i will only believe in love if they cry for me
The story
I will only believe a girl likes me if she cries for me. i promise i am not sadistic or anything, i just have BAD trust issues and will only believe someone's love and yearning if they display it loudly and clearly. I don't want to give someone love without the assurance that they love me too. i want to love, but i could never allow myself to love someone if they don't show their love to me first. I don't want to be used, i don't want to be vulnerable. i want to be detached, so when abandonment eventually comes, i won't be as impacted.
i know this might be bad, but the more i watch other sapphics/lesbians like me talk about their painful breakups, the thicker my barrier grows. I don't wanna be hurt, i don't wanna be weak. vulnerability is my biggest fear. but for the sake of not hurting myself, i might end up hurting someone... it always comes to my mind, what if someone truly loves me, but my barrier became way too thick for me to take it?
i have a friend, my only highschool friend, and she said i am her best friend. guess what? it's still hard to believe her. we talk often and frequent the same places, and she's always willing to talk to me unless she's super drained, but i still haven't found the strength to open up fully, because she might disappear anytime. i can't believe I'm more than just "someone she knows". i want to protect myself, but i feel like doing it this way is making me worse. I don't know what to do.
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Points of view
Hey there, I feel you, but relying on someone crying to believe in their love is a bit much; trust can't just be built on tears. I've known folks who were with me through thick and thin without ever crying, and that meant the world. Protecting yourself is important, but don’t you think this could push genuine people away? Isn't there another way to build trust without waiting for someone to break down?
Honestly, basing trust on tears sounds a bit dramatic; ever heard the term "emotional manipulation"? That's what it feels like. Relationships are built on communication and mutual respect, not on waiting for someone to break down. 💁♂️ Rather than focusing on their breakdown, why not watch how consistently they show up for you? How does making someone cry prove love, anyway? Isn't there a healthier way to build a connection? 🤔
honestly, your approach seems a bit misguided; relying on tears as proof of love is a precarious precedent. are you really gauging someone’s affection based on emotional display??! in my experience, real trust is forged through consistent actions and honesty. what if someone loves you deeply but isn't expressive enough to cry openly; would you dismiss their feelings??! this strategy could inadvertently sever potential genuine connections. might it be more prudent to reassess your criteria for trust???
I've read the new points of view now. i admit, i was being very dramatic with this title and the beginning of the text haha... i don't think i need to see someone CRY and scream for me, i was just very emotional at the moment and now I'm realizing i didn't even really mean it(it's a little embarrassing now...) but about the rest, it's still very real. trust issues creates a very bad barrier between me and anyone new in my life. but now I'm entering a new phase of my trajectory, one that will give me the chance to get out of my house a little more and meet more people, professionally or casually. im seeing a therapist and im planning on bringing up everything I've said here, and hopefully i will find the person that can make me feel truly and deeply loved. thanks for the feedback, everyone!!🫶🫶🫶
glad to read that! hope everything will be Ok for u! :)
I totally get where you’re coming from!!! Trust isn't just given, it's earned, and you gotta protect your heart 💔 I've been burned too many times myself; you ain’t crazy for wanting proof that someone’s really into you!!! Honestly, why should you give your all if they ain't showing their cards first?!!! It’s all about self-preservation. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for looking out for yourself!!!