i don't know man, it's like ever since i transferred to this new school with a killer curriculum, i'm just feeling way more pressure to perform. it's like everyone expects me to smash it out of the park or something. especially my parents... god love 'em, they're rooting for me real hard but it's starting to feel kinda overwhelming, you know? and then there's all these expectations floating around: gotta balance my studies with the stuff i'm actually interested in and passionate about but how do i even do that? sometimes i think maybe it's just too much?

so there i am comparing myself to others in class. they're super focused, seem so at ease with these tough topics and here i am trying my best but always feeling a step behind. yeah i've got ambition and want those good grades too and make no mistake, it's not like i don't try but where's the drive when you keep asking 'why bother'? should have been less lazy when i had the chance instead of binge-watching some series or scrolling through socials all day long.

the whole point of this vent is not to whine really (ok maybe a lil) but mainly because i'm stuck right now wondering how on earth to get motivated again without losing sight of who i am. into sports arts music whatever... can anyone relate? juggling what feels important academically with real life interests is just making my head spin perhaps it'll pass? or maybe someone out there has tips that have worked what did ya do?

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