i don't think people understand how stressful it is
The story
I'm 32, I'm a man, and I work in IT, and people really dont understand how stressful this shit is unless they're in it. Everybody thinks tech is easy money, comfy chair, dark room, a few emails, then log off. That's the fantasy. The reality is waking up tense because overnight some idiot posted another "AI will replace engineers by next year" take, then opening Slack to three fires, two passive-aggressive messages, and a manager saying we need to "do more with less" like that isn't just corporate code for squeeze us until somebody breaks. Every week there's another layoff headline, and I'm supposed to act grateful I still have a job. Grateful for what? Being tracked, compared, and quietly threatened by automation while executives talk in smug little slogans like "adapt or die" and "AI is just a tool." Easy to say when it's not your neck on the block. I build things, fix things, stop disasters before anybody notices, and the second nothing explodes people assume I did nothing. That's IT. If everything works, nobody sees you. If one thing breaks, suddenly everybody's a pissed off expert asking what you even do all day. You're expected to answer fast, learn new tools faster, sit in pointless meetings, patch ancient junk nobody wants to fund, and then smile when leadership dumps some half-baked AI project on your desk and says "figure it out." Half the people are gone, the rest of us are just pretending the floor isn't cracking under our feet 😑
A few months ago I was at my desk at 11:40 p.m. trying to fix a production issue after a full day of meetings, and my wife walked by and said, dead serious, "must be nice to just sit in front of a screen and wait for the end of the day." That one pissed me off in a way I can't even explain right. I wasn't waiting for shit. I was trying to stop a customer mess from turning into a full outage while replying to my boss, who wanted updates every fifteen minutes like I was some machine. I had cold coffee, a headache drilling behind my eye, and that tight feeling in my chest because all I could think was, if I screw this up, am I next? That's where my brain goes now. Not "how do I solve this nicely," just "if they cut me, how the hell do I pay the mortgage?" Because unlike the idiots on LinkedIn posting fake inspiration about "embracing change," I have an actual life attached to this paycheck. Mortgage. Bills. Groceries. Insurance. Repairs. Normal boring adult stuff that doesn't care about buzzwords. I don't get to romanticize instability. And what's really fun is when people act like working in IT means I should be thankful no matter how bad it gets. "At least you're not doing manual labor." Yeah, cool, thanks, because apparently mental exhaustion doesn't count unless you're bleeding on concrete. Try spending years in a field where the ground keeps moving, expectations keep multiplying, and every smug article hints you're old news by 35. You think hearing "AI can already code" ten thousand times doesn't get in your head? People who never touched a real production system talk like the job is just typing and googling. They have no clue what it's like to carry risk in your head every single day;
And before some smartass says, "well, just switch careers," yeah, sure, because that's easy when you're already exhausted, when the market is flooded, and when every job post wants one person to be developer, architect, support, security, cloud, analyst, and project manager for one mid paycheck. I read those listings and honestly want to laugh, except it's not funny, it's insulting. They want six jobs in one body and still want to lowball you because now there's this threat hanging over the whole field: perform harder, justify your existence every quarter, or get replaced by someone cheaper or some half-working AI stack plus one poor bastard left to babysit it. And people outside it still say dumb crap like, "but you work from home, how stressful can it be?" Are you kidding me? Stress doesn't vanish because the walls are yours. It follows you into the kitchen, into bed, into weekends, into the five minutes you're supposed to be relaxing before another notification hits. I used to actually like solving problems. I used to feel proud when I shipped something good or untangled a nasty issue nobody else could crack. Now it mostly feels like survival. Keep the checks coming, keep your head down, don't piss off the wrong manager, don't fall behind on the newest thing, don't become "redundant." That's the word they love, right? Not scared people with families, just "redundant." So yeah, I get angry when people trivialize this job, especially my own wife, because sitting in front of a screen is not the same as carrying a constant fear that one bad quarter, one reorg, one shiny AI demo, and your whole life gets shoved toward a cliff. Tell me, honestly, would you sleep well with that hanging over you all the time? Because I don't. I sleep like crap, I wake up angry, and I'm real tired of pretending this is normal.