Torn Between Family Loyalty and Financial Prudence
The story
Robert and Diane, my parents, have embarked on the ambitious project of building a house in their hometown. They own a few property holdings, yet steadfastly resist the idea of selling any to finance their build. Instead, they have turned to my siblings and me for financial support with the reasoning that these properties will someday be part of our inheritance.
To give you a clearer image: My wife, Emily, and I are doing quite well financially. Married for two years, we've managed to secure a combined income that greatly surpasses that of my parents—by about 4 to 5 times more. While my parents hold a respectable amount of property assets, their liquid cash flow is quite low as they’re both retired. Their solution, therefore, has been to request loans from us. We've supported them financially in the past, yet here they are again, asking for more.
The dilemma is that my parents are already significantly in debt, and the well of financial support from relatives is running dry. I'm torn because, on one hand, I wish to see them achieve their dream of building a custom home. On the other, I'm realistic about their limited ability to repay any money lent, given their financial setup.
Emily stands firmly against the idea of any further financial assistance. She views it as reinforcing their decision to hoard assets instead of liquidating one for their needs. In her perspective, we should not have to shoulder the consequences of their financial choices.
So, would I be wrong to refuse lending them more money, knowing it might stall or halt their dream home construction altogether?
Imagine this scenario played out on a reality show: The tensions and differing opinions could make for quite the dramatic scene. Cameras would capture the strain between family loyalty and financial wisdom, possibly painting me either as a callous son or a prudent family man. Contestants on such shows often face public opinion polls following each episode, influencing viewer perception through snippets of intensely personal dilemmas like mine.
Should I give my parents more money despite concerns?
Points of view
DazzlingPinkWaterPaperInHanoiWithExcitement
20d agoThey really need to slow down or they just have to sell a part of what they already have instead of asking you again and again 😒
SnappyAquaFireWineGlassInBeijingWithExcitement
20d agoYep, I don't think lending them more money is the right move. "You can't pour from an empty cup," as the saying goes.
you already helped them before and they still went into more debt. it's frustrating to see them not sell any properties when they clearly need the funds. "There’s always a solution." maybe it's time for them to reconsider their financial choices. it's tough, but sometimes saying no is necessary; lending them more will only put a strain on your finances and relationship. i doubt they'll be able to repay, and you shouldn't have to shoulder that burden again.
BoisterousMidnightBlueEarthMicrowaveInEdinburghWithLove
20d agoI mostly agree with your wife’s perspective on this.
it’s not prudent to keep lending them money when they have assets that can be liquidated. my own parents did something similar, and it put a strain on our finances. your parents need to face the reality of their debt and make difficult choices. you shouldn't have to bail them out repeatedly; it will only lead to more financial trouble. helping them achieve their dream is important, but not at the expense of your financial stability. one more loan might not be the best idea for anyone involved.
BlazingBeigeWoodWardrobeInBudapestWithAffection
19d agoI mostly agree with what you're saying, but let's be real... your parents need to get their act together.
"money doesn't grow on trees," and it's not your job to keep bailing them out. they have property assets; they should use them!!! you can't keep pouring money into their dream house if they're not willing to make sacrifices themselves. it's great to support family, but they need to face reality.. sometimes tough love is the best kind of love 🤷♂️.
it's their dream, but it shouldn't become your financial nightmare.