I’m 20 years old.

I’m a guy, and up to this day I’ve never had sex. Not because I never wanted to, and not because I don’t have desires or feelings. I simply live in a country where people and the government are extremely sensitive about anything related to sex, to the point that a person has to hide their natural needs like they’re committing a crime.

To be honest, I’ve always been attracted to women older than me. Women who are more mature, experienced, and emotionally intelligent. But every time, there’s either fear of being judged, social restrictions, or the feeling that even having these desires is somehow forbidden.

Sometimes the loneliness becomes exhausting. Pretending everything is normal while inside you’re full of desire, curiosity, frustration, and emotional pressure.

I honestly don’t know what the solution is.

I don’t know how someone is supposed to deal with these feelings when there’s neither the possibility of a healthy relationship nor the freedom to even talk openly about it.

If anyone has advice, experiences, or any kind of solution, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing it.

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