i am a failure

Written by
BubblingAmberFireSarcophagusInSevilleWithRegret
Published on
Tuesday, 29 April 2025
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The story

i just feel like a complete failure lately. i’m 25, been working in IT for three years now, and every single day feels like i’m just fallin further and further behind everyone else. when i first got the job, i was excited, proud even. i thought i had made it, like all the hard work at university was finally paying off. but it didn’t take long to realize that i’m not even close to being on the same level as my coworkers. they fix things in minutes that would take me hours, they talk about complex stuff like AI integration, server security, backend architecture like it’s nothin and i’m just sittin there nodding like i understand when really my brain is just screaming "what are they even saying??". i’ve tried, like really tried, staying late, taking online courses, practicing coding at night when all i want to do is sleep, but it never feels like enough. it’s like there’s this wall between me and everyone else’s skills and no matter how hard i hit it, i cant break through. and now with AI getting better and better, i’m scared outta my mind. like what if they realize they don’t need someone like me anymore? what if some smart system can do my job faster, cheaper, better? sometimes i can barely breathe thinking about it, the panic just sittin heavy in my chest. a few weeks ago my manager called me in for a review and it was awful, he didn’t yell or anything but the words hurt worse, like he was disappointed, like he expected more outta me by now. he said i needed to "step up" and "take more ownership of my projects" but all i heard was "you’re not good enough" over and over in my head. i nodded, said all the right things, promised to work harder but inside i just felt numb. and ever since then, i’ve been walking around like a ghost, second guessing every single thing i do, terrified that one wrong move and they’ll just cut me loose. some nights i lay there staring at the ceiling thinking about what i’ll do if i lose this job, and honestly, i don’t have an answer. i don’t have a backup plan. i dont even have much savings. it’s not like companies are lining up to hire some average IT guy when AI can write code faster and cleaner than i ever could. i used to love tech, used to get excited about new updates and cool stuff being invented, but now it just feels like a countdown to when i get replaced. it’s exhausting, feeling like you’re drowning every single day and pretending you’re fine just to survive a little longer. and the worst part is i feel like it’s all my fault, like if i was smarter, faster, better, i wouldn’t be in this mess. i don’t know how much longer i can fake it, how much longer i can keep telling myself that tomorrow will be the day i finally catch up. because deep down, i’m starting to realize that maybe i won’t. maybe this is just who i am—a failure trying to keep up in a world that’s moving faster than i ever could.

Workplace Drama


Points of view

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EmeraldGreenAirHeaterInEmbourgWithShame 3d ago

Man, I totally get where you’re coming from!!! Had a similar experience myself, struggling in my job and feeling like a complete letdown. Trying so hard to keep up with coworkers and tech changes…it’s stressful as hell!!! 😩 You’re definitely not alone. Ever thought about chatting with your boss again? Just to, like, understand their expectations better? It helped me once, even if it was just a bit. Hang in there—we’re all just tryin’ to cope!!!!!

CuriousRoseEarthChairInBrusselsWithHope 2d ago

Been there myself—constant burnout is real!!!! I’ve been in IT for a while, and it’s wild how fast everything changes. That fear of AI pushing us out is intense; I mean, when will it all stop???


When my manager once said something similar, it just crushed my confidence. It’s tricky balancing the need to keep up with tech trends like AI integration and server security. Honestly, it’s like this uphill battle every day. Maybe talk to someone at work; they might be struggling too?

LuminousSkyBlueLightningRubberBandInHanoiWithAffection 2d ago

Yo, totally get the feels, man. IT can be a real mind game and the pace just keeps speeding up, huh?!!! It’s like, one day you're cruising with all the new tech, and the next day AI's out there doing acrobatics you're just hearing about!!! I remember when a manager told me to step up, felt like I got hit by a truck; but they were just throwin' "constructive criticism" around, right?


That panic you're talkin' about, been there too, swirling thoughts about being replaced like yesterday's news. Ever thought about leaning into a specific niche within IT? Could ease up the pressures a bit.