Vent, am I a failure?
The story
Long vent.
I feel like a failure. I keep messing up on stuff other don't have any problems with. I want to do things but i can never meet my goals or reach what i want because i'm just so stupid and irresponsible. I keep procrastinating because I always feel so tired and in the end I can't do the things I have to nor the things I want to, because half the time i'm either hooked on my phone just scrolling and not really seeing things, bedrotting and hiding in my bed struggling to get up, or pacing around my house because I know I messed up, i don't know what to do first or how to do it and I just want to hide and start crying. I tried to set up routines or habits and then something happens and i mess It up and can't fix It anymore. And i hate when people go "OMG NO BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD. YOU DID REALLY GREAT." Because no? No i did not. I don't deserve that. I did that completly last minute because i'm an irresponsible child that says yes to everything automatically but can't be trusted anything and the only thing i want right now Is to hide under the covers for so long that people forget i I exist so i don't have to be ashamed anymore. "IT'S NOT THAT DEEP I'M SURE YOU'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME" ok? Well i'm not. Because this Is Just the comfermation that i messed up again and all the work i put in to try to fix myself was for nothing and i can never do better because i'll always be stuck in the same circle for every single thing i do. And It's only a matter of time before you're just as dissapointed in me as i am. And yeah, maybe It's not that deep, but It's deep enough to make me realize i can never be better no matter how much i try.
Anywayyy that was too long, thanks for coming to my pep talk, (always wanted to say that), have a great day stranger ❤️
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wow, sounds like you're really in a loop of cognitive dissonance or something; it's like you keep getting hit by the same feedback loop of feeling like a failure!!! honestly, procrastination and that constant tiredness are classic symptoms of burnout, it's almost like a vicious circle, isn't it?!?! you're totally not alone in feeling like everything is crumbling, but calling yourself stupid? come on, that's an example of self-deprecating internal dialogue that ain't helping nobody 🤷♂️ yes, routines can get messed up, but it ain't all on you, sometimes environmental factors play a big role too, right?!! sure, it feels deep, but don't let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy, alright??? keep your chin up, you've got this, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes; you might be surprised at the resilience you've got hidden away!!! 🌈
totally get where you're coming from... it feels like you're caught in a tough loop 😓 when you say you're always tired, that really strikes a chord: sometimes it's hard not to beat ourselves up for not meeting our goals! but spiraling won't help... 😅 maybe there's a way to break free from this cycle?! establishing small achievable goals might be a start!! it's important to be kind to yourself throughout this journey.. everyone stumbles at times, you're not alone and it's okay to take one step at a time!
hey there,
I feel you on this, totally sounds just like my constant struggle... it's frustrating right?! feels like no matter what you try, you just can't break that cycle!!! gotta admit i also feel like a failure sometimes, you know like all the routines and self-improvement plans come crashing down 😕 it's like you're stuck in a never-ending loop of disappointment and procrastination trust me it's not just you, i get tired of people saying those empty encouragements too!!! they just don't get that sometimes, it feels so deep and hard to see any way out... keep pushing though!!!
Indeed, I've upcoming national exams but I'm just fooling around with my phone. Everyone's studying hard and here I'm stressed but can't even study. I'm really tired of all of this, I just keep wasting my time and I'm so stupid. I really hate myself. I don't know what to do and it's killing me.