I just want to hide
The story
It's currently 4.30 am. And i can't sleep because of guilt. Because i haven't done any of the things I was supposed to and i feel like i dissapointed myself and i'm afraid i'm dissapointing others too. I wanted this year to be different, to not get myself in the same mess, but i made and even worse mess in the end. I've been feeling so tired and burnt out for almost two years now and i've trying to get out of It since, i've tried routines, habits, apps, everything to be more productive and actually get back on track but It Just keeps failing. I feel tired, and end up procrastinating and then i get anxious, start pacing around or scrolling and hiding in bed, and then i can't sleep at night knowing i'm ruining everything. My grades are only getting worse and i feel like i'm failing. And i feel so stupid. Because It should be easy. It was easy before. But then i messed everything up. And now i can't fix. Now more and more things are coming up. People expect things from me, and i don't even know where to start. My Mom expects me to at least be decent in school but i can't even do that. There are lot of tests right now and their all going worse than the other. I was forced to make the PowerPoints in out study group even though i said no. Multiple times. And i got set up to do even heavier lifting in the journaling club of school, and now i'm supposed to set up whole thing. When my 'mentor', the one who's supposed to teach me, ghosted me and hasn't done anything to start or help at all. I know It's my fault but i Just feel so tired. It's all too much and i'm too stupid to handle It. I can't do this. I Just want to hide.
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Points of view
hey there, reading through your post really touched me because I totally understand where you're coming from and it's a very relatable struggle; we all go through those times when everything seems to be falling apart and it feels overwhelming. don't beat yourself up too much about it, sometimes life just throws more at us than we can handle and it's important to be gentle with yourself during these moments. it's absolutely okay to feel exhausted and burnt out, especially when you've been trying so hard to make a change. I think it might help to break down tasks into smaller steps, which can make things seem less daunting and more manageable. everyone makes mistakes, and it doesn't make you any less capable or smart. just know that it's never too late to start fresh and small victories are still victories. take care, and I really hope things start looking up for you soon.
hey, I get what you're saying and it's a tough spot to be in; who hasn't been there??? it can truly feel like everything's spiraling out of control, especially when burnout starts creeping in!!! i’ve been in a similar situation where the workload just doesn't seem to end and the expectations pile up - it really takes a toll. but, why did your mentor ghost you?? that sounds frustrating and you shouldn't be dealing with all of that alone; it's somewhat unreasonable to expect someone to handle everything without proper support. i’ve always found it hard to pick up the pieces when things go off track, especially when juggling multiple responsibilities. anyway, try to hang in there and take it one step at a time; it's not easy, but eventually, you'll find a way through!!!
I think you're being a bit too hard on yourself; everyone messes up sometimes, and that's just life! 😅 "it was easy before" isn't always the best way to look at things because life changes, and what was easy once might be tougher now for loads of reasons. i've found myself in similar situations where it felt like nailing down a simple routine was suddenly impossible, like trying to catch smoke. 🤦♂️ it's honestly not stupid to struggle, and burning out is more common than you might think! in my experience, pushing too hard without giving yourself a break can make things feel way heavier. maybe cutting back on commitments, like saying no to those PowerPoints next time, could help lighten the load a bit. what’s the point of being hard on yourself when life is already doing that? just my two cents! hang in there, you got this! 💪