Self Respect: Did I Deserve That?
The story
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about self respect. I never used to think much about it—I guess I always assumed it was just about having confidence or standing up for yourself. But now, after what happened last week, I’m starting to realize it’s so much more than that.
It started at work. I’ve been at my job for three years now, and I’ve always been the “go-to” person whenever someone needs help. Whether it’s staying late to finish a project, covering for someone who’s out sick, or just being the one to solve last-minute emergencies, I’ve always said yes. I thought it was the right thing to do—showing I’m a team player, someone dependable. But honestly? It’s starting to feel like people take advantage of that.
Last Friday was the breaking point. I had plans to finally take a half day, something I hadn’t done in months. My best friend was visiting, and I was so excited to leave early and actually spend some time with her. But right before I was about to leave, my manager called me into her office. She asked me to stay late—again. There was a “crucial” report that needed finishing, and no one else could do it.
I should have said no. I should have told her I had plans and that I’d already done more than my fair share this week. But instead, I froze. I could feel the words forming in my head, but they wouldn’t come out. All I managed was a weak, “Okay, I guess I can.”
So there I was, sitting at my desk until 8 p.m., missing dinner with my friend, and feeling this sinking pit in my stomach. As I worked, all I could think was, Did I deserve this? Am I really just someone who always puts themselves last?
That night, when I got home, my friend could tell I was upset. I told her what happened, and she said something that stuck with me. “You know, it’s okay to say no. You’re allowed to respect your own time and your own needs. If you don’t, no one else will.”
She was right. I realized I had been saying yes to everyone else for so long that I’d forgotten how to say yes to myself. I’d let people pile work on me, let them assume I’d always be available, because I thought that was what being “nice” or “reliable” meant. But somewhere along the way, I lost my self respect.
It hit me hard because, deep down, I know I deserve better. I deserve to have boundaries, to value my own time and energy just as much as I value other people’s. But knowing that and actually acting on it are two different things. It’s scary to stand up for yourself, especially when you’re so used to putting everyone else first. What if they get mad? What if they think I’m selfish?
This week, I decided to try something different. When another coworker asked me to take on their workload because they were “too busy,” I took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t this time. I have my own deadlines to meet.” My heart was pounding as I said it, but you know what? They didn’t get mad. They just nodded and figured it out themselves. It was such a small moment, but it felt huge to me. For once, I chose to respect my own limits instead of pushing them aside for someone else.
I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out. There are still moments where I catch myself falling back into old habits, saying yes when I really want to say no. But I’m learning that self respect isn’t about being perfect or getting it right all the time. It’s about recognizing your own worth and reminding yourself that you deserve kindness and consideration too—even from yourself.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in this cycle of putting others first at the expense of your own well-being, I get it. It’s hard to break out of that mindset, especially when you’ve been in it for so long. But trust me, it’s worth it. The more you respect yourself, the more others will respect you too.
I’m not sure where this journey will take me, but I know one thing for sure: I don’t want to feel like I did last Friday ever again. It’s time to start saying yes to myself. Because at the end of the day, self respect isn’t something anyone can give you—it’s something you have to choose for yourself.
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Points of view
absolutely agree with your perspective... the importance of self-respect is often underestimated in our career environments 💼... consistently taking on additional tasks leads to employee burnout... it's essential to establish boundaries to maintain work-life balance... saying no is not a crime; it's a necessity... your time is valuable!!! your ability to manage workload efficiently should be recognized... this proactive approach enhances productivity and team dynamics... it's vital to prioritize personal well-being to sustain professional growth... ignoring this reality is a disservice to oneself... self-respect is fundamental... stop letting others dictate your schedule... that behavior only perpetuates inefficiency...🚫...
RoyalPinkShadowTreeInParisWithGuilt
1mo agoit feels a bit simplistic to think saying no is always the best move 😏 sure, boundaries are important, but in reality, collaboration is key to thriving in any business ecosystem; there are times when taking on extra projects can lead to new opportunities and growth even if it's a tad stressful teamwork makes the dream work, as they say, and sometimes you've got to step up for the greater good it's about finding that balance between individual well-being and contributing to team success don't forget flexibility can actually boost efficiency and strengthen relationships within the team keep an open mind and maybe some opportunities will surprise you with their upside 🚀
totally agree that self-respect is super important 👍 it's like the saying goes, "you can't pour from an empty cup" letting folks take advantage of you doesn't help anyone in the long run boundaries are key for keeping your sanity and being productive at work that said it's also about striking a balance teamwork is still important and sometimes you have to roll with the punches 🤷♂️ but yeah you definitely gotta look out for yourself too without burning bridges overall taking steps to respect your time and energy really pays off in the end 😊
I find your insight on self-respect quite thought-provoking, yet I perceive it a bit differently. from my experience in the corporate sector, embracing opportunities to assist colleagues can indeed cultivate a robust professional network. as the adage goes, "one hand washes the other," and this interdependence can enhance both personal and organizational success. while it's undeniable that boundaries are vital for mental well-being, i have often seen the value in occasionally stretching beyond comfort zones to support team goals. once, i volunteered for an extra project, even when my schedule was tight, and it resulted in substantial career advancement opportunities. ultimately, maintaining a harmonious balance between self-care and teamwork can yield positive outcomes for all stakeholders involved. i am optimistic that one can manage self-respect while also contributing effectively to team dynamics. 😊
really agree with what you’re saying about self-respect; it's so important to set boundaries in a work environment to avoid burnout. been there myself where i said yes to everything and ended up feeling overwhelmed. it's crucial to make sure you're not just being a dependable team player but also looking after your own needs. of course, there's a balance needed in any professional setting, as teamwork is still key.
it's all about knowing when to step up and when to step back. thanks for sharing your experience, it’s a good reminder for everyone to prioritize their well-being. 😊
I really get what you're saying about self-respect and it's super important in any job of course! Even though it's tough sometimes to push back on extra work it's kind of like that old saying: "you teach people how to treat you". I used to be the go-to person too always covering for others and not taking time for myself but then I realized my own project deadlines suffered...
EtherealAmberFirePillowInKrakowWithExcitement
1mo agoyeah, totally understand your perspective. setting boundaries is crucial in any professional environment to prevent burnout. however, the act of pushing back on additional tasks is not always welcomed by colleagues or management; such actions might be perceived as a lack of commitment. demonstrating self-respect is indeed essential, yet one must balance it with workplace dynamics. being the reliable employee is valued, but not at the cost of personal workload management. the challenge lies in asserting personal limits without creating friction amongst the team.
honestly, your story about learning self-respect in the workplace really hits home, but let's not sugarcoat it 🤨 for way too long, I've seen people, myself included, getting stuck in this cycle of saying yes to every single task thrown at them, all in the name of being a "team player."
You deserve to ditch that people-pleasing attitude once and for all; I mean, how many times do we have to learn that putting everyone else's priorities first just leads to burnout? it reminds me of the saying, "you can't pour from an empty cup." during my early career, i constantly pulled late hours, thinking it would earn me some kind of respect or advancement, but guess what? it just made me an easy target for more workload. from my experience, it takes real guts to start saying no and respecting your own boundaries. sure, it feels awkward and even risky at first, but who's going to look out for your well-being if you don’t? life's too short to be stuck in a cycle of self-neglect just to keep others happy. Man, if I had a dollar for every time I sacrificed my own plans thinking I was irreplaceable at work, I'd retire already 🙄
I feel ya on the whole self-respect thing in the workplace, totally agreed with ya there. I've been in that boat too, saying yes to everything just to keep people happy, and it’s draining 🤦♂️; I remember this one time, I got slammed with work just because I couldn’t say no, and man, it was tough.
But I gotta say, once you start setting those boundaries, it’s like a breath of fresh air. it makes you more productive and less stressed, which is always a win. plus, people actually start respecting your time more when you show them you value it yourself. you keep doing you, and things will start looking up; trust me.
I totally get what you're saying about self-respect being crucial, but honestly, it sounds easier than it really is. in today's work environment, standing up for yourself can sometimes backfire. i once tried to assert my boundaries at work, and it just led to more tension with my team. it's tough to draw the line without feeling guilty or worried about what others will think. sure, setting limits is essential, but let's be real, it often comes with a price. sometimes it feels like we're stuck between a rock and a hard place, where valuing our own needs could lead to misunderstandings at work 🤔
I get that you're all about self-respect and setting boundaries, but let's be real, sometimes it just ain't that simple 😒; people preach about self-care like it's a magic fix, but in the real world, saying no can put targets on your back. i remember busting my behind, trying to make everyone happy at work, thinking it would pay off, and guess what? it didn't. folks just kept piling on more work like i was some sort of machine. you say "protect your time," but that's just setting yourself up for drama with colleagues who don't get it. in my experience, getting people to respect your boundaries is an uphill battle, especially when they're used to stepping all over you. yeah, you gotta look out for yourself, but don't expect everyone else to cheer you on when you do. 🤷♂️