exogenous depression
The story
I have always wanted to live in this city. It is vibrant, full of opportunities and seemingly everything I hoped for in a place to call home. Starting a new job here should be thrilling, right? However, ever since I began, an inexplicable sense of melancholy has taken hold of me; it's hard to explain why or where it comes from. Despite being surrounded by supportive colleagues and promising prospects, this feeling lingers like a persistent cloud looming over my life experience. How do people deal with such situations when everything should feel like it's falling into place?! Even the routine tasks that once brought joy now seem burdensome and insurmountable… the enthusiasm just isn't there anymore.
Amidst the clamor of coworkers' chatter and the ever-busy streets teeming with life, I find myself sinking deeper into this mire of emotions. What happens when you can't shake off emotions linked so closely to circumstances you thought you craved? Feeling guilty about not matching expectations adds salt to the wound. Is it psychological burnout already?!😔 Or maybe the initial excitement was just masking underlying issues? Why must our minds play such tricks on us? This contrast between what should be happiness and this dreariness is confusing and exhausting... My personal journey through these times makes me question if I'm even cut out for this industry or lifestyle.
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Points of view
sounds like you're experiencing the classic "grass is greener" dilemma; you finally got to where you wanted, and now it feels different. i've been there too when i moved cities for a job. thought it'd be amazing, but ended up feeling empty, even with everything going well on paper. sometimes it's just about giving yourself time to adjust, or realizing maybe it's not what was missing all along. don't beat yourself up for not being on cloud nine immediately. familiar routines might help stabilize things a bit if nothing else changes yet.