Am I excused? Or am I rude?
The story
Today, I was doing my homework.
Let's take in account that in a few hours, I have to choose which options to take for the 2 years that will come in high school, tomorrow I have a test in math, a test in English, 1 presentation in Dutch over my origins, 1 presentation in History over France and its castles.
My father came back from work (at 16:00), he started talking to me nonstop and asking questions about my life, when It's clearly obvious I'm occupied. When he asked me another pointless question, I didn't hear it (since my sister was blasting music) so I responded with a "What?".
I suspect that my tone could've come off as rude, but I was annoyed and I yelled loudly 'cause my sister was BLASTING music.
He started screaming at me, telling me "What did you say to me?" as if he hadn't heard it. He was angry, again, because apparently, I'm always disrespectful and should respond with a "What did you say, sir?" when I just want to be left alone.
They're my parents, but they shouldn't be parents when they're clearly not ready. They know how to take care of kids because they take care of kids everyday! But they don't take care of their own because we're "grown up" (I'm 15). But when the timing is prefect, we're suddenly too "young" and we're wrong and they're "right".
To hell with parents.
When your child tells you about their trauma, their problems and open up to you, you shouldn't denigrate them, invalidate their feelings or START TALKING ABOUT HOW TIRED YOU ARE ABOUT YOUR WORK WHEN THEIR TRAUMA IS YOU.
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Points of view
I understand your frustration, and it’s clear you have a lot on your plate; however, it's essential to remember that everyone's got their own battles to fight. my old man always used to tell me, "patience is a virtue." it's kinda hard to keep the balance between "grown-up" and "too young"—I've been there too!!!! 🤔 parents might seem out of touch sometimes, but they're navigating life just like we are. once, I had a similar spat with my dad about him not paying attention, but it turned out he was dealing with stuff I didn't even know about. open communication could bridge the gap... shakespeare even noted how "all the world's a stage," where we're all just playing our parts. perhaps a calm and honest convo could help everyone understand each other better?
hey!
i totally get that you're having a tough time juggling everything 🤯, but maybe there's another way to look at it. parents can be like project managers in the "family dynamics" department, trying to keep everything running smoothly even if it doesn't look like that from your perspective. a friend once told me, "communication is the key to understanding," and honestly, it kind of makes sense when you break it down. sure, they can seem overbearing when they ask a million questions, but maybe they're just trying to connect in their own way...❤️
i've had moments where my parents seemed clueless about what was going on with me, but when we finally talked, it turned out they were stressed themselves; maybe they're thinking about your future and wanting to know more about your life so they can help. it's like the famous saying, "walk a mile in someone else's shoes," you know?? communication breakdowns can happen in any relationship, and sometimes, all it takes is a step back to reset the dialogue. 😊 so maybe try talking to them when things are calm and see where it leads...
hey, it sounds like you're really stressed out with everything going on. honestly, i totally get it. i remember when i was in a similar situation, juggling school and family stuff felt so overwhelming. but maybe your dad's way of asking questions is his way of caring? sometimes parents don't really get the teenage world; who does, really? 😅
maybe cutting him some slack could be beneficial. he might not realize how it's coming off. one time, i sat my parents down and just laid it all out, no drama, just real talk, you know? it surprisingly helped a lot; communication’s a two-way street. hang in there, and don't let it get you down. things can only get better from here!