Unexpected Drama Over a Plus-One at a Small Wedding
The story
Not exactly a bridezilla story, but close :)
Recently, I got invited to a relatively small wedding, about a two-hour drive from where I live, requiring overnight stays which meant booking a hotel room. Considering the size of the wedding, about 60 people including the bridal party, I wasn't provided a plus-one option, which was totally fine by me given the circumstances.
When it came time to book my hotel room, I realized the available rooms were quite large — designed for families or couples with either multiple beds or a king-sized option. Given these circumstances, I thought it would make sense to bring my boyfriend, Tom, along. This way, we could share the driving and the cost of the room. We planned it so we'd arrive the day before the wedding, enjoy a dinner out in a new place, and he would spend the day of the wedding relaxing at the hotel while I attended the ceremony and reception.
The wedding itself was a beautiful event and went off without a hitch. After the festivities, as I was heading back to my hotel room with Sarah, the maid of honor and someone I'm much closer to than the bride, I simply knocked on the door which Tom opened. Sarah greeted him briefly and then continued on her way.
However, a few days after the event, Sarah contacted me expressing how awkward and uncomfortable my decision to bring Tom had made everyone feel. She said that having him there made it seem like he was just waiting around for the wedding to end, which was not the case. We were genuinely surprised by this feedback as it was intended to be a practical arrangement, nothing more.
Furthermore, Tom was never around the wedding venue and only met the bride and groom on a few occasions, so he neither expected nor desired to attend the wedding itself. I hadn't thought to clear bringing him since he wouldn't be participating in or attending any of the wedding events.
Looking back, I wonder how this whole situation would have played out if it were part of a reality show. Would the viewers take my side, seeing the practicality of my decision, or would they sympathize with the bridal party's perspective, viewing my actions as a faux pas? Reality shows thrive on drama, and this misunderstanding could have been blown into a major conflict, potentially putting me in the hot seat with audiences picking sides.
I haven't spoken to the bride about this as she is on her honeymoon and I prefer not to stir any potential drama. Was bringing him along such a big deal?
Should I have checked before bringing my boyfriend to the hotel?
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Points of view
Hey, I get you wanted to share costs and all, but bringing Tom without a heads-up could've been kinda thoughtless; 🤷🏻♂️ It's like inviting a plus-one without asking.
Remember in Jane Austen's novels where manners matter a lot? This kinda feels the same. It’s cool he stayed out of the way, but weddings are sensitive times; so giving a heads-up would’ve been chill. Once, I brought my cousin to a friend’s party without asking and it got all awkward too.
Maybe next time, just get a quick okay from the hosts to avoid any fuss and keep it smooth. No biggie, just a learning curve!
Yo, seriously??? These people are whack!!! 🙄 You just brought your bf to help split costs and whatnot; like, what's the big deal;;; It ain't like he crashed the wedding or somethin'. So they feel “awkward”??? That's their problem. I once brought my buddy to a party, and no one cared...; people need to chill out!!! Your friend Sarah should get a grip. I mean, Tom wasn't even there, lurking around!!! Everyone's too uptight these days. If they didn't want "outsiders," they should've said something specific!! Ridiculous. 🤬