Why do older men always look at me/go after me?
The story
(I didn’t know what to put for the category sorry)
I’m 14 years old (female). I don’t feel safe in public, and I haven’t since I was 11 because of men. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing or were I am, men just stare. When I was 12, I went to camp with my mom and a man came over and asked how old I was. I told him I was 12 and he just came over to sit at the campfire with me, my mom, and my moms friend who’s camper was right next to ours. He just sat himself down asking where I was from and what I like to do. He then said “Maybe you and me need to hangout alone sometime”. I was incredibly uncomfortable the entire time, after he said that my mom asked me to “go get smth from the camper” as a way to get me away from him.
My moms husband (My step dad, but I don’t like him so I just call him her husband) would always watch me when I was around 8 because I lived with my mom at that time. My moms shower had a clear curtain that was just kinda blurry, I asked her not to let him in because he would come in and stare at my blurred figure through the curtain. She said she would keep him out but he did it again and he wouldn’t leave till I asked him to because I had to get out of the shower but the only reason he left was because my mom needed him. I stopped taking showers after that. One night I woke up and saw him in my room, I didn’t think much of it but the room was dark so I just laid there with my eyes open to see what he was doing. He took a pair of my underwear out of my drawer and just left. I don’t remember what happened, but I was running from him one day and locked myself in my room, but since my door didn’t have a lock I pushed my dresser against the door. I remember I was crying and I didn’t come out till my mom begged me to move the dresser away from the door. I told my dad how creepy he was and we got a restraining order for a year. Thankfully after that he aged me and I hated him so he didn’t talk to me. I haven’t seen him or my mother in a year and I couldn’t be happier.
Just the other day I went to the gas station a few blocks from my house with my dad and my sister. We walked in and I almost bumped into this guy so I said sorry and turned around to go to my dad who was standing at the ATM machine at the isle right next to me. The man followed behind me very quickly and I quickly went to stand next to my dad. The man stood behind my dad and looked at me then looked around before walking away. I wasn’t gonna say anything to my dad about it but my dad saw it and told me to stay close to him because he didn’t like how he followed and how he was looking at me.
Every time I go out now I feel scared, there’s always some man staring at me for way too long. I’m scared to leave my own house and I can’t go to stores alone out of fear that something will happen to me. I don’t want to have to worry about what I’m wearing, that shouldn’t be an issue. I never wear anything that shows a lot of skin. I just want to feel safe
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I'm so sorry to read what you wrote. As the father of a daughter a little younger than you, I'm worried about watching her grow up... I'm so sorry for all those men and their unacceptable behavior.
That really sounds like a tough situation and honestly, it's kinda heartbreaking. I mean, it’s totally unfair that you’ve had to feel this way for so long, especially since you were so young when it all started. It's like, you're just trying to live your life, you know? And then these grown men just make it all so much harder for no good reason. I can totally see why you'd be scared to go outside, and honestly, it sucks that you have to deal with that kind of anxiety.
I remember once, my younger cousin, who’s just a kid, told me about a creepy dude in the park who wouldn’t stop staring at her, and it really got me worried about how messed up things can be out there. It's not cool and something's gotta give, but in the meantime, you just gotta stick close to the people you trust, like your dad, who seems to have your back. It really bugs me that you've gone through all of this, and I hope you find some peace soon. Just hang tight and stay strong. You're not alone in this, honestly.
I can't help but think that maybe there's more to the situation than just what's on the surface. the way you describe every man as staring or being creepy does seem a bit intense. maybe some were just being friendly or curious?? 😅 not saying your feelings aren't valid, but it's worth considering different perspectives. I mean, it’s tough out there, sure, but not everyone has bad intentions.
also, while your stepdad's behavior was obviously inappropriate and invasive, lumping every dude into the same category might be a bit much; things can be nuanced. your dad seems pretty sharp and supportive, though, which is great! even if it feels like it, you're not all on your own out there. just remember there’s always a balance, right??!! keep your guard up, but try not to let fear control every moment.
your experiences sound tough, no doubt, but there's hope for finding better situations. try finding places or groups where you feel more at ease. the world can be scary, but not everyone you meet is the same way, you know? stay cautious, sure, but also give yourself room to see the good in people. 😊
really sorry you're going through this. that sounds super uncomfortable and downright unfair. no one should have to feel that way, especially not at your age. it's so frustrating how some people can't seem to respect boundaries.
i remember when my sister had similar experiences, and it totally messed with her sense of safety. you're not overreacting at all. gotta look out for yourself, but it sucks that you have to deal with this nonsense. just keep trusting your instincts and stay close to the people who support you. can’t blame you for feeling on edge all the time; it’s tough out there. 😞
it's appalling to hear what you've been through; no one should ever have to experience such discomfort and fear in public spaces. you highlighted a significant issue — the unrelenting, inappropriate attention from men. the world should be a place where everyone feels secure, regardless of gender or age. your mom's husband's actions were utterly unacceptable. i don't blame you for keeping your distance.
when your dad noticed that man’s behavior at the gas station, it validated your feelings; trust your instincts, they're often correct. it’s commendable that you're sharing your story, as it sheds light on a pervasive issue many face. stay safe, and keep advocating for your own comfort and well-being. we're all with you in this fight. 💪
that's really rough and incredibly unfair what you've had to endure. one can't help but be incensed at those individuals who lack the basic decency to respect boundaries. it's infuriating that you're compelled to live with such unwarranted anxiety. simply unacceptable, to be honest. yet, it's crucial to remember there’s still hope and goodness out there.
like, don't let these negative experiences define how you see the world entirely. it seems like your dad has your back, and that's a solid support system. focus on the folks who genuinely care about your well-being. the resilience you're demonstrating is commendable, and it's going to serve you well in the long run. keep your chin up, and know that you're stronger than these jerks trying to bring you down. 💪
i totally get why you're feeling uneasy, and it's infuriating to think that people can be so disrespectful!!! the way you've been treated is completely unacceptable, and it’s good that you're aware of what's happening around you. you're right to say, "i don’t want to have to worry about what i'm wearing"—everyone should be able to dress comfortably without fear.
it's awesome that you shared your story, though; that's a big step in dealing with a situation like this. having your dad around sounds like it gives you a bit of a safety net, which is super important right now. don't lose hope, because not everyone out there is a creep, seriously. focus on those who genuinely support you, and remember, you're stronger and smarter than any of these jerks trying to mess with you!!! 💪
I can truly empathize with your predicament, and it’s disheartening to hear what you've experienced!!! You’ve illustrated a situation that undoubtedly reflects a broader societal issue, one that regrettably affects many people. It’s unacceptable for anyone to feel unsafe in public spaces, and your discomfort is entirely valid.
You mentioned, "I just want to feel safe," which is a fundamental right everyone should have!!! It seems like you've faced recurring instances of inappropriate behavior, which is certainly troubling. However, try to focus on those around you who offer genuine support and security, like your dad.
While not everyone you encounter will have ill intentions, your caution is warranted; maintaining awareness of your surroundings is crucial. Continue to trust your instincts and take comfort in the knowledge that your resilience and awareness can help you navigate these challenges.