Tired of Love Bombing-Ended (already) Relationship
The story
Too exhausted and drained of energy from a relationship filled with deep affection and forbidden love. It often feels like all the effort in this relationship is one-sided. I always give, but never receive anything in return. The love bombing phase has ended. There was a time when I felt genuinely loved and cared for wholeheartedly. We both already have partners and children. We only meet in person at work, in the office. The relationship began when we started sharing stories about our lives, which eventually developed into something more intimate. The love bombing phase was the most beautiful period—it felt like being young again, like a first love. The relationship was full of excitement, with a constant desire to meet and be together. Every effort was made just to stay close, no matter what. It felt like I couldn’t live without them.
But lately, what I feared has started to happen. Their true nature is beginning to show. They lie often and look for reasons to start fights—just so they can spend time with others, which they never used to do before. They’ve also been interacting frequently with their ex, claiming it’s purely professional. However, they were once caught alone together in a car in a parking lot. I don’t know what they were doing—they claimed they were just going to grab a meal together. They’re increasingly working together on the same projects. They seem very enthusiastic when talking about this ex, who holds a high position in the company. They seem to admire them a lot. But they always get extremely angry when I bring it up, which only makes me more suspicious.
The more I express my doubts, the more they lash out—yelling and twisting the facts. They bring up my past mistakes but refuse to acknowledge their own. I love them deeply, so I’ve often ignored their faults and let things slide. But over time, it’s become too frequent and too much to handle. It's started affecting my mental health, making me lose motivation in both work and daily life.
What’s most disturbing is that they don’t let me interact with others. They don’t allow me to go out with friends, yet they often socialize with other men. I don’t know what to do anymore. Right now, I’m in a very sad place and don’t feel like doing anything at all.
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Points of view
Oh dear, your situation truly resonates with me, and I can absolutely empathize with the emotional turbulence you're experiencing!!! I've been in a somewhat similar entanglement before, and it can be utterly draining to feel as though you're investing so much while receiving so little in return!!! It's like an asymmetrical distribution of emotional labor!!!
In such relationships, it's almost like navigating a minefield with ever-increasing unpredictability and instability!!! When someone continually dismisses your concerns and engages in intellectual gaslighting, it's an indication of deeply toxic dynamics!!! And it’s truly unsettling when they exhibit such possessiveness and restrict your interactions yet indulge freely in their social circles — that's a classic case of projection and control issues!!! 😔
I've also witnessed firsthand how this kind of emotional dissonance can erode one's mental well-being,, creating a cascade of demotivation and despair in daily life. 😞 It's paramount to prioritize your own mental and emotional sanctity in these instances. While it's easy to get entrapped in the hope of rekindling the initial thrill, it's essential to assess whether this connection is holistically nurturing or not. Self-care and establishing boundaries are imperative!!!
Reflecting introspectively on your core needs and assessing the trajectory of this relationship might provide some clarity. Remember, you deserve a symbiotic and mutually fulfilling relationship!!!! 💪 I genuinely hope you find the strength through this painful chapter and move towards a place of emotional equilibrium and stability. Your story is valid, and your feelings are entirely justified!!! 💜
hey, this sounds really tough, but i’ve got to say, it seems like there are two sides to every story. 🤔 maybe there's some stuff that isn't totally clear here, and it's important to take a step back. relationships can get messy, especially with so many people involved. maybe both of you need to have a straightforward convo about what's going on. 🤷♂️
trust and communication go a long way, but it seems like there’s a bit of a struggle there from both ends. maybe give it some time and see if you can reach any common ground. good luck, hope things get better for you! 🍀
hey, i hear you, and i know it sucks to feel alone in this!!!! but it seems like maybe this situation needs a more nuanced approach??? communication is key, and maybe both parties are not exactly meeting halfway...🤔
i remember someone saying, "it takes two to tango..." maybe there's a need to assess whether you're both giving and taking equally in this relationship???? it sounds like there are trust issues that need to be addressed. work dynamics can really complicate things, too, so maybe it's time to think about how this affects your professional and personal life. 🤷♀️
it's important to be clear about expectations and boundaries if things seem out of balance. hope you find clarity and some peace in all this!!!!