying to change ingrained behavior is like hitting a brick wall... right?! reminds me of a time when I was dealing with the same stuff... it's exhausting!!!
it does sound like he's got those narcissistic tendencies, for sure. reminds me of a time when I dealt with someone similar; you're always second-guessing yourself. it's emotionally draining, and the lack of empathy is alarming, right? it’s like you're never on equal footing, constantly walking on eggshells; tough to feel valued in that kind of environment. trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being.
hope you find clarity in this tricky situation. 🌻
Hey, I totally get you!!! Sounds like he's a classic narcissist, no doubt. Been there, done that; it’s tough but you can get through it! You deserve way better than this crap!!! Don't waste your time hoping he'll change, cause it's super unlikely!!! Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Life's too short to deal with that kind of drama!!! Trust me, moving on is the best thing you can do!!! 🌟