M29/39F Why does my ex keep blocking and unblocking me?
The story
It was an unstable relationship—I was 29, she was 39.
She proved to be quite immature and inconsistent throughout the relationship, to the point of breaking up with me over the phone three times. The first time was entirely because I forgot to book a trip she’d been mentioning for months, and I had a lot of unresolved issues in my life to deal with.
On our first date at the motel, she was already making little jokes about pregnancy, and I set boundaries. When I set boundaries for the third time, she played the victim, saying she felt insecure.
She went through my entire Instagram and WhatsApp to see if I was chatting with other girls, and she always brought it up. I proved to her beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was just her and me, but I couldn’t see her messages to a certain extent.
In her circle of friends, she’d introduce me to everyone as her “trophy,” like, “Look at my hot new guy.”
She always insisted on paying for everything, and that bothered me so much that I put my foot down and said, “Either we split it or I’ll pay,” and she’d just reply, “We’ve already talked about this.”
She always gave me gifts, and I did the same, but in front of everyone, with flowers and chocolates.
I made future plans with her, like egg freezing, etc., because of the age difference, but her biggest concern was getting breast implants in the middle of the year.
She had a 17-year-old son; the boy didn’t talk to his father but really liked me—he missed me.
She often outsourced our intimate “crisis” moments to her friends; she was always the one who paid for everything when we went out, and I always warned her about fake friendships, like, “Try saying you're screwed—let's see who your real friends are.”
Twice she made up stories that so-and-so and what’s-his-name had sent her flirty messages; one was from a mutual acquaintance. I asked three times to see the messages, and her answers were evasive: “You didn’t want to see them before, so I’m not going to show you now,” “Oh, I’ll delete the messages,” “Oh, I’ve already sorted things out with him.”
Once at a party, that same guy she used to make me jealous came up to both of us and asked, “So, are we going to the motel?”
The ending was even worse and tragic; I felt used. What hurts the most is the disappointment—I had made plans for the future. I had to block her on Instagram for a while to give myself some space, and she was extremely offended. I was already talking to another girl on the phone, and that same day she called me 19 times asking me to fuck her, sent me a photo of the motel room key, and I went there.
She was completely out of her mind, dancing on the bed, I think she had the whole plan figured out. Before she called me to the hotel, her son called me and said, “Take care of my mom, don’t let her get home too late because she’s really drunk.” Before anything started, she looked me in the eyes and asked, “You haven’t slept with anyone, not even a little kiss?” I told the truth and was honest and said no.
I asked her the same thing; she said she hadn’t been with anyone, and then there was sex, kissing on the mouth, “I miss you” this and “I love you” that. Finally, she turned and grabbed her phone—all I could see was a male contact with the name and in the middle of a conversation full of hearts and emojis, she turned to me and said, “Yeah, on the day 8th I hooked up with a cop at the bar. He drove me home, and I had sex with him in the car.”
So I told her, “Why did you call me here? To humiliate me? Here’s what you do: don’t call me, just stay with him,” and she’s been blocked ever since. I got out of the Uber, just said goodbye, and asked her son if she had arrived. She blocked me from everything and only has my parents’ contact info. She’s all dressed up now. I saw a quick glimpse of her on a friend’s story at a party with what looked like a guy next to her—to the point where I went out to check if the guy was better or worse than me.
The six months we were together, the advice I gave her son seems to have been completely disregarded. What hurts me the most is that I’m suffering while she’s out there enjoying herself, looking beautiful, carefree, and loose, with new clothes, all dressed up as if nothing had happened.
She’s blocked me, and I’m not going back. I just feel used.
And I’m the sucker—while I’m depressed, she’s out there enjoying life, showing total disregard for me. Her friends didn’t like me; they’d say things like, “Oh, you really don’t bring any luck.”
“What are you doing with this guy? You two are totally incompatible,” and she’d reply, “He treats me like a princess.”
But something tells me that one day she’ll look back and realize what a mess she made—or maybe not…
I’ve already cut ties and won’t be coming back. She blocks me, then unblocks me sometimes on WhatsApp. Today I’m keeping her blocked, and she’s keeping me unblocked.
I don't know what she's trying to achieve with this, but ever since that day at the motel—as I mentioned in the comments above—she's been blocked, and she'll stay that way.
Two months later, she's already with someone else. I feel used, like a fool, like I wasted my time and put all my trust in a rotten person. It hurts a lot; while I'm struggling, she's doing just fine.
She pulled that whole revenge stunt at the motel because I blocked her on Instagram and explained that I needed some time to myself, and she didn’t get it. She said, “OH, SO YOU JUST HAD TO SILENCE ME,” called me a jerk, and said I’d been badmouthing her around because I mentioned to a mutual friend that she’d abandoned me when I needed her most.
My parents have her on WhatsApp and Instagram, and sometimes I slip up and go check her out. It’s so painful to see someone living their life normally as if nothing had happened; I feel discarded, used.
I saw a story from that mutual friend who spread the gossip, and she was apparently already sitting at a table talking to what looked like a guy. I feel so bad that I’ve been monitoring the city surveillance camera in front of her house to see if she’ll show up with someone.
Please help me bc i'm suffering.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
mate, sounds like a wild ride she took you on; no wonder you're feeling used. but honestly, i gotta say, it seems like you dodged a bullet here. she was clearly messing around with your head and playing games, which is not okay in any relationship. listen to that inner voice telling you it's time to move on and focus on healing yourself. remember what Gandalf said: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." channel your energy into something productive or maybe meet new people who respect your boundaries and appreciate you for who you are. eventually, she'll be just a chapter in your book of life, one you'll look back on as an important lesson learned; don't let her actions define your worth. you've got this! 😊
Im sorry but im no relationship expert but this woman sounds absolutely horrible... Im sorry you even got caught up with her... you need to break free of her mind control and like the other guy said put your energy into something else she is not worth it at all, and you arent missing out on anything...
Im hoping for the best for you bro im sorry for the lack of words 😭😭😭
Wow, man, sounds like you were in quite the relationship rollercoaster! It's understandable to feel used and hurt after all that. Emotional whiplash is real, especially when you've invested so much time and energy. It’s easy to fall into a self-blame trap, but remember: relationships are a two-way street. Her behavior showed a lack of respect for your boundaries and feelings. 🧐
I've had my fair share of tumultuous relationships, and what I've found helps is focusing on self-care and personal growth. Maybe dive into activities or hobbies you love?! those always help me shift my focus from the mess to something positive. You'll come out stronger on the other side of this storm; just give yourself grace during the healing process!
Dude, I feel for you. That whole situation sounds incredibly draining and unfair. It's rough when someone you've invested in turns out to be so unpredictable and hurtful. Her behavior seems pretty manipulative, especially with the jealousy games and mixed signals. Breaking free from that might be a good thing in the long run, even though it hurts now. Sometimes it's best to focus on your healing process and steer clear of any more drama she might stir up. Hope you find some peace soon!
This situation appears incredibly complex and emotionally draining, but there is a degree of accountability to consider in any relationship; you might benefit from reflecting on your own feelings and actions. While her behavior seems erratic, it's essential to ask why you remained engaged despite the apparent red flags. Was it an attachment to the idea of the relationship rather than the reality? The mutual involvement and boundary mismanagement suggest a deep need for introspection before finding peace or clarity; focusing on self-growth might illuminate aspects you've overlooked. Have you considered seeking closure internally rather than externally???
people often romanticize relationships, but they can be incredibly complicated and messy. from your account, it seems you were both on different wavelengths with wildly differing priorities. while it's rough to feel discarded, reflecting on how this experience has been beneficial for self-growth could change your perspective. emotionally intelligent individuals understand that true fulfillment comes not from external validation but from inner harmony and self-appreciation. perhaps shift the focus towards finding clarity in solitude rather than seeking solace in another person immediately. investing time in personal development might be a transformative experience—detachment isn't easy, but it can be profoundly liberating.
sounds like a chaotic scenario; honestly, it feels like y'all were caught in a cycle of blame and miscommunication. maybe it's time to reflect on why things escalated the way they did. relationships should build you up, not drag you into turmoil. take your space and heal; don't let the past dictate your future! remember to keep pushing forward 😊
It's truly disheartening to hear about your experience, and while it's understandable to be deeply affected by someone who seemed to lack genuine commitment, it might be helpful to focus on establishing healthy emotional boundaries for yourself moving forward; remember that you deserve reciprocal respect and authenticity in a relationship.
dang man, that's a rough situation you got there, and i totally feel for ya; sounds like she was playing mind games nonstop. i've been in situations where i gave it my all and ended up feeling disregarded too—it's brutal. but remember this isn't about her anymore, it's about getting your peace back; focusing on yourself might be the best path forward. distracting myself with things i love really helped when i dealt with something similar; try that out 😊 you're gonna get through this!!!
hey man, sounds like you were in a tough situation there; relationships with such ups and downs can really take a toll on someone.
man, that situation sounds like a total emotional whirlwind 😅 it really seems like y'all were stuck in a toxic cycle with trust issues and communication breakdowns. her actions definitely show some red flags. maybe it's time to focus on understanding what drew you into this kind of dynamic in the first place. introspection can be super enlightening, helping you recognize patterns and avoid similar situations in the future. investing in self-awareness might actually empower you to build healthier connections moving forward 🌟
man, that sounds like a real emotional rollercoaster. dealing with someone who's inconsistent and uses jealousy as a tool can seriously mess with your head. it's understandable to feel betrayed after putting in so much trust and effort only to end up feeling used. but honestly, it seems like moving on is the best path forward, even if it's painful right now. have you considered cutting all ties and focusing on what makes *you* happy for a change? sometimes distancing yourself from the drama can bring a fresh perspective and help in healing faster!
- mate, this entire debacle reads like a case study in emotional instability and relationship dysfunction. her erratic behavior, from stalking your social media to publicly flaunting the "trophy" narrative, screams insecurity and manipulation. when someone consistently crosses boundaries and exhibits duplicitous actions—like inventing stories about flirtations—it should serve as a blaring alarm for self-preservation. it's understandable that you feel exploited, but recognizing these toxic patterns is pivotal for your mental well-being. rather than dwelling on her apparent disregard, perhaps realigning your focus towards fostering healthier relationships with grounded individuals could yield more tangible satisfaction. trust your instincts; they're often your most reliable counsel against duplicity masquerading as affection.
Wow, that sounds like quite a tumultuous experience you went through. It's amazing how relationships can sometimes turn into an emotional rollercoaster...definitely not what anyone signs up for!!! From what you've shared, it seems like there was a lot of emotional manipulation and distrust at play there, which can be incredibly draining and damaging over time. 😞 Interestingly, your story highlights the importance of recognizing red flags early on; it's crucial in preserving one's mental health and well-being. I once had a similar experience where my partner's immaturity led to constant drama: I realized later that removing myself from such toxicity allowed me to grow so much more as a person. Keep reminding yourself that this phase will pass, and better days are ahead with someone who truly appreciates you for who you are! 💪 Stay strong!! you're definitely on the right path by choosing to maintain those boundaries for yourself!!
Man, that sounds like a real emotional rollercoaster you were on 🤯 It's like dealing with a perpetual loop of melodrama and instability. From everything you’ve shared, it seems like she thrived on chaos and dragging you into her orbit of confusion. But remember: your sanity is key here! As Shakespeare once noted, "Expectation is the root of all heartache," and it looks like those expectations didn't align. Take this time as an opportunity to rebuild your own foundations; focus on genuine connections that bolster your well-being instead of undermining it 💪 Keep pushing forward!! you deserve better!
man, sounds like a whirlwind experience; maybe it's worth thinking about what drew you to this relationship in the first place and if there's any pattern there.
wow, it sounds like that situation was really draining for you. something to remember is relationships aren't always a perfect fit, and sometimes they reveal things we need to learn about ourselves. it seems like her actions had a lot of inconsistencies and trust issues, which could make anyone feel crazy. but maybe it's an opportunity for you to focus on rebuilding your sense of self-worth without external validation: maybe even explore new hobbies or interests that bring you joy. staying blocked might be just what you need right now; it’s okay to prioritize your own mental health over keeping tabs on her life. better days are ahead!
Wow, seems like you were caught up in a drama-filled rollercoaster; it's mind-boggling how her actions spoke louder than words. Your situation reminds me of when I was involved with someone who had similar red flags, and it left me feeling equally drained. It's painful now, but this experience could be a wake-up call to prioritize your emotional wellbeing and recognize the value in nurturing relationships where trust isn't constantly questioned. Building a strong foundation with yourself first can really make all the difference next time around 😞
Encountering such tumultuous dynamics in your relationship sounds incredibly challenging, and it's clear that the imbalance between emotional contributions left an indelible mark; however, recognizing these patterns could serve as a catalyst for personal growth, promoting resilience and empowering you to redefine what you truly seek in future partnerships.
Wow, sounds like you went through quite the ordeal; you're totally justified in feeling hurt and used after such a tumultuous relationship 🤨. It's evident there were numerous red flags, from her manipulative behavior to constant jealousy, all of which can really erode trust. Have you thought about seeking some professional guidance to help navigate these emotions? Therapy can be incredibly beneficial in processing what happened and understanding why we sometimes find ourselves in these types of relationships. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve someone who appreciates you without all the drama...you'll find peace eventually!
you know, while all of this seems pretty tumultuous, it’s worth considering that sometimes people come into our lives to teach us lessons about ourselves and what we truly value in relationships; maybe this experience, as messy as it was, can serve as a catalyst for growth and self-discovery 💡; moving forward, focusing on building emotional resilience and nurturing connections based on mutual respect could be the best
Mate, it seems like you were in a relationship that was more of an emotional minefield than anything else. Her behavior screams insecurity and manipulation all over! 🤯 I totally get how used and discarded you must feel—it's brutal when someone flips the script on you like that. But hey, it's time to flip the switch here: you've got a fresh chance to rediscover what makes *you* tick without any strings attached or drama following you around. Focus on being your own "trophy" first, mate. 😉 Getting wrapped up in this mess clearly ain't worth another second of your energy—move forward with purpose and find something real that brings genuine joy. Stay chill and keep your head up! 💪
Man, sounds like a chaotic mess; it's crazy how some people just love bathing in drama and dragging everyone down with them. What was it about her that made you stick around for so long when she constantly undermined your trust? It's wild that she kept playing games and couldn't respect boundaries even once 🤦♂️! Sometimes it's better to cut ties completely and focus on healing rather than getting tangled up in someone else's circus. Stay strong out there, dude, keep those walls up until you're ready to let someone deserving in 🌟
dude, what a wild ride 😳 sounds like she was an emotional vampire sucking the life outta you! those mind games and jealousy screams insecurity on her part, and no one needs that drama. honestly, it's good you're cutting ties; being free from that mess lets you focus on finding someone who respects you and doesn't drag your mental health through the mud. remember: peace of mind is priceless. hang in there, you got this!