the triggering
The story
i woke up one day last month and something just clicked, not like a loud bang but more like the slow unlocking of a door i didn’t know existed; the kind that creaks when it opens and makes you feel something’s been waiting behind it for years. i was sitting at the kitchen table, eating cereal that went soggy way too fast and listening to her talk about some neighborhood meeting or whatever, and it hit me—i don’t love her. i respect her, i think she’s a good person, she’s loyal, she’s patient, she’s stable. but love? no. i don’t feel it. i don’t feel that fire anymore. haven’t in years. i think i kept going cause it felt easier to stay than to reset. like when your software keeps crashing but you don’t reinstall it because you’re afraid you’ll lose your files. that’s me. stuck on version 1.0 when i should’ve been on something newer, something that fits the current hardware of who i am. and i tried, i really did. i read books like "the five love languages" and watched those couples’ therapy podcasts and tried mimicking what they do. but nothing stuck. everything was like applying duct tape to a cracked foundation. no offense to her, really, i mean it. but how can you fake what doesn’t exist anymore? how long are you supposed to pretend that the system is fine when the core is corrupted?
maybe you’ll say i’m selfish or broken or that i should’ve figured this out earlier, maybe even before the wedding or at least before we decided to adopt a dog together. and you’re probably right. but this realization didn’t come from some dramatic event or external stimulus, it came quietly, like a notification you ignore too many times until it fills the whole screen. so i’ve started planning. not cheating, not ghosting her, just slowly building a framework for my reset. i’ve updated my resume, reached out to a few friends in other cities, thought about what it’d mean to just… start over. tabula rasa, as they say. no hard feelings, just honest reevaluation. i feel like life should be lived with intention, and if we’re just running on routines and habits, aren’t we just slowly dying instead of living? i want to live. i want to wake up one day and feel like my choices match my heart, not my obligations. is that wrong? maybe you’ve felt it too, that split between duty and desire, where one pulls you deeper into routine and the other tugs at something raw and real. i’m not blaming her, she deserves real love, not a placeholder husband going through motions. and i? i deserve to stop gaslighting myself into thinking numbness is normal. if you’ve ever felt that, like you’re a spectator in your own life, tell me, what did you do? how did you find the courage to hit reset without detonating everything around you?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Wow, man, I can totally relate to this. Life’s too short to be stuck in a routine that's just dragging you down. 😅 It's like what they say, “life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Sounds like you're doing some deep soul-searching, and that’s important. Listen, it's tough to come to terms with stuff like this, but honesty is the best policy, not just with her, but more with yourself. Keep pushing for that fresh start, you deserve to be happy and feel alive! 🌟 Way to stay true to your heart, and best of luck on the “tabula rasa”—sometimes, ya just gotta do what feels right for you.
I understand where you're coming from, but I've got to say, your perspective raises some concerns for me. 🤔 While I get that feeling stuck in a routine is tough, I can't help but think about the importance of "commitment" and "perseverance" in long-term relationships; relationships ebb and flow, and expecting constant fireworks might be unrealistic. Your situation reminds me of a time when I felt the urge to hit refresh, but I chose to work through things because giving up wasn't in my nature. Emotions can be deceptive, especially if you're only viewing them from one angle. What makes me pause is the idea of 'starting over' without fully exploring ways to reinvigorate what you have. It's like swapping your phone instead of just updating the software. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and sometimes it's about finding new ways to love the same person. I genuinely hope you find what you're looking for, but maybe reconsider whether a complete reset is truly the best path forward.
hey, i get where you’re coming from, but gotta say, feels like you might be focusing too much on the “grass is greener” syndrome here 😬; relationships require maintenance like any other complex system. sure, there are “core updates” that need to happen internally, but sometimes it’s more about finding new compatibility measures rather than completely rebooting everything. like they say in the industry, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” it’s crucial to differentiate between temporary bugs and a full system failure. when my own relationship hit a stagnant patch, turns out an honest conversation was the patch we needed. i hope you find clarity, but maybe worth reassessing if a whole new setup is necessary.
hey, totally get what you’re saying and I’ve been there too. sometimes the “operating system” of a relationship just becomes incompatible over time; you try updates and patches, but they don’t always work. like when I was in a similar situation, I found myself running scripts to make things work, but nothing really solved the core issues. it’s like trying to run new software on old hardware—eventually, something’s gotta give. it’s tough, and you got my empathy. but, in my opinion, it’s crucial to ensure you’re living authentically. good luck figuring it out!!
hey, i see what you're saying but I kinda think you're jumping the gun a bit 😕; it's like you're pulling the plug before really diving into what might be worth saving. i get that it feels like nothing's working, but does that mean the whole setup is a dud, or are you just stuck in a rough patch? years into relationship like this, it’s easy to feel like you’re “running on outdated software,” but sometimes a little reprogramming can bring surprising results. anyway, not saying you’re wrong, but are you absolutely sure there's no more room for updates before switching systems entirely?
Honestly, I completely agree with you!!! Sometimes, you're just running outdated software in a relationship, and it's time for a major upgrade!!! Why waste time pretending when you can reset and start fresh??? It's crucial to live authentically and ensure your life aligns with your true intentions!!! Stay true to yourself and find what truly makes you happy!!!