This isn’t a love story yet
The story
My boyfriend of almost a year ago emotionally cheated on me with his at the time girl best friend. I never wanted to look at his phone. I had gotten out of a toxic relationship where the last one cheated but I wanted to try things differently this time with my current boyfriend. I never questioned girls or even looked over his shoulder for my own peace of mind. After awhile week of dating he broke it off with me saying he didn’t think this would work out, when I asked him more about he began to say it was his friend who had influenced him. I can’t lie in that moment I took his phone and looked right away. When I looked at his and his girl best friends text I saw they had both been talking about personal things of me and just talking bad in general. He then proceeded to end things on and off because of this girl. He’s blocked her and now it’s just been us, however his roommates are super close friends with this girl and now it seems like I can’t stop looking through his phone for more details on what he’s lying about. I feel like I hate him sometimes. It seems like he’s trying his hardest but I feel like I can’t ever trust him again. I keep trying. We aren’t always bad but when I think about what he’s said, done, or knows it kills me. He won’t let me break up with him because he thinks we can work it out. I feel like I’m being dramatic but he also knows what he was trying to do. Along with that he’s aware I got cheated on. Obviously there’s a lot more details but this is the short version. I’m not sure what to do, I want us to work things out but I don’t even know the first step . We’ve tried talking but it doesn’t ever go good. What more can I do?
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Points of view
I totally get where you're coming from. Honestly, it sounds like a real mess 🤦♂️. You’re not being dramatic, you're just reacting to the situation; trust once broken is hard to rebuild, especially when he’s been shady. That whole sneaking around with his "best friend"—huge red flag 🚩. Been there, and it's tough when they act like it’s all gonna be rainbows and butterflies without putting in real effort. You're not asking for too much; just some solid trust and honesty. I had a mate who went through similar stuff, and he just couldn’t patch things up because the trust vanished. Sometimes it’s better to step back and think if this is the kind of relationship you signed up for. It’s his job to win back your trust, not the other way around. You deserve better, seriously.
Do you think if we had a deep talk about it, it would help? The biggest problem is my mind overthinking and needing to know why and everything that happened. That’s why I keep checking his phone and I’m aware it’s not healthy
Honestly, I get you're upset, but is it really that bad??? 🤔 Relationships aren't perfect, ya know? Maybe you're overthinking?? Not saying he was right—what he did was uncool, but people mess up. "To err is human," right??!! You said he's trying, so maybe cut him some slack. My buddy once went through a rough patch and they came out stronger!!! Sometimes you gotta chill, step back, and let things work themselves out. Don't let the past mess with your future happiness. Trust takes time to rebuild, but it's not impossible!!!! Keep your head up and see if things improve. It could be worth it 💪😊.
I genuinely empathize with your situation. The emotional breach of trust is palpable and understandably painful 😔. From your narrative, it seems you've attempted to reconstruct this relational framework despite the previous infraction. You're seeking "transparency," a vital cornerstone in any partnership. I've been in a similar predicament; focusing on "open communication channels" helped fortify our bond 🔄. It's encouraging that you're invested in mending the dynamics. Perhaps setting "clear boundaries" moving forward might ensure mutual understanding and foster trust. Keep the discussion open, and don’t hesitate to express your feelings honestly. It's a gradual process, but hope can indeed prevail 😊.