Madness 2.0
The story
I'm not really sure where to start. I'm exhausted thinking about it, trying to understand it all. The person I love most (I've never loved someone to this level before) we've had a rocky relationship/ friendship for 5 years. I’ve been blocked around 30-40 times in those 5 years. She'd beg to be with me or see me or get upset with me for not talking to her, but every time she talks to someone, she ends up getting blocked for calling out her behaviors and such. But recently, we've had 10 and a half months of good, close, very close contact.
Her blowing up my phone every day, begging to see me every weekend, needs to be near me. Well, she acted weird a month ago, and then she said she was spiraling and needed to focus on herself. I had a feeling that she was doing something like talking to someone again. On Friday, she finally admitted it. She’s now acting like it never even mattered.
We got into an argument for about an hour, then just joked around for another hour. I ended up kicking her off all my subscriptions, and she, in turn, made her Spotify profile private and removed herself from one of our playlists(we have two). I'm not sure what to do anymore. I hate when she acts like this. I feel extremely hurt and betrayed, but all I want is her. I know I'm slowly starting to think myself to exhaustion. She has recently blocked me on everything after three weeks of no contact, the week before this I noticed she unadded me and I panicked and messaged her several times and left a voice mail. She read the messages and didn’t say anything, my message was” Hey Sorry I haven’t reached out. I’ve just been focusing out on myself. I hope you’re doing well. I’m going to take it you probably blocked me…I just wanted to say hi and check on you… I’m sorry if you’re upset with me for not reaching out and saying something. I just really need to get out my spiral. I love you bestie. So if you could just let me know you understand or are there”.Yes, I know she's not good, and I deserve better, but I can't pull myself away from her. I no longer know what to do. Can you please give me advice on what to do?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
bro, honestly, sounds like a classic toxic loop. you're just stuck in this cycle of blocking and unblocking like it's a sport or something 🤦♂️ it's clear she's playing games and it's draining you. why keep chasing when she's giving you the runaround? sometimes you gotta hit pause on these exhausting dramas. maybe take some time to focus on yourself instead of trying to fix someone else.
Sounds like an emotional rodeo gone rogue, but sometimes you gotta hit pause and ask if you're holding onto love or just nostalgia.