In Love With my Best Friend (but it’s more complicated)
The story
I’ve always known I liked girls, (I’m a female), but I don’t think I’ve ever been IN LOVE with a girl. That was until I met my best friend. There’s something about her that captivates me in a way I can’t explain, and I can tell it’s not just in a platonic light. Sometimes I get the urge to just touch her, kiss her, be as close to her as possible. I’m typically not a clingy or even remotely touchy friend. I’m only like that in relationships. Speaking of, I have a boyfriend…and she has a girlfriend (sort of)…which makes the entire situation 1000x worse. I feel so guilty because I love my boyfriend and he treats me so good. I’ve been with him for 2 years and it’s the most healthy and fulfilling relationship I’ve ever been in, but I can’t help that I feel this way. I’ve tried to suppress it and it feels like the harder I try the worse it gets. Like I said before, she has a girlfriend that she’s also been with for a while (although they’re currently broken up but likely getting back together because they still talk). There’s this dull ache I feel when she talks about her girlfriend, but I know she loves her dearly and I would never want to ruin that. I would also never want to ruin our friendship because she’s an AMAZING friend. It just haunts me every day. I needed to get it off of my chest because I’m too embarrassed to tell a friend. Also, the more I think about the fact that I do have feelings for her, the more I actually want to and feel this extreme urge to explore my sexuality more, because I’ve never actually been with or done anything with a female, and I’ve always wanted to. What do I do? Someone please give me some sort of advice. Thank you.
How would you go about this situation?
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Points of view
Damn, you're in one hell of a situation, but honestly, your feelings are valid. It's tough being in love with your best friend; emotions don't follow straightforward paths, and it's okay to acknowledge that. Exploring your sexuality is a legitimate part of personal growth, and it sounds like you're on a journey to understand yourself better, which is never a bad thing. Being in a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your boyfriend, though, is something you should consider deeply before making any moves. It's not surprising you're confused, given how complicated these dynamics are, between your emotions and preexisting relationships, but take your time. Balancing your feelings with the respect you owe to all relationships involved is key to navigating this; proceed thoughtfully.
Thank you so much. I know it’s a lot, which is why I think I couldn’t tell anybody. It’s a messy situation. I actually posted this with the hopes that maybe if I tell someone, or “say it out loud,” the feeling will diminish a bit. But thank you for taking the time to respond. Hope you have a blessed day.
Whoa, sounds like you're juggling too many emotions, and to be honest, you MIGHT be deluding yourself a bit... You're caught up in this whirlwind of feelings, but let's face it, diving into this mess could blow up everything you've got going on. You're in a solid relationship, so why risk it over some fleeting attraction? It's natural to be curious about your sexuality, but don't let that curiosity lead you into making impulsive decisions. Think about the emotional upheaval it might cause if you act on these feelings; the stakes are high, and not just for you, but for everyone involved. It's time to seriously weigh the pros and cons before stepping further into this quagmire, seriously.
You’re definitely right. Honestly this isn’t really something I want to act on because I know the mess it will cause. I think it’s more so the fact that these feelings are something I haven’t been able to shake. My full intention is moving on with life and acting like it never happened, lol. It just felt better to get off my chest.
It's understandable that you're experiencing a complex array of emotions, yet it seems you might be treading on precarious ground. "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none," as the adage goes, might be a useful perspective here. You have a devoted partner in your boyfriend, and you ought to consider the potential consequences before allowing these feelings for your friend to evolve; would exploring this crush truly benefit your life, or might it simply add complexity? It's critical that you weigh the emotional ramifications thoroughly. Although curiosity about your orientation is natural, it's essential to address this in a way that respects all parties involved. Relationships, after all, are intricate and deserve careful deliberation, particularly when others' emotions are at stake.