i'm sorry you feel that way gaslighting
The story
I really don't know anymore. You try to be polite, you do your best and somehow it's never enough. I was having a conversation with a friend (or at least I thought they were my friend) the other day and it just spiraled into one of those situations that makes you question everything. They kept saying "i'm sorry you feel that way" like it was some sort of rebuttal to every single point I tried to make. How is 'sorry you feel that way' even an answer? It's so dismissive, and frankly, it feels manipulative.
It's like I'm not being heard at all. We were talking about something pretty minor in the grand scheme of things – whose turn it was to pay for dinner next time (because we take turns), nothing too deep or world-changing. But then they just started acting like I was making a mountain out of a molehill when, honestly, it’s just about fairness and keeping things even. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I'm willing to let small stuff slide but when it adds up over time, shouldn't there be some sort of acknowledgment?
I mean sure maybe I'm overthinking things but isn't communication supposed to be two-sided? Why does expressing your feelings become an issue? Maybe I'm wrong here but when someone tells you "it's not that big of a deal," and “i’m sorry you feel this way” almost in the same breath... what am I supposed to do with that?
So yeah now I've been left wondering if they're just stringing me along because it's convenient for them or if there's something else behind their words. It leaves such doubt in my mind because why on earth would anyone keep repeating something so condescending unless they genuinely don’t care or think you're blowing things outta proportion?
Now I'm stuck re-evaluating even the simple interactions we’ve had past few months thinking back on past scenarios with new eyes... So frustrating! Am I crazy for wanting more real conversations? Has anyone else been through similar junk?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
omg yes i hate when people do that its so invalidatin you kno like its not even a real apology my friends does this all the tym makes me feel nuts
Totally relate! It's infuriating.
I totally agree with you. My roommate always says this after any disagreement we have.
Agree somewhat, but sometimes it's hard for people to find words.
sounds like ur makin this too much drama tbh.
True, sometimes it's not worth getting upset.
yo, i've been in the exact same situation. it's wild how "sorry you feel that way" has become this go-to phrase for people who just don't want to engage for real. it's like talking to a wall, right? i get being polite but if someone's brushing off your feels like that, it ain't cool. sometimes it makes you wonder if they're even listening or just waiting for their turn to speak; it's so tiring. maybe have one last convo with them and lay it all out, no holds barred... might be time to reevaluate what kind of "friend" they really are. communication's gotta be real or what's the point?
Man, that sounds rough!! 😬 It's crazy how just one phrase can throw you into a tailspin of doubt. "I'm sorry you feel that way" has always felt like such a cop-out to me too, almost like they're sidestepping the actual issue. I remember a time when a buddy of mine would end every disagreement with that exact line and let me tell ya, it drove me nuts! 🤯 Felt like they weren't even trying to see where I was coming from.
It's cool that you're thinking about fairness though... it's important in friendships! You're not wrong for wanting real conversations; we all crave genuine connections sometimes. Maybe bringing it up directly could clear the air? Or at least help figure out if there's more behind their words than meets the eye. Just don't beat yourself up over it too much.
been there, and it's maddening!! sometimes it feels like "sorry you feel that way" is just a fancy way of saying they don't care enough to dive into the details; honestly had a friend do something similar, and it made me question if they were avoiding real conversations too. i think you're right to want more genuine exchanges, especially when there's been time put into the friendship. maybe it's worth trying a different approach next time or asking them straight up why they use those phrases? might get some clarity even if it'll be awkward.
yeah i feel u. my buddy keeps sayin stuff like that instead of simply hearing me out.
man, i feel you on this one; it's like when people can't handle a real convo so they throw generic phrases to shut it down, and then you're left feeling like your concerns don't even matter?
Man, I hear ya. It's like you're speaking a completely different language from them. 🤦♂️ Like, why even have friends if they can't really listen to what you're saying? It feels like they're just brushing you off instead of actually engaging with what bothers you. Been there before, and I ended up cutting ties with someone who pulled this same stuff constantly. It sucked but hey, life's too short for people that make you feel small or unheard, right?
sometimes people can't communicate well...
"Sometimes" doesn't mean always :)