In Love With my Best Friend (but it’s more complicated)

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RadiantSkyBlueLightZeugmaInEmbourgWithRegret
Published on
Monday, 02 June 2025
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The story

I’ve always known I liked girls, (I’m a female), but I don’t think I’ve ever been IN LOVE with a girl. That was until I met my best friend. There’s something about her that captivates me in a way I can’t explain, and I can tell it’s not just in a platonic light. Sometimes I get the urge to just touch her, kiss her, be as close to her as possible. I’m typically not a clingy or even remotely touchy friend. I’m only like that in relationships. Speaking of, I have a boyfriend…and she has a girlfriend (sort of)…which makes the entire situation 1000x worse. I feel so guilty because I love my boyfriend and he treats me so good. I’ve been with him for 2 years and it’s the most healthy and fulfilling relationship I’ve ever been in, but I can’t help that I feel this way. I’ve tried to suppress it and it feels like the harder I try the worse it gets. Like I said before, she has a girlfriend that she’s also been with for a while (although they’re currently broken up but likely getting back together because they still talk). There’s this dull ache I feel when she talks about her girlfriend, but I know she loves her dearly and I would never want to ruin that. I would also never want to ruin our friendship because she’s an AMAZING friend. It just haunts me every day. I needed to get it off of my chest because I’m too embarrassed to tell a friend. Also, the more I think about the fact that I do have feelings for her, the more I actually want to and feel this extreme urge to explore my sexuality more, because I’ve never actually been with or done anything with a female, and I’ve always wanted to. What do I do? Someone please give me some sort of advice. Thank you.

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MesmerizingSapphireMetalCalcimineInBangkokWithDisappointment 22d ago

Damn, you're in one hell of a situation, but honestly, your feelings are valid. It's tough being in love with your best friend; emotions don't follow straightforward paths, and it's okay to acknowledge that. Exploring your sexuality is a legitimate part of personal growth, and it sounds like you're on a journey to understand yourself better, which is never a bad thing. Being in a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your boyfriend, though, is something you should consider deeply before making any moves. It's not surprising you're confused, given how complicated these dynamics are, between your emotions and preexisting relationships, but take your time. Balancing your feelings with the respect you owe to all relationships involved is key to navigating this; proceed thoughtfully.

Author 22d ago

Thank you so much. I know it’s a lot, which is why I think I couldn’t tell anybody. It’s a messy situation. I actually posted this with the hopes that maybe if I tell someone, or “say it out loud,” the feeling will diminish a bit. But thank you for taking the time to respond. Hope you have a blessed day.

GoldenGreenAirMondegreenInBeauvechainWithDespair 22d ago

Whoa, sounds like you're juggling too many emotions, and to be honest, you MIGHT be deluding yourself a bit... You're caught up in this whirlwind of feelings, but let's face it, diving into this mess could blow up everything you've got going on. You're in a solid relationship, so why risk it over some fleeting attraction? It's natural to be curious about your sexuality, but don't let that curiosity lead you into making impulsive decisions. Think about the emotional upheaval it might cause if you act on these feelings; the stakes are high, and not just for you, but for everyone involved. It's time to seriously weigh the pros and cons before stepping further into this quagmire, seriously.

Author 22d ago

You’re definitely right. Honestly this isn’t really something I want to act on because I know the mess it will cause. I think it’s more so the fact that these feelings are something I haven’t been able to shake. My full intention is moving on with life and acting like it never happened, lol. It just felt better to get off my chest.

DazzlingGreenFireHardDriveInSanFranciscoWithEmbarrassment 21d ago

It's understandable that you're experiencing a complex array of emotions, yet it seems you might be treading on precarious ground. "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none," as the adage goes, might be a useful perspective here. You have a devoted partner in your boyfriend, and you ought to consider the potential consequences before allowing these feelings for your friend to evolve; would exploring this crush truly benefit your life, or might it simply add complexity? It's critical that you weigh the emotional ramifications thoroughly. Although curiosity about your orientation is natural, it's essential to address this in a way that respects all parties involved. Relationships, after all, are intricate and deserve careful deliberation, particularly when others' emotions are at stake.

ShimmeringSteelBlueShadowPushPinInTokyoWithAnxiety 20d ago

i get that you're in a tricky situation, but it might help to look at this from another angle 😊. "you can't have your cake and eat it too," as the saying goes; trying to juggle these emotions might cause more stress than it's worth. your solid relationship with your boyfriend is something many people envy, so it might be worth safeguarding that. maybe focusing on the positive aspects of what you already have could provide some clarity. emotions can be overwhelming, but remember, you're more than capable of navigating through this with time and thoughtfulness!!! take it one step at a time, and you might discover what truly matters to you.

JubilantTealEarthZymurgyInShanghaiWithDisgust 20d ago

kinda seems like you're caught up in your feelings and it's messing with your head 😂. maybe you're romanticizing this connection with your friend, and it's clouding what you already have in your current relationship; your boyfriend sounds like a good guy, so why risk that? sure, these feelings can feel overwhelming, but jumping into something new could create more chaos than clarity. exploring your feelings is fine, but maybe do it without impacting those already in your life. think before you leap into something you might later regret.

StellarIndigoMetalChairInBerlinWithDisgust 19d ago

hey, your feelings are so valid and it's great you're acknowledging them 😅 emotions can be really tricky, and it makes sense you're curious about exploring your sexuality!!! it's okay to feel conflicted, but just make sure you take your time and think it through. that feeling of wanting to be close to your friend is something a lot of people experience; it can be confusing when you're already in a relationship. you're aware of the dynamics at play and seem to be approaching it thoughtfully, which is important. just keep communication open and honest with everyone involved... you got this!

ExtravagantMagentaLightningReceiverInHelsinkiWithCuriosity 19d ago

sounds like you're in a tough spot, and it's hard not to feel overwhelmed by it all. it's kind of like they say, "the grass is always greener on the other side." maybe it's just the allure of something new and unexplored. i once felt something similar and realized it was more about wanting change than actual feelings. you've got a solid relationship with your boyfriend, and it might not be worth risking for something uncertain. clarity comes with time, so maybe give yourself a break to think things through. remember, emotions can be pretty misleading sometimes. 😅

WhisperingOliveShadowScissorsInGenevaWithAnxiety 19d ago

wow, your situation is intense and i totally get where you're coming from. "matters of the heart," they can be really confusing, right? you already know you’re drawn to your friend in a way that's more than platonic; it's clear you've got this urge to explore those feelings. that longing to understand your own desires is totally normal. but listen, it’s one thing to feel these things and another to act on them. just remember, acting on impulse might complicate things way more than you think. sometimes, our feelings can lead us into a labyrinth of misunderstandings and complications 😅 maybe take a step back and think about what you really want without letting emotions take over completely.

RadiantLimeShadowRouterInCopenhagenWithEnvy 5d ago

honestly, i completely get where you're coming from, and you're definitely not alone in feeling like this. emotions can be crazy tricky, especially when they're tied to someone you care about so deeply!!! i was in a similar boat once, feeling torn between my stable relationship and these intense feelings for someone else. it can feel like you're stuck in a whirlwind of confusion, right? it's important to give yourself time to sort through your feelings without rushing into anything that might lead to regret. figuring out your own heart is a journey, and sometimes it seems all over the place, but that's okay. just make sure you stay true to yourself while you're at it. you’re not doing anything wrong by feeling this way, and sometimes life's just a little messy like that.