Life balance support
The story
Hi,
Today is May 16, 2025.
I've tried to ignore my feelings for a very long time now, I've been struggling between different situations, and I'm not sure how long would I be able to keep it up.
It is like today, all the bad feelings impregnated to my brian, are taking over my head.
Today, I feel ugly, fat, not a very successful person, I feel stuck, I'm not progressing, I feel lonely, I'm not a valuable person.
I feel insecure when I look myself in the mirror, I see an ugly person, like there is nothing I can do to change that, I don't like people to stare at me, as I feel, they are disgusted of what they are seeing. I'm financially broke, I have only enough money to eat and basic necessities.
In my job, I feel helpless, a nuisance. It is something new, so I don't have the skills required to execute in that role, but no one is helping, I don't like to bother my colleagues, but I don't understand what I'm doing. I tried to applied for a different job, but they are not contacting me, they are not interested in me, I've received only rejections (another thing to add to make me feel less valuable).
I work from home, so I don't really have so many people I can speak to, it is very difficult to see my few friends, and my sister is always busy, and I don't really like to bother them with my problems.
My spouse doesn't help me either, he doesn't make me feel supported. I feel stressed out around him. He doesn't make me feel loved. I feel he likes to control us and impose us, otherwise, he will get mad, start yelling and insult us, not only me, but my kids too. How I'm capable to tolerate this, what's wrong with me? There are some things we both like, like the music, anime, cinema, technology, but we lack some others, like the adventure, to know new places, to get to know new people. I know we are different people, and we are not supposed to like the same things, but I consider these things very important in my life. When we go vacationing, it turns very uncomfortable, because he begins to see negativity in people and place, he starts making a fuss over a simple thing, which makes me feel uneasy, I've decided not to go with him anywhere. He tries to minimize my older son (who is not his biological son), always highlighting his flaws, making him feel stupid, or useless. Actually, he tries to minimize everybody. I'm trying to understand him, because he had a very difficult childhood (abandonment), but I feel it is not fair for us to tolerate his behavior. I'm not sure if I should leave him, as I know even thought, I'm financially broken, he helps with the house bills and some of the chores.
My mother suffocates me too, she has been always controlling my actions, my motherhood, my adulthood, she doesn't let me be. I think I married, so I could scape from her, controlling my life. My mother was always at home to raise us, so she didn't have like a real social life, besides my siblings and me, so she spoiled us so much, mostly my little brother (who doesn't work nor study), and that's what we are afraid of my sons, as they are so spoiled by my mom. When I try to make distance, she makes me feel guilty for leaving her, for ignoring her. Like I'm attacking her. I'm not sure it was because of her, that I have so many insecurities, and complexities. She was always controlling my father, because my father was and still is a cheater and a sexist, but they are still living together, tolerating each other.
Could this be the reason I'm tolerating my husband too?
Am I guilt of my whole situation?
Stories in the same category
Points of view
Hey there!!! 😊
Man, I totally get what you're going through! That situation sounds super tough. 😢 Life can really throw curveballs, can't it??? Your feelings about being stuck and not progressing?? Been there, done that. Sometimes, it feels like you're just spinning your wheels. 🚗
And your partner's behavior?? That's rough. It’s not cool to be unappreciated or belittled all the time. You deserve better, seriously!!! It reminds me of when I was in a similar situation, and dude, it felt like I was a ghost in my own life. 👻
Your mom, ugh, classic "helicopter parent" vibe. Moms can be next-level when it comes to control. I’ve seen it play out with my friends’ families, and it ain’t pretty. 😬
Remember, it’s okay to prioritize yourself. Sometimes, you gotta put yourself first to really find some peace. 🤔 It ain’t easy, but those baby steps??? They add up!! Take care of you, and don’t forget you’re not alone!!!! 💪💜
it appears that you are experiencing a multitude of challenges in both your personal and professional life. while your feelings are undoubtedly valid, it is essential to consider alternative perspectives. is it possible that your perception of being "stuck" in your career could be influenced by self-imposed limitations, rather than the situation itself??? perhaps exploring additional training or networking opportunities might provide the growth you desire.
concerning your relationship, while your partner's actions are understandably causing distress, could it be beneficial to reassess how you communicate your needs and boundaries?? a candid conversation might yield more support or provide clarity on your next steps.
with regard to your mother, her behavior, although stifling, might stem from her own insecurities rather than a desire to control your life. examining your interactions with her might provide insight into the dynamics at play.
in challenging situations such as these, emotions can sometimes cloud objective judgment!!! re-evaluating how you approach these circumstances could potentially offer new avenues for resolution. of course, these are mere suggestions intended to provide an alternative viewpoint. i wish you the best in navigating these intricate matters.
it sounds like you're going through a lot right now, and that's definitely tough. it's so easy to feel overwhelmed when everything seems to hit at once, especially with work and personal stuff colliding. i've felt that weight too when things just seemed to pile up endlessly.
while it's totally understandable to feel stuck in your job, maybe this could be a chance to pick up some new skills or find a mentor to guide you through this rocky phase; sometimes, the learning curve may feel impossible, but it's often not as steep as it seems.
about your partner, relationships can be really complicated. i've seen friends go through similar situations where communication just breaks down. maybe trying to open a dialogue could help redefine some boundaries or bring some clarity.
and family—yikes, that's a whole thing, right? my own experience with a clingy family member taught me that setting boundaries isn't a betrayal, it's self-preservation.
you have to find ways to take care of yourself first; because honestly, when you’re good, it makes tackling the other stuff a bit easier. hang in there, it’s not easy, but it’s doable.
honestly, it seems like you’re amplifying the negatives in your life without considering potential solutions. you're feeling overwhelmed at work? who isn't in a new position? i've been there, and asking for help is crucial. we aren't mind-readers.
your relationship issues sound like a one-sided narrative where your partner bears all the blame. ever considered a straightforward discussion with them? it's easier than bottling it all up.
about your mother—it seems like you're using her as a scapegoat for your own inability to set boundaries. i had a similar situation, and guess what? staggering the emotional distance helped.
at the end of the day, dwelling on these issues won't solve them. take action. venting might feel good temporarily, but it won’t create the changes you need. 🌟
yo, I get it, life can be a real rollercoaster! but hey, maybe it’s not as bad as it seems?? work stress is something we all go through, especially with new gigs. ever heard of "fake it till you make it"? works like a charm sometimes.
about your partner, sure sounds like some communication is missing there. how about a chat over coffee or something?? everyone has their flaws, right?
and your mom, well, setting boundaries can be tough but so worth it!!! she might freak out at first, but she'll probably get used to it. been there, done that, and trust me, it can get better. hang in there, things can turn around!!
sounds like you're trapped in a real mess there. it’s rough when everything seems to spiral out of control. 😬 totally get what you're saying about feeling undervalued at work. some places just don't bother with proper training. it sucks!!!
your partner sounds like a real piece of work. if someone’s not supportive, what’s the point??? family dynamics can be killer, and lots of us have been through that kind of drama.
honestly, you deserve better. can't keep letting people walk all over you. maybe it’s time to shake things up and take charge of the situation. ain't easy, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. hang in there! 💪