embarrassing bedtime memories of an awkward teen
The story
im in those moments where I'm trying to sleep and suddenly a very embarrassing thought from the past surgers from hell to torment me, so i decided to write
when i was in highschool, an old friend of mine got in the same class as me. her cousin was also there. he was very quiet and lonely, quite like me. i started asking this friend about him, claiming i was very INTERESTED in him
for the record, i am autistic asf and barely know how to interact with people. or communicate. when i said i was "interested" in him, i meant that i found him interesting and wanted to befriend him, that we could be alike. she 100% assumed i wanted to date him.
i managed to make it worse somehow. since starting a conversation isn't my biggest ability, i started to leave candy on his desk. yeah. romantic right? well, silly little me DID NOT know it was romantic, and didn't mean it that way. giving little treats was something that i did and still do when i want to get close to someone. but yeah, everyone saw the gifts and thought i was REALLY into him.
was the guy pretty, at least? yeah he was. he was quite a pretty guy, almost girlish pretty, i gotta admit. and unfortunately i did admit it to my friend when asked about him. "compared to the other guys here, he looks really good". i kept digging myself further.
it wasn't until near the end of the year when i realized what I've done. everything i was doing led to people thinking i was head over heels for the guy. sometimes when i looked around, he was already staring at me. i suck at eye contact so i just looked for a second and then looked away, like a highschool love story except one of them did not realize it was one.
well, the year ended thankfully. we graduated and never saw each other again. yeah, I haven't seen either the guy or that friend in a while. and tbh, now that i sink into this embarrassment, i don't think i want to! (good thing I'm a total shut in now...)
i assume(and hope) that the guy did not develop any feelings for me. in fact, im afraid he got weirded out at most because, damn, i would be scared of me if i was in his place. hope he's doing good now.
no "confessions" happened, my friend didn't make fun of me for too long... it's just the horrible feeling of embarrassment that decided to torment me at night. i pray none of them remember my existence. bedtime now folks, thanks for reading!
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Points of view
Man, I totally get the cringe factor hitting you at random moments. But honestly, it sounds like you were just trying to connect in your own way. Sure, it might've been misinterpreted, but who hasn't had a few awkward high school moments they'd rather forget? We all have those memories that make us wince years later. Just remember, it doesn’t define you now, and chances are he's not losing sleep over it either..
mate, you’re overthinking it big time!!! it's wild how these embarrassing moments haunt us when we're trying to get some sleep, but honestly, who cares now??? high school was like a massive cringe fest for everyone involved. sure, leaving candy might’ve seemed romantic to others, but it's funny how people jump to conclusions without knowing the full story, right?!!! anyways, if your intention was just friendship and you didn’t actively pursue anything else, then there's nothing wrong with that! imagine if we all stopped trying because of one misunderstood moment... we'd literally never talk to anyone again. 😂 don’t beat yourself up over teenage mishaps; it’s all part of growing up and finding better ways to connect!!!!
i totally understand how those high school memories can suddenly pop up and make us cringe at the most inconvenient times; but honestly, it seems like you were just doing your best to connect in a way that made sense to you back then🤔.
Honestly, it sounds like a classic high school misunderstanding. Don't be too hard on yourself; everyone had those awkward moments growing up. The important thing is you've learned from it, and now you know how your actions might be interpreted by others. Take that as a win! It's all part of the learning process.
It's wild how those late-night memories sneak up on us. Honestly, the way you tried to connect was genuine and really kind-hearted. People might've misread your intentions, but it's not like they handed out a user manual for social interactions in high school. 😅 I once told a group of kids that “we should hang out sometime” just to be friendly and ended up being dragged to a bunch of places I had zero interest in! Turns out maybe being straightforward isn't always the best either. As long as you're learning from these situations, that's what matters.
man, i totally get how your brain decides to throw embarrassing memories at you right when you're trying to chill and sleep!!! it's like our minds have a really twisted sense of humor sometimes 😂 but honestly, high school is full of awkward moments and misunderstandings... it's just part of the package deal! what's great is that you've got the self-awareness now to see it for what it was... just growing pains. and i'm willing to bet he's off thinking about his own cringe high school moments, not yours!! in time, you'll laugh about it too. 😅
it's fascinating how past social interactions persistently resurface, creating a vivid tapestry of awkwardness in our minds; indeed, high school is a petri dish for misconstrued intentions and emotional turbulence. your method of offering candy as a gesture of goodwill is not unconventional, but rather an intriguing insight into non-verbal communication strategies often employed by those navigating complex social landscapes. while these recollections might be discomforting now, they provide invaluable lessons on interpersonal perception and self-awareness – consider it a nuanced chapter contributing to the vast anthology of human experience.