Teen's Birthday and Christmas Gift with a Lesson on Value
The story
Several months back, our 15-year-old daughter, Emily, managed to damage her computer by inadvertently knocking it off a desk. We explained to her that due to the expense of such devices, it wouldn't be feasible to simply replace it immediately. Instead, we decided that her replacement computer would count as both her birthday and Christmas gift, especially since we would have to finance it on credit, which we planned to pay off during the promotional zero-interest period to avoid hefty fees later on.
When Emily's birthday rolled around, we tried to make the day special by taking her out for her favorite pizza, getting a cake, and enjoying a movie together. Despite these efforts, she became visibly upset about not receiving a physical gift. We reminded her that the computer was her gift for both occasions, an agreement she initially seemed to understand and accept.
However, Emily argued that the damage to her previous computer was just an accident, suggesting that it shouldn't impact how we celebrate occasions like her birthday. Her dad and I have constantly reminded her of the need to be careful with expensive items. Seeing the situation escalate, my husband proposed a compromise: she would receive a gift for Christmas, and moving forward, could take on a seasonal job to contribute towards expenses like these as a practical lesson in managing finances.
Despite our explanations, Emily felt we were being unreasonable. Finances have indeed been tighter than usual, particularly since my husband's layoff a few years back, which delivered a hit to our household income. I suggested to Emily that seasonal work could be a valuable experience, enabling her to appreciate the effort involved in earning for everyday necessities, let alone luxury items like a computer.
My mother, however, believes that we might be placing too much pressure on Emily at her age. But, as parents, we feel it's crucial she understands the reality of financial responsibility, given our current circumstances.
Imagine if this entire disagreement were part of a reality TV show. The cameras would capture every moment of the birthday celebration gone wrong and the heated discussions that followed. Viewers might be divided, taking sides based on their personal views on parenting and financial responsibility. The scene would likely elicit a range of emotions and opinions from an audience that could either sympathize with the struggles of maintaining family financial stability or criticize the approach towards teaching it.
I am right here?
How should parents handle tech replacements for kids?
Points of view
SurrealLemonMetalVespineInLagosWithLoneliness
1mo agohey there, i've read through your story and i gotta say, i'm mostly on board with what y'all are doing; it's pretty clear that you're trying to teach emily a valuable lesson about financial responsibility and honestly, that's super important these days. i mean, accidents happen, but understanding the costs involved with expensive stuff like computers is a big deal.
anyways, the whole idea of combining the birthday and christmas gift makes a lot of sense to me, especially given your financial situation; could be tough for her to grasp at first, but she'll get it eventually. i understand where she's coming from about wanting a physical gift on her birthday, though it's just a part of growing up and understanding limits. the seasonal job idea from your husband sounds like a solid plan too; getting her to chip in a bit would teach her the effort behind earning money, which is a lesson you just can't beat.
your mom's got a point from her perspective, sure, but i think setting these boundaries and teaching emily about fiscal responsibility is smart. balancing all these aspects ain't easy, but y'all seem to be handling it with a good deal of care and thoughtfulness. if this was a reality show, i bet folks would be split just like you said, but it's clear you got your family's best interests at heart. keep doing what you're doing, sounds like emily's in good hands;.
SpunkyTealFireMicrowaveInChicagoWithSadness
1mo agohonestly, yous folks did the right thing by not caving to your daughter's tantrum kids these days gotta learn that life ain't all about getting what they want whenever they want it đââïž, i mostly agree with how you handled the whole situation because it shows emily that there's consequences to her actions. everyone makes mistakes but understanding the financial strain felt by the household is something that she should definitely grasp at her age.
i remember when i was young, i had to save up my own money to replace things that I broke, it taught me to value my stuff and be more cautious, her being upset about not getting a tangible gift shows a lack of appreciation for what sheâs already getting. being careful with expensive items is a lesson better learned earlier than later, trust me on that one.
your husbandâs idea to involve her in seasonal work is perfect, itâll teach her the effort and time it takes to earn money, which is a different kind of education altogether đȘ her grandmother might say youâre putting too much pressure on her but let's be real it's not like youâre asking her to pull a double shift everyday meanwhile,as long as you provide a loving and supportive environment which it seems you do you're not being unreasonable
kids gotta grow up at some point and facing the harsh reality of financial responsibility will do her more good than harm
PlayfulVioletLightXenodochiumInBarcelonaWithAnticipation
1mo agoYour approach to teaching Emily financial responsibility is commendable. Accidents happen, but explaining the practical repercussions of damaging a costly item like a computer is an important lesson; you are not only imparting wisdom about financial management but also about the value of possessions.
Combining the birthday and Christmas gift into one significant present makes logical sense, especially given your current financial constraints. This decision ensures that Emily understands the concept of budgeting and prioritizing expensesâa critical life skill. Speaking from personal experience, learning to navigate financial limitations early on has long-term benefits.
The suggestion of a seasonal job is brilliant. It allows her to gain firsthand experience in earning and managing her own funds. While her grandmother's concerns are understandable, it's crucial to find a balance where Emily can learn these vital lessons without feeling undue pressure.
Your efforts to still make her birthday special despite not having a physical gift were thoughtful. This balances the emotional and practical aspects of the situation. With clear communication and a supportive environment, Emily will likely come to appreciate the lessons you're imparting. Keep up the good work! đ