is flirting cheating??
The story
I don’t kno when it started exactly. Maybe it was innocent at first, just little jokes, casual convos, a few laughs here and there. But now, I feel like there’s somthing more, something I don’t really wanna admit to myself. I’m a married man, been with my wife for years, we built a life together, and I still love her—I really do. But lately, there’s this thing with my coworker, and I can’t ignore it. It’s not like I’m doing anything, not really. We just talk a lot, joke around, sometimes she texts me after work about random stuff. And I know it’s harmless—I mean, we don’t touch, we don’t cross any big lines. But if it’s all so harmless, then why do I feel guilty? Why do I delete some of our messages before I get home? Why do I think about her when I’m laying in bed next to my wife?
I keep tellin myself it’s not cheating, because there’s no actual act, no betrayal in the way people usually think about it. But then I wonder… if the roles were reversed, if I saw my wife laughing with some guy at her job the way I do with this coworker, if she was gettin texts late at night, if she was goin out of her way to look just a little bit nicer when she knew she’d see him—would I be okay with that? No. No way. And that’s the part that’s messing with me. I know I’m playing with fire, even if it’s just a tiny spark right now. Maybe nothing will ever happen, maybe it’ll just stay this light, playful thing. But what if it doesn’t? What if one day I cross a line I can’t uncross? What if I already have, and I just don’t wanna admit it?
I tell myself that it’s natural, that everyone flirts a little, that it doesn’t mean anything. I mean, just because I enjoy talking to her, just because I look forward to seeing her, just because my heart beats a little faster when she compliments me—that doesn’t make me a bad guy, right? Maybe I’m just craving attention in a way I didn’t realize before. Marriage is great, but after years together, it’s easy to feel… unnoticed. My wife and I are comfortable, we have our routines, and I know she loves me, but sometimes it doesn’t feel new anymore. But this coworker? She laughs at my jokes like they’re actually funny, she notices little things about me, she makes me feel like I still got that charm. And damn, it feels good to feel wanted.
But then the guilt creeps back in, and I start wonderin—is flirting cheating? I know what the “right” answer is, what people say it is. But in reality? It’s not always so black and white. Because it’s not just about what you do, it’s about what you feel. And if I’m already feeling this guilty, maybe I already have my answer. Maybe I just don’t wanna face it.
Stories in the same category
Points of view
I gotta say, I kind of disagree with your take on this whole situation. to me, it sounds like you're in a bit of denial about where things might be heading. 😬 I get that it's fun to joke around and feel noticed, but you might wanna think about the bigger picture. like, even if it's just harmless chatting now, those feelings you have can grow into something more. I remember when I got too close to a coworker; at first, it seemed innocent enough, but it eventually caused tension in my relationship, and it wasn't worth it.
I think it's really important to be open and honest with your spouse about how you're feeling before things get out of hand. maybe even try to bring back some of that spark you feel is missing at home. your story just makes me think it's easy to lose sight of what's really important, you know? 😊
Hey there, I totally feel you on this one. It’s like you’re walking a tightrope with all these emotions. 🤔
You said it best when you mentioned that feeling unwanted can make things tricky, and I think that’s key. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' definitely applies here—even if it’s just emotional, it can still feel heavy and confusing. I remember a friend going through something similar, and they said the same thing about feeling alive again because someone new was noticing them. 😊
It’s crucial to communicate with your spouse and maybe reignite some of the old spark while keeping things professional at work. Your feelings are valid, and it’s all part of navigating the complexities of long-term relationships.
Stay hopeful, and maybe use this as a chance to learn and grow in your marriage. Hope everything works out for the best.
Hey there! I have to be honest; I don't really see things the same way as you do. It sounds like you're caught up in this emotional whirlwind, but there are clearly some boundaries being blurred here!!! 😬 The way you're describing all these interactions makes it feel like you're playing with fire in terms of emotional fidelity. I mean, I get it, long-term relationships can sometimes lose that spark, and it's easy to look for that excitement elsewhere; but it's super important to think about whether these actions align with the values and commitments you hold in your marriage. I've seen friends go down this path, convincing themselves it's harmless, and it usually doesn't end well. They're often left dealing with a lot of regret and hurt. Personally, I think it's crucial to focus on what's happening in your marriage and address any feelings of being overlooked there. Communication is key, and it might help rekindle that special connection with your spouse. Just my two cents!!!