Starting School at 16
The story
Hello. My english isn't that good and I don't know where to start so I'm sorry if this sounds confusing but I just really need to let it out my heart
My dad told me that school will be starting in 6 days. I'm nervous?
In my whole years of living, Ive only went to school for 2 years but that stopped when I was 12. Ever since then I haven't went due to stupid idiotic reasons. Reason number one being I was too anxious because the whole thing was new to me. I wasn't used to people I was only used to my family. Reason number 2 was because I didn't want to waste money
When I go, it'll be my first time actually meeting people my age. Or actually meeting anyone other than my family in years. Yeah I go out but I'm not allowed to go out alone so I rarely ever speak to anyone other than my family and it's always going out to the same places constantly, I'm grateful but you can imagine the boredom.
I just look really bad right now. In 2024 I was really miserable so I kept eating so much and now I gained so much weight. I planned to lose it and prepare myself for school with studying at home but I was too busying being an idiot, too busy being miserable. I told myself so many times "Ill start tomorrow" without realizing the day is so close
I know looks don't matter, I'm just really insecure because of the way people have treated me my whole life just based on my weight.
I can read pretty well but I'm so slow at it so I'm nervous at starting school
I'm not blaming my dad but sometimes.. I wish he actually warned. Actually taught me, instead of just throwing the decision to go to school on a 12 year old who doesn't know anything but "I feel anxious" again I'm not blaming my dad. This is my fault
I can't help but wonder what's the point of going? I'm 16. I don't really see the point in me going to school now to study a grade that isn't even for my age. And I never will get to the grade my age should be in and it breaks my heart, never having any normal school experiences, or any nice experience. Other than reading my favorite webcomics and watching cartoons. I keep seeing such cool and awesome teenagers having fun together and I can't get that. The only thing I get is my father telling me "too late to be like the girls your age now". The only thing I find comfort in is pathetic which is the character " Steven universe" because I feel like me and him are alike in many things. Like when someone asked him what grade he was in and he said "16th...?" Because he didn't know what to say other than his age. But he's just a character. I'm stuck in my own fantasy world to escape the truth about reality and I'm stuck in it everyday imagining mage stories and that's really the only thing keeping me happy but the happiness feels off. I know I can just "get up" and get my life in order. I'm aware that time doesn't stop for anyone and I'm aware that me just pacing around my room for hours everyday being upset won't do me any good but I just can't help it. I really can't help it
Anyway, just because I don't see the point in me going to school doesn't mean I won't go. I'm still gonna go because what else can I do? I'm just going to study, go to school, do what is needed to do and that's all.
I'll still feel my heart break whenever I remember the days when I would stay at home changing diapers and cleaning while my siblings came back from school talking about their friends. I'll still feel resentment about how I'm expected to act like an adult meanwhile my siblings get to have a normal life with no expectations of acting like a mother or a housewife or a aunt or an adult
Theres really nothing remarkable about my life. It's just the same day constantly
But that's just life and there's nothing I can do about it no matter how hard I try to think of a solution I can't
But it's okay. I haven't even lived 2 decades yet there's still time and I'll still keep my head up and study
And yes I know this is all my fault. I'm very very aware, this isn't meant to blame my dad or anyone else. Im just talking about my feelings to let them out

Stories in the same category
Points of view
yo, i get where you're coming from, like all those emotions and doubts swirling around, it's heavy 😅. can't say i know exactly how you feel, but being thrust into schooling after years of being out of it and not having that usual teenage experience does sound tough. school and meeting new folks might seem daunting, especially when you've been out of the loop, but it's not entirely pointless. it's okay to feel insecure about your looks, but you'll probably find you're not alone in those feelings. sure, it's easy to say "get up and change," but that’s a mammoth task. life's routines can feel like a drag, i guess. maybe just take it one step at a time. sounds cliche, but every little move forward counts, y'know? and don't be too hard on yourself. your feelings are valid❤️
Thank you so much for this lovely message 💕 I really appreciate your words.
this is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Coming from a genuinely awkward person i get you! I started secondary school last year and it was scary. but i did get used to it in about a week. i thought i'd just stick with my 2 friends but you have no idea how many people you'll meet, how many people can help. it's a very scary concept, but it's not nearly as bad as you think. take it from me. i was in none of the same classes as my friends and most classes you have to partner up. trust me, it will get better. people will like you for you, however sappy that may sound
thank you soo much for your kind words 🤍🤍 it really made me feel better
man, i totally get it; going back to school after such a long break sounds overwhelming and the weight stuff, that's rough. been there myself, when you're in a funk and just keep putting things off till tomorrow, just try to remember it's never too late to turn things around 🤔. i remember when i had to get back into school after a break, it was nerve-wracking, but it turned out better than expected. meeting new people might actually surprise you; who knows, you could make some really good friends. and hey, comparing yourself to others is a losing game—you do you and let things unravel; everyone's got their own timeline. keep pushing forward, even when it seems pointless, coz you never know where it might lead! ;-)
Thank you so much !!
hey, i hear you, it's tough feeling like you're starting from behind, especially at 16. school can seem pointless when you're not in the same grade as others your age, but it's cool to focus on what you can gain from it! remember, everyone has their own path, and yours is just a bit different; that's okay. it’s like when someone says, "better late than never," right? you've got time to figure things out and make the most of it. who knows, you might actually enjoy it??? stay hopeful, you got this 💪
Thank you for your kind words!!
sure, going to school might feel embarrassing at your age, but complaining about the past isn’t gonna change anything. it's like when people say, "you made your bed, now lie in it,” yeah, it's not ideal, but isn't it a tad late to be blaming your dad or whatever? maybe school can be a new start if you let it. i used to feel like it was useless too, but without trying, you're never gonna know. it's your life, and you gotta steer it. stop focusing so much on what you've missed and think about what you can still do.
Thank you for your kind message but I literally said it myself that I'm not blaming my dad. But thank you
I get how overwhelming it can be to getting back into school after a long break and to deal with all those thoughts and emotions swirling around in your head. But hey, you know what? You’re showing strength by deciding to go back to school despite all the doubts and fears! That takes guts!
Thank you!!!
honestly, it seems like you're being a bit harsh on yourself. the whole 'what's the point?' vibe feels a bit off. school isn't just about getting into the right grade; it's about the journey of learning and growing. it's not unusual to feel anxious when re-entering education after a long break; I went through it myself. but trust me, it's a chance to gain new experiences and discover something about yourself. expressing your feelings is a step forward, and it's good to recognize time is still on your side 😊. try focusing on small wins each day, and gradually you'll find purpose and motivation in the process. life is unpredictable, and sometimes those unexpected moments lead to the most growth. keep pushing through; you've got this.
Thank you. Focusing on small wins each day sounds like a great idea ❤️ I appreciate your message