Undiagnosed Neurodivergent Dealing with Emotional Abuse

For about a year or two I have suspected that I am undiagnosed neurodivergent, specifically ADHD and autism. I have always had major trust issues and that causes making and maintaining relationships to be a struggle. I am an only child, but my parents are.... something else. They consistantly make me feel down about myself, and often will tell me to "grow up" when I have a meltdown, as well as many other things that can be considered emotional abuse and trauma, especially from a neurospicy pov. i cannot tell them my suspicions, or how they were formed, as they will just dismiss them and/or get mad and me, tell me to stop looking for attention, and stop making stuff up. they also do not understand any of my personal life, as i have to mask and shield to keep them away from it, because i do not feel comfortable sharing anything with them. like my situationship, for example. there's this person who i have liked for months now. and there are many, many signs that they like me as well. unfortunately, the school year just ended without either of us doing anything about it, and now i have to wait three months to see them again, with only a very slight chance at seeing them in the next week or two.

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