People are catching on
The story
I’ve been more “sad” recently, to the point people are noticing and calling me out for it.
Honestly it’s super fucking embarrassing hearing your extra help teacher asking, “Is everything alright? You look like something bad happened??”. And then your friends tell you you’re a “weird kid” and “your other friends think you’re weird” and those are the same people you’ve helped get real mental help…?
I don’t believe im a bad person..? I’m nice- I try to be positive in the worst of the times, but now I’m just free falling. And nobody’s here to catch me, like how I did for others. No one truly cares for me,..? And honestly it’s… fucking awful. It’s little things piling on top of each other. “You got 2 points off your quiz, maybe you should study more.” Okay that’s fair. “You got 85/100 what a joke.” It’s not even bad,..? I’m sorry you’re spoiled rotten, all those fancy fucking tutors and teachers outside of school, the way you go out to eat every week while I’m stuck eating the scraps. It’s not even that I’m fully mad about grades, it’s something deeper, NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH.
But one thing I’m so fucking mad and upset with myself with is that I ruined my school poem, I have such deep feelings I can’t get them out. I’ll attach it next.
Trees zipped by,
And rocks flung off the tracks
An unmistakable rhythm of a heart in my grasp,
With torn leather beneath me,
Shrieking breaks,
And murmurs.
My stomach was churning with anticipation,
And my heart stuck in my throat.
I crinkled the wrapper between my thumb and forefinger,
Soothing my frayed nerves,
Waiting to leave for the aquarium for the first time.
Excitement.
Excitement,
This is my excitement.
And it’s paranoia,
I overthink every little thing.
“What if I hate the fish? What if I get off at the wrong stop? What if-”
My thoughts were swirling together like debris in a tornado.
“This is supposed to be relaxing-”, I thought to myself,
The conductor cut off my thoughts with
his booming voice,
“Next stop, (blank) Station.”
I know I could’ve done better. I could’ve fucking made it perfect, but I would’ve crumbled if I did. And this isn’t just about fish, it’s about whether or not I’ll be able to be good. Good enough to be chosen. God this is so stupid.. this was really pointless but what I mean is that I’m so frustrated and sick of everything, the repeated failure.
(Context im a 13 y/o girl in 8th grade if it does anything.)
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Man, being 13 is a wild ride, huh?? First off, it's totally normal to feel all over the place at your age!!! People often forget how intense everything feels in middle school. You're juggling so much right now, and it seems like you're giving a lot of yourself without getting the same support back. That's rough.
Your poem shows you're deep and thoughtful, though! It's okay that things aren't perfect—imperfection is what makes art relatable!! Don't be too hard on yourself! Remember, this isn't forever; you'll find people who genuinely appreciate you for who you are. Just take things one day at a time!! 🙌
it appears you're navigating a complex emotional labyrinth, and it's important to acknowledge how overwhelming it can feel when perceived expectations and self-doubt interlace with daily interactions; even though you're immersed in these turbulent emotions now, remember that growth often arises from overcoming challenges, and you possess an extraordinary resilience that will guide you through this tumultuous phase.
i totally get it; it's like you're caught in a vortex of expectations, and no one's handing you a map. 😟 being in 8th grade can feel like you're constantly being scrutinized under a microscope by teachers, peers, even yourself. your poem is actually impressive—capturing emotions so vividly isn't easy, and you've done that; it speaks to the uncertainty we all feel sometimes. i remember feeling swamped with similar thoughts at your age, questioning if i was ever good enough too. just know that these feelings won't last forever and are part of growing up! sometimes people just don’t see what’s right in front of them until later on. keep being you—strong, thoughtful, and candid—and those who truly matter will come around eventually! 🤞
Hey there! 😄 It really sounds like you're carrying a lot right now, and that's no small feat for an 8th grader. Isn't it interesting how people can be so quick to label someone as "weird" just because they're different from the norm??? It's tough when you're putting in the effort to support others only to feel unsupported yourself.
I gotta say your poem is pretty incredible; it's got this raw honesty that resonates deeply. Have you ever thought about what makes excitement feel so intertwined with paranoia? Maybe there's something to unpack there, almost like a hidden strength in navigating those mixed emotions. You're doing better than you think—your experiences are shaping who you'll become, and that's pretty powerful stuff!
Hey there! 😊 It sounds like you're in a bit of a whirlwind right now, and it's completely okay to feel overwhelmed by it all. Those moments when everyone seems to have an opinion about how you should be feeling or doing can really pile up; it's tough. But remember, those people don't define your worth or the amazing potential you hold. (by the way, I loved your poem!)
being called out like that when you're already feeling low is tough; it's like, "can i catch a break?" people can be so clueless sometimes. your poem honestly rocks and shows some real insight 👍 art's all about expressing what's inside, not perfection! just hang in there, it'll get better; remember that there's always light at the end of the tunnel ;) keep being you, and don't let anyone make you feel less than amazing 🌟