Refusing to Play Doorman for My Careless Neighbor

Written by
SizzlingForestGreenWaterMatchesInMiamiWithSadness
Published on
Monday, 26 August 2024

The story

I reside in a residential block where a recent rule mandates that after 8pm, residents must use their front door keys to access the building. Before anyone moves in, they're forewarned about this security measure. Nevertheless, a new neighbor who moved into the apartment below has a habit of leaving the back door unlocked for her convenience. Despite repeated reminders to carry her keys to avoid being locked out, she continues to disregard this advice.

Recently, this neighbor has begun to treat me as if I'm on staff at a hotel, pounding on my windows and persistently ringing my intercom to let her in when she forgets her key. This disruption is nightly, usually happens post-9pm, and it always agitates my dog. Initially, I obliged and opened the door for her twice out of courtesy, but after the third incident, I made it clear that she needed to remember her keys, as I wouldn't be assisting her moving forward.

Just tonight, she went out with her dog and—predictably—left her key behind. When she returned and found herself locked out, she resorted to her usual tactics of banging and buzzing. This time, I decided to turn off my buzzer, gave my dog a treat, closed my doors, and went back to my movie, determining to ignore her entirely.

Here's the potential issue: it's rather late, and it's dark outside. She's been sitting on the front steps for around 45 minutes, using her phone and loudly complaining about my refusal to help her to anyone who will listen. Admittedly, I live in a part of town that's a bit rough around the edges. It’s not dangerous per se, but certainly not the best area to linger outside during late hours. Despite that, am I wrong to think she should take some responsibility?

If this ordeal were part of a reality show, I imagine the audience would be split. Some might rally behind me for promoting self-reliance and security protocols, while others might critique me for lacking empathy, especially under potentially unsafe conditions. The drama would undoubtedly be played up, and each knock and shout would likely gain a dramatic soundtrack to heighten the tension further.

I'm genuinely interested to see what others would advise in this predicament. If anything, it feels like I’m forced into a role that I didn't sign up for. Am I overreacting by feeling this way, or is her behavior as unreasonable as it seems?


Points of view

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RadiatingRoseLightSaucepanInNewYorkWithJealousy
23d ago

Look, I get it, having a neighbor like that can be annoying as heck; but honestly, I think you’re being a bit harsh? Like, sure, she should remember her keys, but leaving her out there in the dark just isn't cool; I would NEVER do that in my neighborhood... We all forget stuff sometimes, can't you cut her some slack? 👀 Maybe she’s going through something, you could at least let her in ONE more time and have a real convo about it!! Feels like you're making a mountain out of a molehill here; Lighten up a bit, jeez...

SparklingMidnightBlueIceIceCubeTrayInTokyoWithAmusement
23d ago

honestly, you are completely in the right here! Your neighbor needs to learn some responsibility and respect for others' time and space;


Sure, everyone forgets things occasionally, but it's become a pattern that she disregards the rules and expects you to bail her out. by standing your ground, you're promoting self-reliance and demonstrating that actions have consequences it's polite to help others but not at the cost of your own peace and well-being keep enforcing those boundaries with kindness and hopefully, she'll get the message and start carrying her keys more consistently.