Work feels crushing, affecting mental health & relationships
The story
I'm typing this while at work. Over the last 2-3 weeks, I have started to despise my job. I've always wanted to work in Marketing, but I'm actually miserable. The boss I once liked is getting more and more overbearing, and she is such a stickler for the rules that it's actually affecting my creativity and how I function at work. (EX: Can't use lowercase letters for a graphic because she doesn't like it OR have to clock in and can't be salaried like everyone else in the building and makes a big deal about making up hours in accordance with "policy" that NONE of the other departments follow). I work in a giant communal office that is dim and only has three small windows. In my last job at the same company, I was allowed to take my laptop and sit outside and work. As long as I got my work done, it didn't matter where I did it from. My current boss won't let me leave the office. Lunch breaks have to be an hour on the dot, and she even gets annoyed if you're in the bathroom too long.
I feel stifled in my creativity, I always feel connected to my job, I hate coming to work to sit in this dim office, I hate that my boss won't give me any kind of freedom when she knows I can do my job and I do it well. To top it all off, my eyes are tired every day from staring at the computer my entire shift. I feel like I don't have any personal time for my husband, I don't have time to work on my hobbies because I'm so annoyed and tired after work, and I'm overall just miserable.
Just quit, then, you may say. Well, I can't. My husband and I were just given the opportunity to rent one of the houses my company owns. It's four bed, two bath, and it includes wifi and rent is only $550 a month. That's amazing. We were paying upwards of $1600 per month including utilities for a one bed, one bath crappy house for the past year, and payments were getting hard. But I have to work at the company in order to rent the new house. So, even though I'm miserable and feel like I'm wasting my life (I'm 24, I shouldn't be feeling this way), I can't leave. We're saving too much money for me to leave. Plus, my husband has to wait a year before we could move anywhere because he has to see if he gets into the grad program he's applying for.
I don't know what to do. I made an appointment to see a counselor, something I never thought I'd do, and I have that this weekend. How am I supposed to do this job for a whole year when I feel like crying every day when I leave? It's affecting my whole life. I am grumpy at everyone, even people I love dearly like my husband and parents. The only time I feel somewhat like myself is the weekend, and even then, I'm so busy doing side jobs to make money, I barely have time to breath. Life is supposed to be about working to live, not living to work. I see marketing girlies sitting by the beach with their laptops, drinking coffee, and making a ton of money, and I know that's extreme, but I want to at least be able to open a freaking window or be able to work from home some days and not feel guilty if I ever have to take a sick day. I feel hopeless at the moment. What can I do?
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Points of view
Hey there, I get where you’re coming from, but honestly, it sounds like you're focusing too much on the negative!! I’ve had tough gigs too, and sometimes it's just about sticking it out for a bit and finding small joys within the chaos; I've been there, stuck in a cubicle with no sunlight, feeling like a hamster on a wheel. But eventually, you learn to adapt and make the best of it. I know it sounds rough now, but maybe try to focus on what you can control or change in the meantime, like organizing your workspace differently or chatting with your boss casually to see if there's any wiggle room. I've found that sometimes just a little perspective shift or reaching out can make a world of difference, even in the most frustrating jobs.
Thanks so much for this comment. I do think I'm focusing on the negative, but right now, it's hard for me to find the positives in the situation. I thought about your comment, and I do think I may try and talk to my boss about seeing if there is any wiggle room. She's one of those people where I have to try and read her mood to see if it's a good time to talk to her, so I'll wait for that window. But I really appreciate your perspective.
Totally understand where you’re coming from. I must admit, your situation seems incredibly challenging. 😕 Juggling everything can be overwhelming, and when your creativity feels stifled, it affects so many aspects of your life.
It's commendable that you’ve taken steps like seeking counseling — taking care of your mental well-being is crucial. 👍
Relocating to such an affordable place is a rare opportunity, though it makes sense why you wouldn’t want to give that up. Maybe exploring some new strategies to manage your stress could be beneficial.
At the same time, try and remember that this is just temporary. Once your husband's situation clears up, hopefully new doors will open.
Hang in there.
Thank you very much for your comment! I appreciate your insight.
Hey there. I 100% understand what you are feeling and what you are going through. The same thing happened to me where I desperately wanted to quit but couldn't. I have found that going to therapy and seeing my psychiatrist help a lot!
I know it's usually something people don't like to consider... even I didn't want to consider it, but it does help! A ton!
It also helps to keep work at work and not bring it home. When you're feeling overwhelmed from the day, take some time when you get home to yourself. I ask my hubby to give me 10 minutes when I get home to decompress and shut my work mind off.
Thank you for the support. I am looking forward to starting counseling - I feel like it will for sure help me process things. It is really hard for me to keep my work at work just because of what I do since I'm a social media manager...I am always getting notifications about something happening. :\
sorry to hear about your situation. if it is just one year before you could do anything try to negotiate with your boss perhaps something can be done even a minor one like bringing a desk lamp so you wont work in the dark or perhaps request a day in the week to work from home (mention that you need this mental break but still be working at home). goodluck!
Thank you so much for this comment. I was actually thinking yesterday that I may ask to work from home and present a bunch of options why that would work. I plan to ask tomorrow when there are fewer people in the office.