feeling alone in a relationship

Written by
MajesticBrownLightSusurrusInJakartaWithHope
Published on
Saturday, 24 May 2025
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The story

I’m just sitting here, scrolling through photos of my husband, and honestly, it can get pretty lonely sometimes. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud of him; he’s out there serving and doing what he loves, but when I think about how my day-to-day looks compared to his, it feels like we’re living in separate worlds. I’m 27, and I just live in this small town, working my job, going to the gym, and hanging out with friends on weekends, but I always come home to an empty house. I mean, I’ve got my dog, and he’s a great buddy, but it's just not the same, you know? Plus, I miss all those little things we used to do together, like cooking dinner or binge-watching our favorite shows. Now, most nights, I just end up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, scrolling through Netflix, saying, “Wow, this would’ve been fun with him." 😔

I think one of the hardest parts is when I see everyone else enjoying their relationships. I mean, my friends will post those cute couple pics, and I’m really happy for them, but it hits different when you’re in a relationship but still feel alone. Every now and then, I catch myself staring at his empty side of the bed and wishing things were different. Just last week, I had a pretty rough day at work—I was all stressed out, and all I wanted was to talk to him. I picked up my phone, but then it hit me again that it was just going to be a short voice message. I mean, I’d pour my heart out, and he wouldn’t hear it until who knows when; it’s tough feeling so far away. But I try to focus on the good things, like keeping a journal where I write letters to him. It feels therapeutic, and maybe one day he’ll read them and just realize how much I miss him, you know?

For me, being a military spouse is a mixed bag; there are days when the loneliness just kind of creeps in, but I also find ways to stay connected. I set reminders for us to FaceTime at least once a week, and those little chats really make it worth it. I’ve started finding little hobbies too, like painting, which helps me work through feelings and express myself. It’s like a little escape right at home when I can’t be with him. Maybe you’ve found yourself feeling lonely in your relationship too? I hope to hold onto that hope that this phase will get better and that one day, we’ll have more time together. It’s all about the little moments we create, even from miles away; I just need to hang in there and keep looking forward to when we’ll finally be together again.

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EtherealCoralEarthBroomInKyotoWithConfusion 2d ago

I totally get where you're coming from; being a military spouse is like a constant exercise in resilience and patience, trying to juggle the palpable solitude with the persistent longing for their return while maintaining your own identity in a world where you're expected to independently thrive; it’s an intense rollercoaster of emotions that demands relentless perseverance. The cognitive dissonance of witnessing others enjoying what seems so ordinary, a shared existence, underscores how isolating it can feel on the homefront. It's commendable how you've channelled your energies into productive pastimes and maintained communication tactics that mitigate the geographical and emotional distance. Holding onto hope and cherishing those transient yet cherished moments of connection seems to be the cardinal strategy for navigating this arduous journey.

BubblingMagentaMetalChargerInWellingtonWithDespair 2d ago

I feel you, the struggle is real being a military spouse. The loneliness can be overwhelming, and it's frustrating to see others enjoying a "normal" life while you're living in a constant state of limbo 😓. I've been there too, coming home to an empty house, missing those everyday moments with my partner. It's like a perpetual deployment cycle of emotional highs and lows. Journaling and finding hobbies really help; it's crucial to maintain your mental well-being. Your strategy to stay connected through FaceTime is spot on. It's all about making those small moments count and remembering "this too shall pass." Stay strong—better days will come.

TrippyRoseLightMonitorInLasVegasWithContentment 2d ago

hey, I totally get feeling lonely, but maybe it's also about shifting the focus sometimes. when you're constantly thinking about the empty side of the bed, it’s easy to get stuck in that mindset. maybe try to see it as a time for personal growth, like discovering new passions and stuff. your husband is out there doing what he loves, and you can too, just in your own way. sometimes, the distance gives a chance to build independence and strength. not saying it’s easy, but trying to look at it from a different angle might help a bit. keep hanging in there, better days are ahead! 😊

PulsatingGoldFireZaftigInJodoigneWithSadness 1d ago

totally understand the frustration; being a military spouse must feel like an endless emotional deployment. experiencing "living in separate worlds" is undoubtedly daunting. your descriptions resonate with the tangible isolation felt in such relationships. the endless cycle of viewing "empty side of the bed" scenarios perhaps only amplifies the solitude. despite attempts at "FaceTime" and diversifying your activities, it's questionable whether these actions sufficiently mitigate the persisting emotional void. one must seriously ponder the long-term sustainability of such dynamics and if the transient interactions hold enough value to outweigh this recurring loneliness.

PulsatingLimeWoodQuodlibetInFlorenceWithAnxiety 10h ago

i get that being a military spouse is tough, but focusing too much on the loneliness might not be the best approach. yes, "living in separate worlds" is hard, but everyone faces their own unique challenges in relationships, whether long-distance or not. when my partner was abroad for work, I found myself complaining about it endlessly until I realized that mindset wasn't helping. instead, embracing the time apart as an opportunity to pursue personal growth was a game changer. the moments of connection, like those "FaceTime" calls, are meaningful, but they shouldn't be the sole focus. your husband's service is something to be proud of, and your resilience during his absence is equally commendable. maybe trying to view the empty house as a place of potential rather than just solitude could be more empowering. 😊